Squid Wrangler's definitions
by Squid Wrangler May 10, 2005
Get the Liberal Mediamug. Want to see the future? Take any speech about foreign policy Bush made in late 2002/early 2003 and replace "Iraq" with "Iran".
by Squid Wrangler May 14, 2005
Get the Iranmug. The recipients of a long-deserved ass kicking from the Carolina Panthers last Sunday. 27-17. The NFL's so-called greatest quarterback was sacked twice and picked off by the league's best defense while their rushing game was held back to sub-40 yards. The sheer joy of seeing Tom Brady weeping like a little girl on the sidelines as the fourth quarter wound down was almost overwhelming.
Steve Smith, Stephen Davis, Ricky Proehl, Julius Peppers, Mike Rucker, Will Witherspoon, and Ken Lucas owned the Patriots.
by Squid Wrangler December 28, 2005
Get the Patriotsmug. A member of the tremendous battalion of lame New Jersey post-hardcore/power pop/blargh/pseudo-genre bending radio-friendly over-produced bands that have recently broken into the American mainstream in an unexpected manner. One of the many bands who are worshipped by legions of former preps who now wear studded belts, Chuck Taylors, and check their Myspace account every six minutes. Fans of My Chemical Romance are usually in-between everything. They're too "refined" to like Linkin Park, Korn, and other ultra-mainstream angst-peddlers but too dense and flat to really do much more than haphazardly dabble in bands that are somewhat more challenging to get into, such as pre-"Dark Side of the Moon" Pink Floyd and Sonic Youth.
My Chemical Romance is mainly at home in combining the sad-sack tendencies of emo lyrics and the overbearing self-absorption found therein (yes I know they're not emo you fucking idiots, emo is a very specific style of music that for all practical purposes has been dead for a few years. But you're truly a moron if you don't think they at least borrow some elements of that genre) with the overdone theatrics of prog rock and metal while having absolutely none of the virtuosity associated with those genres. Makes use of the same limp musicianship that is present in every other generic "dynamic" or "emotional" (short for "not really good at anything") rock band currently making 16 year old girls with glasses and acne cream their pants across the country.
Speaking of their lyrics, this band is nothing special when compared to their peers while absolutely awful compared to somewhat decent bands. One of the "good songs" another person mentioned in another definition contains the following lyrics:
" And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart
And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone call the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
You put the spike in my heart"
Good God. Nothing but lame, weak metaphors about hearts, souls, secrets, gaping holes in all three, and other asinine, pretentious bullshit that is showcased in most songs in this God-forsaken genre. Overblown, meandering pablum that doesn't really even mean anything.
My Chemical Romance is mainly at home in combining the sad-sack tendencies of emo lyrics and the overbearing self-absorption found therein (yes I know they're not emo you fucking idiots, emo is a very specific style of music that for all practical purposes has been dead for a few years. But you're truly a moron if you don't think they at least borrow some elements of that genre) with the overdone theatrics of prog rock and metal while having absolutely none of the virtuosity associated with those genres. Makes use of the same limp musicianship that is present in every other generic "dynamic" or "emotional" (short for "not really good at anything") rock band currently making 16 year old girls with glasses and acne cream their pants across the country.
Speaking of their lyrics, this band is nothing special when compared to their peers while absolutely awful compared to somewhat decent bands. One of the "good songs" another person mentioned in another definition contains the following lyrics:
" And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart
And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone call the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
You put the spike in my heart"
Good God. Nothing but lame, weak metaphors about hearts, souls, secrets, gaping holes in all three, and other asinine, pretentious bullshit that is showcased in most songs in this God-forsaken genre. Overblown, meandering pablum that doesn't really even mean anything.
by Squid Wrangler May 13, 2005
Get the My Chemical Romancemug. Fake, totally unintersesting porn site that has become extremely popular in some bizarre, metaphysical manner. Often credited with single-handedly starting the God-awful trend of "reality" porn sites. Follows the adventures of a handful of bad actors and general wankers employed by porn juggernaut Ox Entertainment. Can typically be seen in and around South Florida paying fat, used-up, coke-shooting skanks $700 to ride around in a van and get reamed by one of the ugly freaks of nature that resides therein. Even then, if you dare conjure up any semblence of an erection, it's usually quelled by a certain wheezing, giggling, cackling, totally obnoxious bastard going by the name of Dirty Sanchez. Very little is known about this mysterious individual, other than the fact that he insists on cracking bad jokes the entire time and seems to get off on random, amateurish zooming and panning. A bunch of equally stupid and low-quality porn sites that feature many of the same girls along with the same lame-brained actors are included as extras for those deluded enough to actually buy a subscription to this shitopia. Even worse than Milf Hunter.
"Hey baby gurrrr hahahahaha wanna like ga hahahaha like come ride with us? Hahahaha, dude, dude, dude!!"
-Dirty Sanchez
-Dirty Sanchez
by Squid Wrangler March 24, 2005
Get the Bang Busmug. One of the most bizarre and mysterious publicity stunts/hoaxes/practical jokes ever put on in rock history. In short, a series of odd messages started showing up on alt.music.pink-floyd around the time "The Division Bell" and the subsequent tour was launched. The poster, going by the name of Publius, claimed that he had a message to convey from Pink Floyd that tied in with the central themes from their newest album. People began assuming that he was actually in some way associated with the band rather than a prankster or joker, although skeptics abounded. It became apparent that the poster was the genuine article when he announced a light display that would be seen during the band's stop in East Rutherford, New Jersey on July 18 of that year. Surely enough, "Enigma Publius" was seen in a light display during "Keep Talking" that night. Plenty of other displays would follow, all predicted by Publius. The words "Publius" and "Enigma" would actually show up in the light displays during shows a few more times, including an occasion captured on the "PULSE" video. The band denied having any pre-knowledge of these events, while lighting director Mark Brickman only said that he was told to do certain things to the lights otherwise he would lose his job.
Things became stranger yet as the words "Enigma" and "Publius" showed up in tiny print on the "Momentary Lapse of Reason" mini-discs released in 1994. There are numerous other odd happenings associated with the Publius Enigma that continued until April 5, 1997. The actual identity of the poster and his relationship, if any, with Pink Floyd and/or its management remains a mystery to this day. The Pink Floyd and Co. website maintains all of the original posts and provides a much more detailed history of the Enigma Publius in the "Us and Them" section of the site.
Things became stranger yet as the words "Enigma" and "Publius" showed up in tiny print on the "Momentary Lapse of Reason" mini-discs released in 1994. There are numerous other odd happenings associated with the Publius Enigma that continued until April 5, 1997. The actual identity of the poster and his relationship, if any, with Pink Floyd and/or its management remains a mystery to this day. The Pink Floyd and Co. website maintains all of the original posts and provides a much more detailed history of the Enigma Publius in the "Us and Them" section of the site.
by Squid Wrangler April 23, 2005
Get the Publius Enigmamug. Jewish comic who makes a living by screaming his head off about things that everyone already knows anyway. Lewis Black is occasionally very funny and thought-provoking in his approach but some of his jokes miss the mark and his angry persona wears off on a viewer over time. His piece on the Daily Show far outshines his stand-up specials because they're just long enough to be entertaining without being grating. Can best be thought of as a stand-up version of Maddox. A tad overrated in many of the same areas as the late Mitch Hedberg.
Although I prefer his segments on the Daily Show, Lewis Black's best stand-up effort in my opinion is "The End."
by Squid Wrangler April 12, 2005
Get the lewis blackmug.