Spencer Ace's definitions

Maryland Crabpinch

A sex act in which a woman rides a man cowgirl style, and the man raises his arms up to pinch/ squeeze the woman’s nipples, resembling a crab

A: I really got her off last night
B: How?
A: I used the Maryland crabpinch

by Spencer Ace August 26, 2019

Arkansas Ark n’ Ass

When you take exactly two of every animal you can find, put them all on a giant boat, and force them to watch you have anal sex

Kyle: Hey Joe, you wanna know what an Arkansas ark n’ ass is?
*30 seconds later*
Joe: What is wrong with you Kyle

by Spencer Ace August 26, 2019

Middle-Eastern Shit Festival

1. A poorly organized event
2. Anything that does not go according to plan for the worse

The food was cold and the DJ showed up an hour late; prom was a middle-eastern shit festival

by Spencer Ace August 26, 2019

Seattle Side-Bender

When you have sex with your Starbucks barista

Damn that barista is hot. I'd love to give her a Seattle Side-Bender

by Spencer Ace August 26, 2019

Appalachian Firefly

A bug killed by holding a match next to it and farting or burping (works best after consuming alcohol)

There was a huge mosquito last night so I turned it into an Appalachian firefly

by Spencer Ace August 26, 2019

Washington Cherry Tree

When two people are having violent sexual intercourse in a tree house and they make the entire tree fall down

I'm guessing my insurance doesn't cover Washington Cherry Trees, huh... Oh well.

by Spencer Ace August 26, 2019

Ratchdar

A revolutionary device that can search and/ or find anyone ratchet in a two- three mile perimeter. Some people choose to use this device as a deranged sex toy, while others use it for voodoo spells.

I turned on my Ratchdar and was frightened to find out there was someone ratchet in the same room as me!

by Spencer Ace December 13, 2014