Definitions by Sky Spang

Never-mom 

Woman (usually) who has never been a mom; birthed a baby; dealt with a teenager; (sometimes have never been married) who self-righteously deal out unsolicited and unfounded parenting advice.

Here goes the never-mom again telling me what kind of relationship I should have with my teenager.🙄

Never-mom by Sky Spang April 18, 2023

X-hiy 

(Pronounced: eksi / X-Hee)
Adjective

1. Showing tendency towards exhibitionism or exposing their sexual organs in public

2. Intending to make people notice you

I can’t continue to date him. He’s a little x-hiy and I’d never be able to bring him to a work function.

X-hiy by Sky Spang September 9, 2020

Texterpretation 

2. The (mis)interpretation of a text, which may have nothing to do with the actual intent of the message.

My texterpretation of your reply text “good morning” was that you don’t give a shit about me or anything that I said in my preceding message.

Texterpretation by Sky Spang January 16, 2020

Commit-and-Run 

noun

The act of jumping with both feet into a quick, fully-committed relationship followed by immediate withdrawal.

adjective

Denoting or intended for demonstrating immediate commitment for the sake of quickness or effect rather than for permanency.

"My new boyfriend felt sure we had a connection from day one and were destined to be together; then scared the shit out of himself and ran away. I was the victim of a commit-and-run."

"commit-and-run men who lead women into believing that they are the one, in the first few dates, only to never be heard from again"

Commit-and-Run by Sky Spang November 20, 2019

Textopia

This is a real thing in the online dating world. Was previously submitted incorrectly and has been reworked:

Textopia
noun
1. the euphoric state or feelings usually associated to an online relationship; in which all things are perfect because all communication is electronic and no personal contact has occurred

adjective

Textopian
1. Modeled for the perfect state of a relationship where all communication or contact has been made electronically.

I've been in a textopian relationship with him for months, although he has never asked me out on a date.

Textopia by Sky Spang May 19, 2017

Beautifar 

Adjective

Beautiful from afar

I saw an attractive girl walking toward me on the other side of the street, but as she drew closer and closer, not so much. She was beautifar.

Beautifar by Sky Spang May 14, 2017

Streepish 

Adjective

Used to describe someone who either looks beautiful or looks like shit; nothing in between

Celebrities that could be described as streepish: Meryl Streep, Uma Therman, Susan Sarandon, Sandra Bullock

I would describe her look as streepish, as she is either breathlessly beautiful or looks like a dude from one moment to the next.

Streepish by Sky Spang May 14, 2017