Definitions by Sister Wives

pandemic resolution 

something that are going to accomplish during the next pandemic shutdown

My desktop is just loaded with files. That will be a good pandemic resolution, I will be sure to clean them up during when I'm trapped at home for 3 months again.

pandemic resolution by Sister Wives July 22, 2021

Air jerking

Shaking your smart watch or phone to mimic movement so you don’t actually need to move

I didn’t close my rings today so I’ll just sit here air jerking while I finish my Cheetos

Air jerking by Sister Wives April 6, 2021

Covid day 

When you need a sick day so you purposely fail your symptom checker and call out as suspected Covid contact

I didn’t sleep well last night so I think I’ll purposely fail my symptom checker and just take a Covid day

Covid day by Sister Wives February 26, 2021

Maskurbate 

The process of grabbing the tip of your mask and moving around your face

I was speaking with this salesman but it was hard to concentrate because he would maskurbate while answering my questions.

Maskurbate by Sister Wives February 26, 2021

Putin & Marley 

A frozen concoction featuring vodka, coffee liquor and dark rum blended with ice and consumed alone or with friends

Dude, it is so hot and I would love to drink a black Russian.

Why don't you make us some Putin & Marley's

Putin & Marley by Sister Wives May 10, 2018

deadlie 

A picture taken of yourself at a funeral, preferably next to the deceased, that is planned to be shared via social media. The deadlie snapper recapture an audience that really doesn't care about them. It is the ultimate selfie

I snapped a selfie with Joan Rivers once however I only wish I had the chance to get a deadlie with her at her funeral.

deadlie by Sister Wives April 10, 2015

Dogfish Dick 

the male sexual disorder often characterized by the inability to ejaculate due to the excessive consumption of Dogfish Head beer, thereby exhausting your wife, girlfriend, mistress, life partner such that she has to tap out and finish you off in the morning.

After an evening at the Turtle with the "Wild Hogs", Mr. Marino returned home to seduce his wife by massaging her back only for her to later discover that he had Dogfish Dick.

Dogfish Dick by Sister Wives January 17, 2013