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Definitions by Shumado

Soccer Mom

Middle-class white mother that has nothing better to do with her time than organize her children's extra-curricular sporting activities. Provided for by her husband, she creates an out-of-touch middle class bubble for herself and is very grumpy when anyone disturbs it. In addition to the descriptions already listed, I will add that soccer moms are usually sporting some mid-90s Jennifer Aniston version hair with a lot of clunky preppie jewelry. They are into status symbols; big expensive car, kids performing well, newest trending phone, expensive looking jewelry. Thinks that the term "Soccer Mom" is somehow a compliment and is ditzy enough to put stickers of soccer balls on their back windows.
Look at this oblivious soccer mom holding up traffic!
Soccer Mom by Shumado September 5, 2013

pet husband 

A husband who provides constant care and attention to his emotionally needy Amazon wife. This husband is required to constantly attend her and follow her where ever she goes; even when not always appropriate.
"Who's that guy that's been sitting out in the parking lot for 3 hours?"

"Oh, that's Sally's pet husband. He's waiting for her to finish work."
pet husband by Shumado April 14, 2013

Lowest Common Denominator

Phrase meaning base or crass. Used to describe ideas associated with sex or innuendo. Similar to the phrase "his mind is in the gutter."
"It's embarrassing inviting Dave to my parents' house; he always takes the conversation to the lowest common denominator."

fake in-laws 

Your sibling's spouce's family. ie. your brother's wife's parents. In-laws belonging to your brother or sister, but not to you.

People you have no obligation to see or spend time with, but have to put up with on a regular basis at functions or holidays. Though they really aren't your inlaws, they must be treated as such- just to keep everyone getting along.
The fake in-laws are coming to Thanksgiving, again?

I know- putting up with the brother-in-law is bad enough, without his whole family crashing in.
fake in-laws by Shumado July 1, 2011

Grocery Line Jacker

The person at the back of a long grocery line who jumps in front of everyone as a new check out lane is opened up.
Dude, he's only been waiting for like one minute. I can't believe he just jumped into that new lane.

He's a total grocery line jacker. It's not a race, buddy.
Someone hired on the basis of nepotism: when relatives or spouces of company employees are preferred for new hires. Companies assume that the relative of a stable, responsible employee will have a similar work ethic, so rather than take a risk on time-consuming resume reading and interviewing with outside hires, they will simply nepo hire. An HR cop-out.
Did you meet the new guy? He's John's step-brother.

Yeah, I heard they didn't even call his references or require a drug-screen test. He's a total nepo hire.
nepo hire by Shumado April 24, 2011

glamazon 

a woman with an overdeveloped sense of beauty, glamour, and fashion. Akin to a beauty warrior or fashion police, a glamazon worships glamour and can be belligerent toward anyone who does not share the same sensibility.
"and then she uninvited me to the party because I didn't wear earrings to the gym!"

What a glamazon! She needs to get real!
glamazon by Shumado February 27, 2011