Shumado's definitions

Co-dependent

Often describing someone who finds all their value as a human being in having a romantic relationship. If they are single, they feel like a total failure and therefore will put up with all kinds of possessive, unhealthy Mr/Ms. Wrongs to bolster their own self worth.

Often seen in high school sweethearts who date all the way through college and into mid-20s. Even though annoyed and bored with each other, they still refuse to break up because they can't stand being single.

Debbie said she always knew Jason wasn't 'the one', but still dated him for 7 years. She's as co-dependent as a barnacle.

by Shumado May 18, 2014

fake in-laws

Your sibling's spouce's family. ie. your brother's wife's parents. In-laws belonging to your brother or sister, but not to you.

People you have no obligation to see or spend time with, but have to put up with on a regular basis at functions or holidays. Though they really aren't your inlaws, they must be treated as such- just to keep everyone getting along.

The fake in-laws are coming to Thanksgiving, again?

I know- putting up with the brother-in-law is bad enough, without his whole family crashing in.

by Shumado July 1, 2011

Soccer Mom

Middle-class white mother that has nothing better to do with her time than organize her children's extra-curricular sporting activities. Provided for by her husband, she creates an out-of-touch middle class bubble for herself and is very grumpy when anyone disturbs it. In addition to the descriptions already listed, I will add that soccer moms are usually sporting some mid-90s Jennifer Aniston version hair with a lot of clunky preppie jewelry. They are into status symbols; big expensive car, kids performing well, newest trending phone, expensive looking jewelry. Thinks that the term "Soccer Mom" is somehow a compliment and is ditzy enough to put stickers of soccer balls on their back windows.

Look at this oblivious soccer mom holding up traffic!

by Shumado September 5, 2013

adam's ale

Water. A tongue-in-cheek joke derived from the creation story in the Bible. Adam was the first man in the Garden of Eden; he lived a pure lifestyle in communion with God. Before the fall, he was unclothed an eating just fruits and vegetables in the garden, therefore the only thing to drink was water.

Bartender: "So you're on the wagon? Well we've got some fine Adam's Ale on tap for you."

by Shumado January 8, 2017

provincial

describing people who only care about eating, sleeping, making money, and owning crap. Very unimaginative, uncultured people with no concept of the arts, history, language, faith, travel, or why any those things should be valued. Has not visited a library or museum since the 7th grade. Doesn't know the name of a bluebird (really). Like Mr. Banks in Mary Poppins, they "can't see past the end of their nose".

Bell in Beauty and the Beast: "I want much more than this provincial life!"

by Shumado April 14, 2015

tool

a person who does what everyone else expects them to do. Whatever gets them the most praise or popularity, whether it is good or bad or dumb, they just do it unquestioningly. A person who is being taken advantage of but they just eat it up with a spoon and ask for seconds. Some tools don't understand that they are being used, others do and will complain incessantly about being unfairly treated, while having no intention of doing anything about it.

Jim is always complaining about his horrible miserable job, but he will never take the trouble of looking for a better one. What a tool!

by Shumado December 3, 2013

blue gum

a racial slur for an African American. Connotes a lazy, silly-dumb, manual laborer. Derogatory, but not as derogatory as the "n" word. You'll probably still get beat up if you use it in company.

Those blue gums up the crik eat nothin' but watermelons.

by Shumado April 10, 2015