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Shumado's definitions

adam's ale

Water. A tongue-in-cheek joke derived from the creation story in the Bible. Adam was the first man in the Garden of Eden; he lived a pure lifestyle in communion with God. Before the fall, he was unclothed an eating just fruits and vegetables in the garden, therefore the only thing to drink was water.
Bartender: "So you're on the wagon? Well we've got some fine Adam's Ale on tap for you."
by Shumado January 8, 2017
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Soccer Mom

Middle-class white mother that has nothing better to do with her time than organize her children's extra-curricular sporting activities. Provided for by her husband, she creates an out-of-touch middle class bubble for herself and is very grumpy when anyone disturbs it. In addition to the descriptions already listed, I will add that soccer moms are usually sporting some mid-90s Jennifer Aniston version hair with a lot of clunky preppie jewelry. They are into status symbols; big expensive car, kids performing well, newest trending phone, expensive looking jewelry. Thinks that the term "Soccer Mom" is somehow a compliment and is ditzy enough to put stickers of soccer balls on their back windows.
Look at this oblivious soccer mom holding up traffic!
by Shumado September 5, 2013
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Lowest Common Denominator

Phrase meaning base or crass. Used to describe ideas associated with sex or innuendo. Similar to the phrase "his mind is in the gutter."
"It's embarrassing inviting Dave to my parents' house; he always takes the conversation to the lowest common denominator."
by Shumado January 24, 2012
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6-year burnout

The amount of time it takes for young inspired teachers to reach complete burnout in American public schools. This is largely due to standardized lesson plans and tests, inept administration, being worked overtime with poor pay, and students and parents who don't care.
New Teacher: "If I can just reach one student today, I will have done a good job"

6-year burnout teacher: "Jason, I'm sick of your attitude. Turn in your test and get out of my classroom!"

6-year burnout teacher: "Class, instead of having you read Julius Caesar, and me teach you about it, we are just going to watch a portion of the movie to cram for the EOG test."
by Shumado February 24, 2011
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glamazon

a woman with an overdeveloped sense of beauty, glamour, and fashion. Akin to a beauty warrior or fashion police, a glamazon worships glamour and can be belligerent toward anyone who does not share the same sensibility.
"and then she uninvited me to the party because I didn't wear earrings to the gym!"

What a glamazon! She needs to get real!
by Shumado February 27, 2011
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fake in-laws

Your sibling's spouce's family. ie. your brother's wife's parents. In-laws belonging to your brother or sister, but not to you.

People you have no obligation to see or spend time with, but have to put up with on a regular basis at functions or holidays. Though they really aren't your inlaws, they must be treated as such- just to keep everyone getting along.
The fake in-laws are coming to Thanksgiving, again?

I know- putting up with the brother-in-law is bad enough, without his whole family crashing in.
by Shumado July 1, 2011
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