16 definitions by Rollo & Biff
Disgusting but effective bathroom prank. The Sloppy Gonzales is performed by wiping your ass on toilet paper after a particularly messy shit and using it to flush the toilet before disposing of it in the bowl. Also effective on sink faucets as well. A perfect companion piece to the greasy pablo and the upper decker.
As I proceeded to take a wicked shit at the party, some rude guy kept pounding on the door and telling me to "hurry the fuck up," so I left the asshole a Sloppy Gonzales before departing.
by Rollo & Biff December 24, 2007
A heartless cretin making minimum wage whose job involves calling prospective clients to sell them goods or services they don't want, can't afford and have no use for. They tend to target the elderly and the very young, as these two are the most vulnerable to their bullshit sales pitches, and usually call to annoy you around dinner time as that is when you are most likely to be around. These miserable parasites are as moral as an Islamic terrorist on PCP and are the social equivalent of a tiny insect feasting on the sweaty brown residue between the anus and testicles.
ME: Hello?
TELEMARKETER: Hello, is this Mr. (my name)?
ME: Yes, how can I help you?
TELEMARKETER: Hi! I represent the Federal Guarantee Life Insurance Company, and I'd like to talk to you about--
ME: Excuse me...there's someone at my door. Could you hold on for a moment?
TELEMARKETER: Sure!
(I go off to watch TV and return five minutes later)
ME: You still there?
TELEMARKETER: Yes.
ME: Fuck you, dickwad. --click--
TELEMARKETER: Hello, is this Mr. (my name)?
ME: Yes, how can I help you?
TELEMARKETER: Hi! I represent the Federal Guarantee Life Insurance Company, and I'd like to talk to you about--
ME: Excuse me...there's someone at my door. Could you hold on for a moment?
TELEMARKETER: Sure!
(I go off to watch TV and return five minutes later)
ME: You still there?
TELEMARKETER: Yes.
ME: Fuck you, dickwad. --click--
by Rollo & Biff December 4, 2007
Having the quality of a politically reactionary idea, statement or principle, used expressely for the purpose of alienating those whose positions are contrary to the neocon idiot espousing them. Coulteresque statements are inflammatory and/or hateful by nature, and are usually directed at intelligent people whose political views are inconsistent with those of ultra right-wing author and crackpot commentator Ann Coulter and those of her ilk.
As I sat in the redneck bar, my ears were assaulted by one Coulteresque statement after another as two drunken neocon idiots demonstrated their ignorance of politics to the other patrons.
by Rollo & Biff July 3, 2007
1. A very boastful and talkative person; a braggart
2. A self-important egomaniac who likes to toot his own horn, like those assholes who put bumper stickers on their cars that say "PROUD PARENTS OF AN HONOR STUDENT AT (blah blah blah) HIGH SCHOOL"
2. A self-important egomaniac who likes to toot his own horn, like those assholes who put bumper stickers on their cars that say "PROUD PARENTS OF AN HONOR STUDENT AT (blah blah blah) HIGH SCHOOL"
by Rollo & Biff May 27, 2006
Unlawful means of procuring a controlled drug through perscriptions authorized by multiple doctors for treatment of the same affliction.
See RUSH LIMBAUGH
See RUSH LIMBAUGH
by Rollo & Biff May 7, 2006
aka "Ballbuster Video"
Video/Game rental franchaise of dubious merit that discovered they were losing a huge market share of the video rental industry by instituting an authoritarian return policy, whereupon they stupidly decided to waive all late fees to offset their dwindling customer accounts. They then decided to enter the mail rental biz and have been getting their asses wiped by Netflix (aka "Netflux") ever since, mostly because of the poor customer service and shitty selection they offer their members. Never has a once-successful company ever tried so hard to fuck itself up the ass six ways to Sunday at every turn. We can only sit back and watch with curious amusement as it struggles to outdo its own corporate incompetence before cashing in its proverbial chips to the competition. Meanwhile, all of Blockbuster's former customers can register their disgust with these assholes by driving up to the night return facility and pissing in the slot.
Video/Game rental franchaise of dubious merit that discovered they were losing a huge market share of the video rental industry by instituting an authoritarian return policy, whereupon they stupidly decided to waive all late fees to offset their dwindling customer accounts. They then decided to enter the mail rental biz and have been getting their asses wiped by Netflix (aka "Netflux") ever since, mostly because of the poor customer service and shitty selection they offer their members. Never has a once-successful company ever tried so hard to fuck itself up the ass six ways to Sunday at every turn. We can only sit back and watch with curious amusement as it struggles to outdo its own corporate incompetence before cashing in its proverbial chips to the competition. Meanwhile, all of Blockbuster's former customers can register their disgust with these assholes by driving up to the night return facility and pissing in the slot.
by Rollo & Biff April 4, 2008
Quick to take offense. Other words used to define the phrase are sensitive and defensive. The phrase "thin-skinned" is derived from the idea that such people are easy to attack as their skin is too thin to offer protection from assault.
The media exercised great caution when editorializing the words of the thin-skinned president to avoid acts of retribution from the IRS.
by Rollo & Biff March 26, 2008