Definitions by Robert Sanvagene

consent accident 

The act of forcing oneself onto a non-consenting party for the purposes of sexual gratification under the pretext that they did not understand that the non-consenting party's objections to said sexual contact.

HR: "Elliot, one of your colleagues claimed that you sexually assaulted them at the office Christmas party"
Elliot: "No Ma'am, it was a consent accident."

consent accident by Robert Sanvagene November 8, 2022

Lanley's Law 

As any online discussion involving the word "monorail" progresses, the probability of it degenerating into a string of Simpsons references approaches 1.

Friend: "You should ride the Monorail when you go to Vegas"
Me: "I hear those things are awfully loud."
Friend: " It glides as softly as a cloud"
Me: "Lanley's Law strikes again!"

Lanley's Law by Robert Sanvagene April 27, 2022

Vladimir 

Slang term for toilet. Named after Russian warlord Vladimir Putin, whose surname sounds like 'poo tin' i.e. a place in which to place a poo.

"Had a really dodgy curry last night. I've spent all morning in the Vladimir."

Vladimir by Robert Sanvagene April 2, 2022

och aye the fuckin noo 

Friendly traditional Scottish greeting, often said shortly before a Glasgow kiss

Willie: "och aye the fuckin noo, Jock!"
Jock: *gives Willie a Glasgow kiss*

och aye the fuckin noo by Robert Sanvagene September 13, 2021

Dingo Piss Creek 

A river in the Australian outback, located somewhere between the Back of Bourke and the Black Stump.

I'm taking me new LandCruiser to Dingo Piss Creek on the long weekend.

Dingo Piss Creek by Robert Sanvagene September 5, 2021

Pisshat 

Alternative name for Passat; a mid-sized family sedan made by Volkswagen.

Motorist: "This is the fifth time this year my car has stopped running!"
Mechanic: "I told you shouldn't have bought a Pisshat. Buy a Camry next time."

Pisshat by Robert Sanvagene March 27, 2020

Craptiva

Small-medium sized SUV made in South Korea by Daewoo from 2007 through 2019. Sold by GM under the Chevrolet and Holden brand names. Notorious for premature engine and transmission failures.

Me: "How's the wife's RAV4 going?"
Old mate: "Yeah nah ... she traded it in for a Craptiva. Now it's off the road with a stuffed engine and the Holden dealer wants $10k to fix it."
Me: "fkn Craptiva lol"

Craptiva by Robert Sanvagene March 27, 2020