Definitions by Rob Porter
lemonade launcher
(n.) Slang term used by children, parents and pediatricians, that refers to the urethra of the male penis or the female vagina.
The term 'lemonade launcher' is a preferred euphemism to use when conversing with children about personal hygiene, unlike other nouns considered to be vulgar, like pisshole, pussy juice, dick, cock, cunt, twat, etc. Most parents would prefer that their children not use such 'nasty nouns.'
The term 'lemonade launcher' is a preferred euphemism to use when conversing with children about personal hygiene, unlike other nouns considered to be vulgar, like pisshole, pussy juice, dick, cock, cunt, twat, etc. Most parents would prefer that their children not use such 'nasty nouns.'
Natalie, you must remember to wash and clean your lemonade launcher before you get out of the bathtub.
lemonade launcher by Rob Porter March 12, 2009
schplotz
1. (v.) To engage in sexual intercourse with a person or object.
2. (v.) To penetrate the deep orifices or cavities of a person or object with a dildo. It is more polite to use this term than the F-word in mixed company.
This must not be misconstrued or misspelled as the verb splotch.
Synonym: fuck
2. (v.) To penetrate the deep orifices or cavities of a person or object with a dildo. It is more polite to use this term than the F-word in mixed company.
This must not be misconstrued or misspelled as the verb splotch.
Synonym: fuck
I love to schplotz myself with a broom handle.
John and Mary were arrested for schplotzing on their front lawn.
He schplotzed his inflatable doll all night long.
John and Mary were arrested for schplotzing on their front lawn.
He schplotzed his inflatable doll all night long.
schplotz by Rob Porter March 12, 2009
scumbag slut
(n.) One that indulges in felching used condoms (scumbags), regardless of what orifice it was used to penetrate. The afflicted individual then consumes the condom to top off the delicious snack.
As she strutted down the sidewalk in her slutty attire, she thought of how great it felt to be the most popular scumbag slut in the red light district of town.
"Say, Doc, there's three rubbers in the vomit of that guy in ER room 5. This patient is a scumbag slut if I ever saw one."
"Say, Doc, there's three rubbers in the vomit of that guy in ER room 5. This patient is a scumbag slut if I ever saw one."
scumbag slut by Rob Porter March 2, 2009
loogie
(n.) A mass of mucous and saliva that is forcefully ejected from the mouth onto a person or object.
The noun loogie is commonly used in conjunction with the verb 'hock.' See example below:
The noun loogie is commonly used in conjunction with the verb 'hock.' See example below:
Lucy: "Ethel! Did you just hock a loogie in my coffee?"
Ethel: "Why, yes, Lucy, don't I always?"
Lucy: "Oh yeah I forgot! My FAVORITE!"
Ethel: "You empty the pot and I'll give you some snot, deal??"
Lucy: "MMMMMMmmmmmm!!! Thanks, Ethel! Jeepers you're the greatest! Gosh I've been hocking loogies in Ricky's coffee for eleven years (sigh). You know how those Cubans are about their boogers..."
"Yes... that fat fucker Fred is the same way. Hmph... MEN!!!
Ethel: "Why, yes, Lucy, don't I always?"
Lucy: "Oh yeah I forgot! My FAVORITE!"
Ethel: "You empty the pot and I'll give you some snot, deal??"
Lucy: "MMMMMMmmmmmm!!! Thanks, Ethel! Jeepers you're the greatest! Gosh I've been hocking loogies in Ricky's coffee for eleven years (sigh). You know how those Cubans are about their boogers..."
"Yes... that fat fucker Fred is the same way. Hmph... MEN!!!
loogie by Rob Porter February 23, 2009
Spanish moss
The pubic hair of an elderly ho, which is often moldy, greenish in color, and infested with crabs, lice, brown recluse spiders, beetle larvae, maggots and other living and dead organisms. The aroma given off from Spanish moss is overwhelming and can sometimes be fatal.
Doctor: Nurse, come in here please! I can't place a catheter in this patient!
Nurse: Why not, Doctor? Is there too much Spanish moss around her twat or something?
Doctor: Maybe so. Would you give me a hand on this one??
Nurse: Sure, doctor. Let me put on some gloves and I'll see if I can make my way through that Spanish moss. Pee-ooo!
*** RELATED LIMERICK ***
There was an old whore from the Azores,
Whose cunt was so covered with sores;
That the dogs in the street
Wouldn't eat the green meat,
That hung from festoons on her drawers.
Nurse: Why not, Doctor? Is there too much Spanish moss around her twat or something?
Doctor: Maybe so. Would you give me a hand on this one??
Nurse: Sure, doctor. Let me put on some gloves and I'll see if I can make my way through that Spanish moss. Pee-ooo!
*** RELATED LIMERICK ***
There was an old whore from the Azores,
Whose cunt was so covered with sores;
That the dogs in the street
Wouldn't eat the green meat,
That hung from festoons on her drawers.
Spanish moss by Rob Porter January 14, 2009
bouldermeister
bouldermeister by Rob Porter January 13, 2009
chat sex
(n.) Same as phone sex, except that one must keep both hands on the keyboard. This indicates that one must use one's feet to masturbate, or learn to type with their toes. This leaves both hands free to grope yourself and someone else simultaneously. If fortune prevails, you could use the other hand to perform a rusty trombone or rusty trumpet on your favorite live sex partner while having chat sex with a third party.
STEVE42: Are you there, Bruce?
BRUCE69: Yes.
STEVE42: Let's have chat sex, OK?
BRUCE69: All right, man!
STEVE42: Let me find my big giant dildo, OK?
BRUCE69: OK. I'll just give your grandmother a rusty trumpet to pass the time, OK?
STEVE42: Sounds good.
BRUCE69: All right, my man! We're gonna get naked and nasty tonight!
BRUCE69: Yes.
STEVE42: Let's have chat sex, OK?
BRUCE69: All right, man!
STEVE42: Let me find my big giant dildo, OK?
BRUCE69: OK. I'll just give your grandmother a rusty trumpet to pass the time, OK?
STEVE42: Sounds good.
BRUCE69: All right, my man! We're gonna get naked and nasty tonight!
chat sex by Rob Porter January 5, 2009