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Real Gangsta in da House's definitions

Jazz

Please click on all the links you find as they will be helpful in your quest for music.

I've read some of the definitions here and some idiots have the cheek to call this filth 'music' and even bigger idiots have said that gangsta rap ISN'T the greatest form of music ever created (I know true music fans, some fools really do think like this.) All 3 of the jazz 'songs' I have heard it doesn't even have any lyrics? How can that poor excuse for music if you can't hear the artist tell a beautiful story from the street about the bitch he banged last night?

My teacher used to like jazz and that asshole made me learn stuff so I know jazz is shit. I work in McDonalds now so that I never have to worry about learning or thinking ever again. Jazz 'music' has NO beat and some of it isn't even made by machines that make a constant, mind numbing 'bip bop' for real music listeners to get down to.

Rap was invented by my fellow brothers so if you prefer any other type of music other than rap that means you're a racist white cracker that needs to be burned like the bird shit you are!

Have you noticed that they never play jazz on MTV? That is because MTV only plays the top 40 which means they only play good music. Only old people that were alive when we evolved from snakes listen to this dribble because they are ashamed that good music like rap didn't exist in the dinosaurious ages.

This is how every jazz song sounds like "KEEP ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'" That isn't music! That is crap! Go get some Ja Rule you old pensioners.
Go listen to your crappy Jazz, Blues or whatever you call it if you wish to remain a fool. Rap is the only true music with soul because it has lyrics that speak from the heart and tell us a tale. ('Soul' 'music' should be called Soul-less music. ZING!)
by Real Gangsta in da House July 29, 2005
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Heaven

Heaven in a place that members of religions such as Christianity believe we go when we die if we follow their religion.

Heaven is suppose to be a place where happiness is eternal and it is perfect. However, no matter how great a place is, no matter how nice and happy everyone is, there is bound to be one bastard there that pisses you off, even if they are trying to be nice. You know the type, the really annoying type that follows you and won't leave you alone.

If you can't be away from the person, heaven isn't perfect because he pisses you off. If he can't be with you, he gets upset and heaven isn't perfect. I conclude that heaven must therefore be a state of mind where we are happy due to our inside only and we are unresponsive to the outside.

Heaven, I conclude is a cell where we are drugged up to give us a false feeling of happiness. Eternal happiness with no thought or any other feeling. Happiness can only be appreciated in comparison to other emotions. Without saddness, there is no happiness. Just as there is no good without evil.

I proclaim that heaven is us in the void of non-existence with no emotion.
If you think that makes no sense (Which I admit it doesn't.) Think about the websites that consider this proof that god exists.
"If God doesn't exist then we can never know what is good just because there is no ultimate good to be known."
by Real Gangsta in da House August 4, 2005
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Black Album

The name that many artists and bands have decided to name their album. Some of the artists to have given one of their albums this title are:
Jay-Z
Prince
The Damned
Boyd Rice
Metallica fans also refer to their self entitled album as the Black Album due to its nameless cover and to symbolise the beginning of the end.

Ira Peel hasn't looked at the Music Fan Reaction List. A Metallica fan wouldn't cry because someone insulted their favourite album with such a poor insult.

BTW The Metallica album wasn't called 'The Black Album' so Jay-Z didn't steal it. You're thinking of his beats.

I am using this definition to hurl abuse at everyone else that has posted whether than describe the term. I am just like everyone else on this site. I'm cool for once unlike school!
Punk: Will scream and violently attack everything nearby except people.
Rap: If act tough and attempt to defend their music with crap like 'Yo is just jealous as ya not gangsta lie us nigga'
Metal: Will violently assualt the blastfermor.
Classical: Will state you as being an uncultured yob.
Emo: Will run home and cry about it in their mother's arms.
Goth: Will run home and cut themselves
Hippie: Who cares? It's all cool man.
by Real Gangsta in da House July 31, 2005
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MTV Rocks

MTV is the only thing we true music fans have left nowadays. Music however is being destroyed by 'posers' (A word I don't understand the meaning of but I like to use to insult people I don't like.) I was in a chatroom with my mate, Dave, talking about how wicked that new Chingy video was , yeah. Then this twat told us to get off the Classical music forum and go on the rap forum. I told that fucker straight
"Rap is classic and will always be remembered as the greatest music ever!"
He then asked if I have heard any other genres of music and I said
"No, I'm not a filthy gawth so I only listen to rap music."
He then said that if I was a true music fan I would look into all forms of music before making such a rash judgement, and get this, the cheeky twat even said that other forms of music exists outside of MTV. Of course I said
"If it isn't on MTV, it must be shit because no one likes it" and then he said that MTV was ruining music. MTV IS MUSIC. That is like saying Tony Blair is ruining England. Whoever this 'Jimi Hendrix' and this 'Pink Flyod' chap was, they both must have been shit rappers because I have never seen them on MTV. If you want music, please watch MTV. The rappers on their are creating art. Shit like Mozart only wanted the money so they just vomited out any old bollocks.
MTV is the greatest creation ever to ever be, ever.
by Real Gangsta in da House July 31, 2005
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Classical Music

Considered a type of music however unlike music it doesn't involve computer generated beats and even more shockingly, no lyrics.

Classical music has no emotion behind it. True lyricists like 50 cent speak from the heart. Classical doesn't have any lyrics so you don't know what they were thinking when they wrote that filth.

The majority of listeners are old people so you know it sucks, old people are too old to know and appreciate real music.

Most Classical msuic was made before 1995 which means it is old. Classical losers should stop living in the past and get with the times. It's 2005 at the time of typing!

Everybody knows that Mozart only got famous when he started beefing with the Beethoven man. During their sets, they would get semi-naked girls to dance on stage and perform sexually suggestive acts upone each other.

Anyone can make classical music.
1: Think of some random notes (Not even beats!)
2: Repeat step 1 six times
3: Invite 25 of ya gang around
4: Give them a violin or trombone or something else (NOT a turntable to be seen!)
5: Give each person a different sheet with random notes
6: Record the result
7: Get some director who is old to play it during their movie.

8 Mile is the best movie ever made and that ended with 'Lose Yourself'. No Classical in that. Only REAL music.

The reason classical is only played during movies nowadays is because:
1: If they played rap, people would focus more on the wicked beats than the plot.
2: All directors are older than 30 because they lived when dinosaurs ate people but unfortunely they lived.
3: Rap artists like 50 cent have too much dignity to let their art be given to shitty films like 'Civtizen Cane'

Classical only used to be popular because it was 'cool' at the time and true music like rap wasn't invented yet.

Classical is boring. When is the last time you saw classical music on MTV or at no.1 in the charts? I rest my case.
NOT music: Ludwig Van Beethoven
Music: 50 cent, Chingy, Nelly, Ludacris, Bone Crusher, Ja Rule, The Game (Not so much now, since 50 cent is the best and 50 cent hates The Game, that means he sucks, even the old stuff is now crap)
by Real Gangsta in da House July 29, 2005
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Stockport

A place in England that doesn't contain enough townies. There are only 500,000 neds in Stockport yet I think I saw a grunger once. What if they round themselves up and attempt to outnumber us. I am a chav and without at least 20 townies surrounding me constantly I get scared.

Stockport is full of places fo' us Gs to hang 5 innit such as the cinema to see some light entertainment such as the latest xXx movie. There are benches outside of the local 5 star resturant McDonalds where one can spit as much as he chooses. In fact, there are three McDs. Truely a luxurius choice of a home town and a highly cultured society. Such as the local musical art theater, HMV, that plays exquisite rap classics. Beautiful paintings can be around the many monuments in which artists express themselves with spraypaint with such poetry as "I fucked Jen at this spot".

Has one of the only town centres smart enough not to ban hoodies (After all, they would lose ALL their customers, literally.)
Stockport is a high class, cultured society so we try not to let any riff-raff like you punks or working class jazz fags get in our way.
by Real Gangsta in da House July 31, 2005
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Surprise Sex

Aren't birthday parties or presents better when you don't expect them? Surprise Sex also a fantastic method to meet new people and interesting people like hot women or the police. Just ask Bill O'Reilly, he has been engaging in the practice of 'Surprise Sex' for nearly 20 years.
I didn't rape her officer. Haven't you heard of surprise sex?
by Real Gangsta in da House July 31, 2005
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