Definitions by QuacksO

cementery 

A "low budget" graveyard where the headstones are just molded from Portland Redi-mix instead of costly professionally-carved granite.

In "A Christmas Carol", it doesn't mention whether the miser Scrooge's tombstone was in a cementery or not.

cementery by QuacksO June 28, 2018

alibligh

Nicknamed after the infamous "H.M.S. Bounty mutiny" captain, this is a supposedly-exonerating tale/explanation of one's intentions/whereabouts/circumstances while in possession/command of a sailing-vessel, the narrative is intended to prove one's innocence with regards to being overdue, damage to the ship, loss of crew/cargo, etc.

The captain of the "ghost ship" that Laurel and Hardy signed on to would sure need one heck of an alibligh to explain to his superiors why he had even **fewer** crew-members aboard his ship on his return-journey than the pathetic few number of sailors that he'd started out with (due to Arthur Houseman's character --- the lanky dim-witted drunkard --- being hauled off by his estranged wife, and the "new" i.e., "shanghaied" sailors' diving off the side of the ship in terror when they catch sight of the whitewash-soaked Houseman and believe he is a ghost), especially since he had been making a concerted effort to acquire additional hands at the sailors' tavern when he'd first run into "The Boys" sometime earlier.

alibligh by QuacksO June 28, 2018

Osteracize 

(verb) To loudly/harshly put down someone who uses/prefers Oster™-brand kitchen appliances.

Salespeople who represent competing brands (Hamilton Beach™, Cuisineart™, Mr. Coffee™, Toastmaster™, etc.) of culinary machines have been known to abrasively Osteracize customers who place items of the older-fashioned brand in their shopping carts.

Osteracize by QuacksO June 27, 2018

kewl kukumberz 

A decidedly step up da coolness-ladder from merely "cool beans".

Dude #1: Tiffany cuddled naked in bed wif me and let me knead her butt-cheeks and play wif her boobs for half an hour in exchange for my changing her tire.
Dude #2: Wooooo-hooooooooo --- kewl kukumberz! Please let me know if she needs any help wif her computer, heh heh... hubba, hubba!
Dude #1: Will do, Buddy --- we cool dudes need to stick together, eh???

kewl kukumberz by QuacksO June 27, 2018

sighanide 

A toxic chemical that was sneakily added to OTC medications like Tylenol™ in the early '80's; its typical effect was to cause the meds’ consumers to frequently heave deep fretful inhalations and otherwise behave in a restless dissatisfied manner.

OTC meds are now “sealed for your protection”, but that doesn’t seem to stop some grumpy cantankerous individuals from exhibiting sighanide-like symptoms, anyway.

sighanide by QuacksO June 27, 2018

fizzician 

Sarcastic term for a quack doctor who habitually prescribes carbonated beverages to treat his patients' ailments.

A fizzician who also has a pediatrician's license can be very helpful/useful for dissatisfied "picky eater" kiddos who wish their parents would let them drink more soda.

fizzician by QuacksO June 26, 2018

limp-rag syndrome

Where a malingerer habitually claims to be utterly drained/exhausted whenever anything resembling w-o-r-k is suggested, yet is then able to hop right back up and participate in more desirable stuff like eating, intimacy, pleasant/recreational activities, etc.

I'm all for allowing someone to decline helping out with a group-effort task if he truly is disabled or too weak/fatigued to even move a muscle, but I hate it when people use this excuse one moment to get out of any physical effort, yet are then perfectly capable of robustly marching off and playing sports or whatever just moments later --- sounds like limp-rag syndrome to me.

limp-rag syndrome by QuacksO June 25, 2018