QuacksO's definitions

mezzzzage

Refers to a humorous voice-mail that you leave for a tolerant-natured friend who knows you very well, and thus is familiar with your complaining about feeling exhausted a lot of the time; you simply make long drawn-out snoring sounds when prompted to record your message. It painlessly informs the person that you are not really up to a whole lot of physical effort at the moment, but that he is welcome to try you back later to ask again about your possibly assisting him.

Answering machine message left by a physically-infirm friend who had previously left you a message requesting help with a few household tasks: Hey Snorey --- I got your mezzzzage; sorry I missed yer call. I see that you're not home at the moment, either; guess we're kinda playin' telephone-tag here. Nuthin' earth-shakin' --- just wanted to humbly ask if you could please lend me a hand with a little dusting and yardwork, and see if maybe you could use some of your scrap lumber to build me a small set of steps for my storage-shed out back. No rush whatsoever, though --- get some shut-eye and then give me a jingle back when ya feel up to it --- thanks!!

by QuacksO July 23, 2018

leg-hug

(1) Where you use yer legs to wrap around someone's waist in an affectionate cuddle; this is often done from behind, where you both are sitting on the floor. Extra points if you're barefoot at the time, since this not only eliminates the danger of your accidentally bruising your friend with hard shoe-soles, but it also allows him to tenderly fondle your toes in response to your loving gesture.
(2) Where you drape someone's legs over your shoulders and then wrap yer raised arms savoringly around his calves/thighs. This mutually-pleasurable action is often administered as a thank-you gesture to the person for his cuddling with you, letting you massage his feet/legs, etc.

I love how Tiffany allows me total access to her juicy real estate, and so I always give her a nice snuggly leg-hug afterwards.

by QuacksO July 23, 2018

zzzzfinger-interlacingzzzz

Refers to where your snugglebunny rolls over in bed and spoons you, then affectionately reaches his arm around over your shoulder and fumbles for your "lower" hand (i.e., the hand from the shoulder/arm that you're lying on, as opposed to your "upper" shoulder/arm that your hunny's arm is now draped over); you groggily respond to his "seeking touch" by absent-mindedly spreading open your hand and accommodatingly manipulating your fingers to entwine them with his, without really waking up much in the process. This action may likely need to be repeated multiple times during your slumber-period, since either one of you will occasionally be obliged to temporarily relinquish the comforting hand-clasp to scratch, re-arrange pillows/blankets, etc.

Tiffany is such a warm affectionate snuggler that I don't mind the dozen or so times each night that she wants me to perform "zzzzfinger-interlacingzzzz"; besides, she tells me that she sleeps more peacefully and has fewer bad dreams when she holds hands with me.

by QuacksO July 23, 2018

secret shopper

Refers to members of the less-affluent sector of mall-customers who merely wish to purchase regular groceries and/or household products in bulk, but who do not buy enough yearly volume to justify paying the exorbitant "membership fee" that the "big box" stores like Sam's Club charge. These limited-income folks therefore discreetly approach "enrolled" club-members who have either just arrived at the store or are currently pushing their carts around the aisles, and quietly ask them if they could please also purchase the merchandise that the indigent people want along with the items on their own shopping lists, and then afterwards they all meet back up outside in the parking lot where there are no prying eyes from the store's staff, and the grateful low-income families carefully go over the obliging club-members' store-receipts to total up the costs of the "additionally-purchased" items, and then reimburse the members for the appropriate amounts in cash.

Being a secret shopper can indeed be a great way to save on household-staple items; just watch out for Sam's Club chiselers, however.

by QuacksO July 23, 2018

piggyback-purchase

Refers to merchandise that you pick up for someone else while shopping for your own items, either because this other person is unable to travel to the store himself, or because he is not a paid member of the big-box outfit where his desired items are offered, and so he has asked you as a member to obtain the items for him at the warehouse's bulk-package discount.

I don't buy enough household consumables to justify the $89-per-year membership-fee that Sam's Club charges, so I just piggyback-purchase them through the large family down the street.

by QuacksO July 23, 2018

soh-shuh-buhl

A warmly-humorous "phonetic" way of spelling/saying the word "sociable"; it denotes a slightly bluff/cajoling "buddy-cuddly" way of "yankin' down da social barriers" and making someone feel immediately loved and welcome... "come along an' join da fun --- we're all one big happy family!"

City-raised teenager whose family has recently moved to a semi-rural area: I felt a bit awkward and outta place having my jovial new neighborhood-pal trot me around wif him during an entire "typical teenager's weekend-activities" day and welcomingly include me in all of his assorted ventures 'n' escapades --- visiting his friends and shooting a few hoops with them, popping in on neighbors' boisterous backyard-barbecues, looking up a few things at the library, joking around with the staff at the hardware store, hugging/high-fiving/wrist-wrestling the cute freckle-faced chicks whom we met around town, and so on... he kept his arm firmly hooked through mine wherever we went and always included me in any group-hugs/sandwich-snuggles that he engaged in wif others, and so again I felt kinda bowled over with everything at first. But I soon realized that my new friend was merely being totally soh-shuh-buhl and making absolutely sure that I never felt "left out", and so eventually I got used to it and actually rather enjoyed it... not exactly how we do stuff in da big city, but heck --- what do I know??

by QuacksO July 24, 2018

incrimintal

Refers to where someone gradually "progresses down the slippery slope" into more and more unlawful (i.e., "criminal") behavior.

A lot of the more-serious legal-offenders started out with just petty-small stuff like throwing eggs or snitching a roll of Life-Savers at a drug store, but then they incrimintally progressed downhill from there until they were doing "heavier" stuff like joy-riding or smashing mailboxes.

by QuacksO July 24, 2018