Definitions by QuacksO
Leggo my Eggos
What you hafta say several (dozen!) times a day to yer main **squeeze** because he's always wanting to **squeeze theeze**. Extra points if your "eggos" can equally refer to either your front or your rear pair of "fun bubbles" whenever you ask your guy to keep his paws off da merchandise --- in other words, that he finds yer butt-cheeks to be just as attractively-desirable and deliciously-satisfying to fill his hands with as yer chest-pillows.
Well-endowed cutie: I bought my b/f a pair of boob-shape stress-relief balls so that I wouldn't hafta keep asking him to "Leggo my Eggos" twenty or thirty times a day... I know how much he loves my boobs and I realize that they're soft and warm and delightfully squeezable, but he already has our evening/nighttime lovemaking-sessions to play with them all he wants, and so I would really prefer to be able to get my housework and other chores done without having to pause every fifteen minutes for a misty-eyed chest-kneading.
Leggo my Eggos by QuacksO August 10, 2018
card tricks
Refers to the assordid "magic" that a moocher plays on an unsuspecting victim using financial-instrument cards of some sort, and then "pulls a disappearing act" afterwards.
One of the most common moocher's card tricks is to show your "mark" a cash/debit card beforehand, and claim that it has sufficient funds loaded onto it to cover whatever expenses you're going to rack up, but then you either "forget" the card's PIN number or "discover" that the card has either been cancelled of has insufficient funds on it to cover your shopping bill or the gas-money for the ride that your "mark" gave you.
card tricks by QuacksO August 9, 2018
It's pursonal
A much-overused phrase that a mooching lady blows you off with when you ask her reason for requesting money from you. The intended purpose of her flippantly-ambiguous reply is to falsely imply to you that she needs said funds for "feminine issue" medicinal products, assisting family/friends with private-matter conundrums, etc., when in reality she merely wants to "fatten her PURSE" so that she can make frivolous/unhealthy expenditures which she knows that you as a prudent budgeter would never give her money for.
If a lady truly cares about you and has any sense of responsible budgeting, she should be willing to reveal what she wants to do with any money she asks you for, rather than just snapping, "It's pursonal". It's YOUR MONEY, so you have a right to know how it's being spent.
It's pursonal by QuacksO August 9, 2018
tar 'n' feather
Refers to either:
(1) The correct way to pave a road (i.e., to evenly spread/roll asphalt and then neatly angle-smooth the edges)
(2) What "they" will do to you is you do a sorry-a** job of said paving.
(1) The correct way to pave a road (i.e., to evenly spread/roll asphalt and then neatly angle-smooth the edges)
(2) What "they" will do to you is you do a sorry-a** job of said paving.
D.O.T. foreman: The citizens in this area are really touchy about having their hard-won tax-dollars used for re-surfacing their main street, so I'd better see that my crew does a good job of it if we don't want them to tar 'n' feather us afterwards.
tar 'n' feather by QuacksO August 9, 2018
character ass-sass-ination
Refers to publicly-voiced derisive/uncomplimentary remarks/details ("sass") made about someone regarding his less-than-perfect-looking posterior ("ass").
(a prime example of character ass-sass-ination, from an old "Blondie" cartoon) Mrs. Dithers: In my younger days, I had quite a following.
Mr. Dithers: And she still does, heh, heh, heh... (cheekily placing his hand beside his mouth as if to prevent his wife from hearing his "aside" remark) ...but her dress-maker keeps it well-hidden!
Dagwood (staring down at Mr. Dithers' prostrate figure that's sprawled untidily on the floor as his irately-unamused wife stomps off in a huff): Do you see stars, Boss?
Mr. Dithers: Stars?!?? I can see the entire AURORA BOREALIS!!!
Mr. Dithers: And she still does, heh, heh, heh... (cheekily placing his hand beside his mouth as if to prevent his wife from hearing his "aside" remark) ...but her dress-maker keeps it well-hidden!
Dagwood (staring down at Mr. Dithers' prostrate figure that's sprawled untidily on the floor as his irately-unamused wife stomps off in a huff): Do you see stars, Boss?
Mr. Dithers: Stars?!?? I can see the entire AURORA BOREALIS!!!
character ass-sass-ination by QuacksO August 9, 2018
gain the upper hand
Where you are able to happily grasp and retain a nice gal's "upper" hand --- i.e., the one opposite to her "lower" hand from the shoulder that she's lying on --- while stretched out on your sides at the beach or spooning her in bed.
Being allowed to gain the upper hand while spooning with a nice girl is always a pleasure; just remember to always employ the wrist-twist compromise to ensure maximum comfort for both of you.
gain the upper hand by QuacksO August 9, 2018