Definitions by QuacksO
hisstory
Refers to the detailed "set of lies agreed upon" timeline of the slithery/scaly/legless sector of the world's reptilian population.
Bill Haast holds a Guinness world record as the only human in hisstory to survive a staggering number of venomous-snake bites (well over 170!). Plus he lived to be 100... go figger. Maybe snake venom can actually prolong life when administered under the properly-controlled conditions, just like bee stings can cure certain illnesses that "standard" medicine can't treat effectively.
backfire-poop
Refers to where you are unknowingly expelling a "separated pair" of stumpy poop-logs (rather than just a "standard" one-piece turd of considerable length) with a sizable "gap" of pressurized methane in between them; the result is an explosive whooshy bang partway though the dump that echoes hollowly in the toilet-bowl and is amplified/intensified by said bowl, just like the sounding-board of a drum or stringed instrument.
A backfire-poop can be highly embarrassing for the pooper if others are within earshot at the time. Some guys, however, are actually proud of making these "impressive" anal indiscretions, since it proves that they only produce "manly-sized" turds which "seal in the combustion", with no blow-by from a minuscule-diameter poop-log's allowing the gas to wastefully/splutteringly seep past the emerging turd in a much-less-spectacular noise-display.
backfire-poop by QuacksO September 28, 2018
generous with his sausage, but stingy with his bacon
Sarcastic term used by a lady for a guy with a major case of "one-sided willingness" --- da dude is always ready and eager to "open his zipper" (i.e., whip out his "sausage") anytime, but never seems all that motivated to "open his WALLET" (i.e., "share his bacon") to help you out financially, even with just basic stuff like groceries of household/repair materials.
Cool chick: So what's your new boyfriend like?
Hip girl: Oh, just yer typical pig --- generous with his sausage, but stingy with his bacon!
Hip girl: Oh, just yer typical pig --- generous with his sausage, but stingy with his bacon!
generous with his sausage, but stingy with his bacon by QuacksO September 28, 2018
"castle in the air" vacation cottage
Or "castle in the air" hunting camp --- same diff. Refers to a much-hyped "back to nature" dwelling that turns out to be just a crude cramped tumble-down shack with no modern facilities.
Disgusted office-worker who was greatly in need of a little good ol'-fashioned R&R: That no-good shyster of a realtor gave me a glowing song-and-dance description of this backwoods cabin on the lake --- described it as a "castle in the air" vacation cottage, and claimed it had "electric lights, running water, and stained-glass windows". Turned out to merely be a shabby musty hovel hardly bigger than an outhouse, with absolutely no amenities whatsoever --- the "electric lights" turned out to be just a couple of small LED battery-lamps hanging from the ceiling (which I ended up having to buy fresh batteries for, by the way!), and the "running water" translated into merely a plastic bucket that you would pick up and "run" down to the lake, fill the pail with water (what am I --- Jack and Jill?!), and then "run" back up to the cabin again! And come to find out that the "stained glass" in the windows was nothing more than just the disgusting filmy MOLD-STAINS on the panes from the damp closed-up-for-months interior of the cabin! What a rip-off!
"castle in the air" vacation cottage by QuacksO September 26, 2018
squallid
Sarcastic term for the conditions --- no matter how lovely and fine --- as viewed by a spoiled bratty tearfully-howling toddler.
Howlloween
An infamous holiday at the end of October where people either get howling drunk or have howling adventures trying to scare each other.
Howlloween by QuacksO September 24, 2018
two-for-one special
Refers to da delightful situation where ya go to visit one nice in-her-late-teens chick, and she happens to have her best friend --- another hot sweet-natured teenage damsel --- over for a visit, and so ya get TWO pretty girls to hold hands with.
I usually try to visit my cutie-pie lady-friends in the afternoon or evening, since that's often when they will have one or two other equally-delightful blinky-eyed chicks over to hang out, and so I get a two-for-one special --- TWO soft warm hands to clasp or press against my cheeks, and TWO sweet smiling faces beaming shyly at me.
two-for-one special by QuacksO September 23, 2018