QuacksO's definitions

gnomenclature

Words and phrases specifically chosen/created to refer to bearded dwarfs wif pointed hats.

I couldn't understand da poorly-worded instruction-manual dat came wif my lawn-ornament elf, but fortunately it was a "simple 'n' straightforward" matter to merely place said colorful plaster statue in my desired locale, and so I really didn't need to trouble myself trying to decipher said cryptic gnomenclature.

by QuacksO November 14, 2023

arkitect

Someone skilled at designing large wooden boats.

Noah was supposedly the one who built the famous huge flood-resistant vessel, but according to the hilariously-naive Gracie Allen, Joan of Arc was the real arkitect: "Oh, c'mon, George --- us women have always been the true pioneers in the world! WE did all of the greatest achievements, not you men! Why, did Joan of Arc hesitate? No! She got busy and built it!"
George Burns: "Built what?"
Gracie Allen: "The Ark!"
George Burns: "Gracie, the Ark was built by a **man**, remember? Noah?"
Gracie Allen: "How could I 'noah'? Shes been deceased for 500 years!"

by QuacksO April 1, 2020

just clawse

What a cat needs to have before it may legally scratch you. (Garfield take note --- none of your "provocations" for leaving Jon a tattered bloody mess would have held up in court... in every single case, you were just being selfish, overbearing, or hot-tempered.)

I was cradling the neighbor's cat in my lap and petting him gently, and he seemed totally happy and content... unmoving, purring, the whole nine yards. Then without warning, he suddenly exploded upwards with an angry yowl and forcibly propelled himself off my lap and onto the floor, giving my thighs several deep nasty digs in the process! Talk about a total lack of just clawse... if he was starting to get stir-crazy, he could have merely squirmed and mewed a little, and I'd have immediately let him down --- no need to to "break out da ol' samurai swords"!!

by QuacksO November 23, 2018

scullduggery

Less-than-honorable behavior regarding the paddling of a boat.

Races of canoes or rowboats are notorious for scullduggery; one of the most common subterfuges is to conceal an outboard motor on the boat to make it go faster. Be sure to bring along a noisy boombox to help cover the tell-tale "putt-putt" sounds, though, unless you use a souped-up electric trolling-motor that runs virtually silent.

by QuacksO September 25, 2019

barker-brigade

Refers to the infuriating/humiliating "auditory chain-reaction" that often occurs with all da neighborhood dogs... you merely walk by one house with a dog tethered out front, and he starts barking at you, then the dogs next door --- even if they're locked inside the house --- hear him and start yappin', too, and then the hound at the property next to that one starts howling, and so on and so on and so on... pretty soon all da canines within a half-mile radius are barkin' fit to bust, when whatever the first dog was barking at isn't even anywhere near those other dogs' vicinity.

I try to scavenge for returnables only during the mid-to-late daylight hours, so that the resulting barker-brigade in the roadside homes will create a minimum of "the dogs woke me up!" aggravation.

by QuacksO July 9, 2018

pinkie-hook

How you hold hands wif a nice gal when it's too hot to "fully" clasp hands.

Tiffany and I crave da "lovin' touch" at all times whenever we spend time together, but we were about expiring from da heat during our stroll along da hot beach, so we employed da pinkie-hook to maintain a pleasant physical connection without our palms getting all damp and yucky.

by QuacksO August 27, 2018

lemontations

Decidedly acid-tongued or "sour" verbal moanings regarding something dat displeases da speaker.

I tried my hand at baking a meringue pie, and it came out okay, although when I tasted it afterwards, I realized to my chagrin dat I'd left out da key "tartness" ingredient --- you shoulda heard my disgusted lemontations in DAT regard! :P

by QuacksO May 20, 2022