QuacksO's definitions

Alphabet Rambo

A 26-part "learning made fun and easy" kiddie-video series, hosted by everyone's favorite rebellious Marine. Examples include:
ARambo: John shows us assorted military long-guns.
BRAmbo" John advises "budding" girls on choosing the right undergarment.
CRAMbo: John studies hard for an upcoming exam.

The "Alphabet Rambo" collection also comprises the following highly-entertaining episodes:
DRAMbo: John discusses small-volume measurements used by the corner druggist.
ERAmbo: John reminisces about various periods in social culture.
FRAMbo: John changes the oil in his car
GRAMbo: Special guest-appearance of John's "Big Ma".
HRambo: John discusses the importance of networking.
IRAmbo. John discusses saving for the long term.
JRambo: Special guest-appearance of John's son.
KRAMbo: "Heavy duty" version of Episode #3.
LRambo: John shows which hand is which.
MRambo: John discusses masculinity.
NRAmbo: John discusses his firearms-organization membership.
ORambo: John discusses choices and alternatives.
PRambo: John discusses the importance of a good reputation.
QRambo: John shows us various bar-codes.
RRambo: John takes us track-side to show us locomotives and cars, plus the awesome equipment used in running and maintaining trains.
SRambo: Special guest-appearance of John's father.
TRAMbo: John takes us along on a ride in a cable-car up a mountainside.
URAmbo: John tells us about the Urban Redevelopment Authority.
VRambo: John demonstrates 3-D video imagery.
WRambo: John shows how letters are sometimes silent.
XRAMbo: .sweiv laicos laisrevortnoc sih dna lraK suomafni eht sessucsid nhoJ
YRAMbo: .“neeuq noitucexe” yrutnec-ht61 suoiroton eht sessucsid nhoJ
ZRAMbo: .yrewerb ogacihC a fo ruot a no su sekat nhoJ

by QuacksO December 4, 2018

constubble

A member of da "prim-'n'-proper police" who goes sniffing around to make sure dat every dude in da precinct has shaved his face smooth.

I went to da Seashore Trolley Museum in Kennebunkport, Maine one day without bothering to "mow da lawn", figgering dat said establishment is such an informal place dat nobody would mind or even notice all dat much if I had a slightly whiskery chin. And sure enough, not only did I receive no disapproving frowns or stares from da staffpeople, but I was highly amused --- and relieved --- to observe dat every single father in da various families of young children who were also touring da museum and riding on da streetcars ALSO had a day-old, so obviously there were indeed no constubbles roaming around to wag their disapproving fingers at anyone.

by QuacksO February 15, 2023

moatorboat

A propeller-driven water-buffer-crossing craft dat da "king of da castle" hopes any "unwanted visitors" do not possess.

"Moatorboats" didn't actually exist during da pre-modern-day times of King Arthur and Sir Galahad; back then, they'd have been powered just by oars or sails.

by QuacksO August 15, 2025

ellagible

Entitled to something due to your first name's being "Ella".

Why should merely what your first name is be a deciding factor on whether you're ellagible for some benefit or status --- shouldn't ANY woman in similar circumstances be given said allowance or privilege?

by QuacksO January 17, 2025

ellusion

Da incorrect view dat someone or something is always trying to remain distant or invisible.

If you're out on a sightseeing trip, and it appears dat everyone and everything is perpetually trying to stay far away from you for no apparent reason, it's probably just an ellusion --- most likely you're merely got your binoculars turned around backwards, and so you're looking through them da wrong way.

by QuacksO February 13, 2021

hallooseinations

Da ethereal images dat you erroneously think you're seeing while taking a diarrhea-crap on da toilet.

I try not to visualize prunes or Epsom salts while taking a "liquid dump", since having laxatives in my consciousness just causes worse hallooseinations.

by QuacksO December 31, 2020

alphabetical investigations

BINvestigation: Where a person or animal paws through your storage-containers
DINvestigation: Finding out what all da hubbub was about
FINvestigation: What a game warden performs on anglers after a day of casting their poles and/or nets
GINvestigation: Can refer to either (1) a sobriety check, or (2) detective work regarding suspicion/reports of booze-smuggling
KINvestigation: Research to either determine who da deadbeat dad is, or locate relatives in an estate-settlement kerfuffle
PINvestigation: Squinting around to find out who either (1) left da thumbtack on da teacher's chair, or (2) who used someone's debit card without permission
SINvestigation: What a priest performs if da confessions-booth doesn't adequately do da trick
TINvestigation: Gumshoe work to see who used crappy-a** sheet-metal for a construction/repair job
VINvestigation: Checking up on da bar-code-type digits on a car's front deck
WINvestigation: What Al Gore wanted performed during da infamous "hanging chad" debacle wif da Y2K voting-cards
YINvestigation: Researching for da first half of da classic Chinese equation

If you enjoy detective work, immersing yourself in da dozen-or-so types of alphabetical investigations should keep ya occupied for a while.

by QuacksO December 10, 2022