Definitions by QuacksO
empty carrots-bag on a stick
Derisive term for a situation where a chronic moocher tries to temptingly persuade you to "just give him one very last loan" supposedly in order to enable him to accomplish whatever he needs to do in order to become able to finally pay you back all that he owes you --- and possibly a bit extra as a gratitude gesture --- in one lump sum. The idea is that he still does not even possess a real "carrot" --- i.e., any actual cold hard cash --- to offer you, but he is merely offering you the empty-talk promise of a "whole bag or carrots" --- i.e., a large one-time payment-amount that is far greater than any of the individual loans you have given him so far -- if you continue to bust your a** on his behalf. And of course, this assertion, too, is itself usually just another worthless promise, similar to all the other times when said handout-seeker has come bawling and blubbering to you for financial assistance in the past.
The local preacher tried to tell me that if I toil my butt off and live a life of strict propriety and chastity, **maybe** I will be given great rewards in Heaven. Sounds like a classic "empty carrots-bag on a stick" promise to me --- why should I suffer the agonies of an extra-hard and boring existence, especially when I am not even assured of any recognition or benefits for my efforts, anyway???
empty carrots-bag on a stick by QuacksO December 8, 2018
Just the FAX, Ma'am
What an officer or detective says to a distraught lady who is bringing him piles of assorted documents, when all he'd come for was a single facsimile-printer page that is significant to his investigation.
Retired P.I.: Years ago before the advent of the Internet and junk e-mails, I investigated countless instances of over-zealous companies' sending unrequested ads/newsletters to other businesses' printer/phone-combo machines, and so I was having to frequently say, "Just the FAX, Ma'am" when a distraught secretary would be almost-hysterically showing me all the voluminous sheafs of junk-mail that her office was receiving every day.
Just the FAX, Ma'am by QuacksO December 7, 2018
dispiciple
Tronald Dump seems to think he is God; I wonder how many dispiciples he has who actually agree with him.
dispiciple by QuacksO December 7, 2018
BTU-saving entry/exit
Refers to a K1-saving action that you take during colder weather, and consists of rapidly opening the front door of a home/business only as far as you need to in order to quickly slither through, and hastily slapping the door shut again to minimize heat-escape.
Small barber-shop owner: Most of my customers don't seem to realize that it really costs me a pretty penny to heat my place of business... they leisurely take their sweet old time to amble in and out, and just let the door gradually close on its own. A few thoughtful/aware folks, though, do diligently employ the "BTU-saving entry/exit" procedure when passing through my door, and I really appreciate that.
BTU-saving entry/exit by QuacksO December 7, 2018
The Lord giveth; his dispiciples taketh away
Refers to the USDA's pathetic practice of reducing your Food Stamps allotment whenever Social Security increases your SSI check due to a cost-of-living increase, largely negating any benefit that your additional food-allotment amount would have gained you.
Zheeesh, if Big Brother actually feels that you need more money to cover basic expenses each month, then basic logic and common sense would state that your SNAP benefits should INCREASE, as well, not be REDUCED!! Sounds like a classic case of "The Lord giveth; his dispiciples taketh away"!
The Lord giveth; his dispiciples taketh away by QuacksO December 7, 2018
ambevelent
With the innumerable and conflicting advisories on what the ideal blade-edge is and how to achieve said results, it's hard not to be at least somewhat ambevelent on the subject.
ambevelent by QuacksO December 5, 2018