QuacksO's definitions

rumspringer

An Amish "rite of passage" period whereby teenagers are permitted to indulge in certain "wild 'n' free" actions of "them English" --- such as "guzzling da Gordon's" and watching fake-fight scenes on TV --- in order to experience life outside of their communities and thus be better able to decide whether they want to continue with their insipidly-boring and oppressively-strict religion-steeped Amish ways, or live like da normal public does.

Somehow, da whole idea behind rumspringer seems like a very destructive and unwise idea... rather than Amish parents' allowing their children to totally "whoop it up big-time" --- and partake of unhealthy/dangerous activities dat could likely harm and/or negatively influence them permanently --- on just dat one glorious debauched-freedom-steeped period of their lives, why not instead merely "ease off a bit" on some of da most oppressive rules, and therefore simply let their children have a slightly-more-pleasant existence for da ENTIRE REST OF THEIR LIVES??? Da old adage, "Don't spend it all in one place!" comes to mind here --- kind of like if someone wastefully squanders his entire disability-check in just da first few days of da month ("Oh, boy --- PARTY TIME!!!) and then has nothing left to use over da entire remainder of da month, and thus has to just miserably sit around and mope in dissatisfied dejection for nearly four weeks till his next "helping of lifeblood" is released to him! Why not instead just carefully dole out said precious limited funds-allotment a little at a time over da entire month, so dat he will have enough for everything he needs?

by QuacksO February 12, 2023

agreedgious

Excessively difficult merely due to someone else's wanting more than his share.

Gluttonous children often don't realize how agreedgious it is for grownups to hafta cook more food just to satisfy their voracious appetites.

by QuacksO February 20, 2024

Department of the Deterior

A b**ls**t US-government branch that is responsible for the eroding of our infrastructure and negatively impacting the lives of its citizens in general.

Ever since "The Donald" came to power, most of the government branches have largely "jumped the fence" and consolidated themselves into one huge Department of the Deterior!

by QuacksO August 10, 2018

alibris

An "I couldn't have been the culprit because I was elsewhere" narrative dat you give da cops, saying dat you were at a house of learning at da time when da crime dat they're investigating happened.

Da term "alibris" can also refer to a tale of innocence dat you give da staff at a book store or reading room when they ask you about a book dat has not been paid for, signed out, or returned.

by QuacksO November 27, 2023

alphabetical easements

Assorted "from A to Z" relief-from-standard-requirements allowances, such as:
beesement: Where someone else volunteers to "get a buzz" managing da apiary so dat you can clear yer head for a while
breezement: Where you are allowed to either "fart proudly" or avoid "having yer cheek visited too roughly" by passing air-currents
ceasement: Not having to stop something you enjoy
cheesement: Being allowed to eat softer milk-curd solids instead of firmer-textured selections like Swiss or cheddar
Cleesement: Not having to sit in on a group-viewing of "Fawlty Towers" re-runs
creasement: Not having people fuss if yer clothes aren't ironed
Creesement: Where you are free to treat all Native-American tribes da same way
feesement: Having a service-charge waived
freezement: Not making you shiver yer a** off working outdoors in colder weather
geesement: Not having to deal wif all those annoying big white "honkers" in da farmyard
geezement: Fellow humans' refraining from expressing displeasure about your faults
greasement: Having someone else operate da lubing-gun
jeezement: Same deal as two definitions back
keysement: Not having to DIDDLE wif those FIDDLY little brass lock-opener devices, like if your ride uses a wireless remote
kneesement: What those squishy-foam mats or padded strap-on cups allow yer leg-joints when squatting on hard/rough surfaces
leasement: Not having to sign an agreement to use a dwelling or property
leesement: Being allowed "safe harbor"

More alphabetical easements:
measement: Not having to just think of others all da time
niecement: Not having to deal wif yer kid-brother's bratty pigtailed ankle-biter
peasement: Not having to either shell sphere-shaped veggies or eat yucky cereal
pleasement: Not having to either kowtow to others or speak super-politely
queasement: Being given a rest-break 'cuz you're feeling "rumbly in yer tumbly"
Reesement: Being given an orange-wrapped candy bar to munch on
seesement: Not having to either keep yer eyes open or remember/report what you observe
seizement: Either having others keep their grabby hands off'n you, or having Loctite LB 8150 applied to metal parts
sleazement: Freedom from "shady" dealings
Smeesement: What Peter Pan got whenever Captain Hook's right-hand man was absent
sneezement: What cold-and-flu remedies hopefully will provide
spreesement: Relief from a noticeable uptick in something
squeezement: Not having to be subjected to a hardship or bear-hug
teasement: Having others either respect your feelings or not serve you disgusting herbal-brew
teesement: Not having to play golf, wear undershirts, or cross a certain letter of da alphabet
threesement: Being allowed to just deal wif either two-or-less or four-or-more items
treesement: Not having to deal wif large/tall plants
tweezement: Being allowed to leave your lashes/brows as they grow naturally
wheezement: What Pat McManus gains from following da MFFFF.
zeesement: Being allowed some shut-eye

by QuacksO June 15, 2024

distrawt

How you feel from experiencing a deeply-upsetting event regarding dried grass-stalks, such as getting prickly bits all through your clothing after playfully rolling in it, being bombarded by loose swirling clouds of it during a windstorm, having to rake/sweep up mountains of it during your farm-chores, etc.

A classic example of being "distrawt" is if you've been secretly rendezvousing with a cute farmer's daughter, and her "paw" catches you two having a gleeful bouncy-bouncy in da barn-loft.

by QuacksO October 12, 2023

damming evidence

Irrefutable proof that beavers have been busy at the roadside culvert or drainage-ditch.

D.O.T. worker: A huge mass of sticks and logs beside the bridge that crosses a brook is all the damming evidence I need that Eager and his flat-tailed buddies have been at it again.

by QuacksO February 28, 2019