Definitions by QuacksO
pre-road-trip walk
A prudent no-financial-cost-to-you "hoofin' it" journey that you take to a certain location prior to driving there in your fuel-sucking auto-bubble, to actually "see for yourself" if whatever conditions/circumstances that someone of questionable integrity told you about really are the case, or if you'd just be going on a wild goose chase and merely consuming your costly gas for nothing.
I always perform a pre-road-trip walk (or I'll bike or hitch-hike or otherwise find a way to travel there "for free") to a stated destination whenever one of da local riff-raff requests me to drive there --- too many times in da past I've merely wasted an hour and used several gallons of expensive gasoline, only to discover that the shallow-minded idiot who'd asked me to "go and help" wasn't even "for real", and so either (1) there was nobody and/or nothing whatsoever at the place I'd been requested to drive to, or (2) someone else entirely --- and who usually was someone whom I had expressly said I would never assist anymore due to his outrageously-inapprorpate treatment of me in the past --- was there to request my help instead of the "promised" more-desirable person or persons, or (3) whoever was there knew nothing about whatever matter that I'd been sent there to act on, and sometimes I even got in trouble for "trespassing" or otherwise "disturbing the peace".
pre-road-trip walk by QuacksO January 31, 2019
impaytience
While it's completely true that it is indeed unhealthy for everyone involved if someone cannot display a reasonable degree of calmness when having to postpone financial gain/reimbursement, the opposite "extreme" can also be used abusively, as well --- in other words, the person(s) responsible for doling out said greatly-desired funds to the aggravated-with-the-delay individual can invalidly identify the person's tearful foot-tapping as "impaytience", when in reality it HAS INDEED been an unreasonably-long period of time that said person has been waiting for his promised cash-reward, and so he could NOT reasonably have been expected to just placidly wait that long.
impaytience by QuacksO January 29, 2019
hymnorrhoids
I don't know how all the other church-singers can stand to rest their butts for so long on those "God-awful" lacquered-oak pew-benches without complaining --- I get a major case of hymnorrhoids inside five minutes!!
hymnorrhoids by QuacksO January 27, 2019
white-carpet treatment
That special "V.I.P." respect/honoring that you receive while strolling the beach with handfuls of tasty edibles, and have "accumulated" a whole undulating "ground-cover" of nibblets-seeking seagulls padding along behind you, watching for you to toss a morsel in their direction.
I always love getting the white-carpet treatment when I visit the seashore; I especially get a kick out of how each of the individual seagulls actually seems to be able to "distinguish" your gaze --- i.e., apparently each bird can actually discern if you are looking directly at him to indicate that he's been "chosen" to be fed next --- and so even a gull from the middle or back of the "carpet" of feather-brains will obligingly stretch out his beak and "open up wide", even before you toss the tidbit to him.
white-carpet treatment by QuacksO January 25, 2019
hipnotherapy
A health-improvement regimen of questionable value/effectiveness; it entails having the "sufferer" lean his hip against the "practitioner" to help support himself in a standing position.
You wanna really watch out for anyone who asks you to let him practice "hipnotherapy" with you --- most likely he is not really ailing, but just wants to lean on you in order to selfishly lessen his own "burden" of merely standing on his own two feet. This "treatment" is appropriately names in most cases... it involves using your "hip" to lean against someone else, and is in reality "no therapy" at all!
hipnotherapy by QuacksO January 24, 2019