QuacksO's definitions

row versus wade

The infamous and hotly-debated controversy over shallow-water navigational methods which pitted the skiff/dinghy dealers against the hip-boot manufacturers. On the one hand, it is indeed simpler and easier to paddle ("row") a punt around the shoreline as opposed to slogging heavily ("wading") through the mud, but the boat tends to scrape bottom whenever there's anyone sitting in it. This dilemma was further exacerbated back in the mid-20th century with the advent of the notoriously-unreliable Sears&Rowback outboard motor, which often necessitated both paddling AND squish-squooshing over pebbly jagged-seashell-flecked muck to return to the dock from whence you came.

The U.S. Supreme Court was obliged to delay judgement on the "row versus wade" debate pending further developments; they promised to rule on the case once humans gained control over tidal movements.

by QuacksO August 9, 2018

Avonymous

A disgustedly-sarcastic reference to a door-to-door salesman who never actually reveals his real name or what outfit he works for because he does not want to be sued for harassment or misrepresentation of his products' quality/effectiveness --- think, the salesman at Dagwood's door who solemnly proclaims, "If I am lying about this product, may lightning stroke me down!", but then shakily confides to the audience in an aside, "Every time I say that, it could be my last."

I am so sick of all these visits from Miss Avonymous --- what recourse do I have if her skin-care products don't turn out to so good as she claims, if she won't give me any info about herself or the company she represents??

by QuacksO March 21, 2017

characterwristics

Features and measurements of the hand-and-forearm area.

Having attractive characterwristics could allow you to land a job modelling elegant bracelets and watches.

by QuacksO November 20, 2021

impunitty

Refers to da legal-status condition whereby da court won't penalize you for yer transgressions as long as you tell da truth in basic and complete detail.

Ollie North asked for testimonial "impunitty" during da Iran-Contra affair --- i.e., he wanted da court to agree not to prosecute him no matter what crimes he admitted to in court, and he would back up his request by threatening to reveal "da intimate basics" of da U.S. government's shady dealings if said condition was not met.

by QuacksO May 8, 2025

alternative affection

Less-common but equally-loving gestures to express warm feelings for someone, such as a leg-hug or giving him a back-rub wif yer soles and/or scratching his back wif yer toe-nails.

A few other somewhat-loopy but totally-satisfying alternative affection gestures would be an over-da-shoulder high-five (where ya both stand wif your backs together and reach yer hands back over yer shoulders to slap palms wif each other), toe-hugs (where ya flex yer toes downwards to hug da other person's toes), and toe-hugging his pinkie by nestling his finger underneath yer toes and then curling yer toes tightly around his finger. These latter two gestures are especially heavenly for a dude wif a foot-fetish, and will often produce a massive hard-on that you can then either blow or "ride" immediately.

by QuacksO August 4, 2018

merchandice

Gambling-related items for sale.

I assiduously maintain a sensible lifestyle, and totally shun any and all vices, so I never purchase any merchandice.

by QuacksO November 28, 2021

resipient

Da thirsty individual to whom you give a cool refreshing drink.

This word is not reserved for liquid-imbibers on hot days, either --- you'll have grateful resipients on a frosty morning, as well, when you bring them cups of steaming coffee or cocoa!

by QuacksO January 15, 2023