QuacksO's definitions

laffidavit

1. A statement of fact penned by a clown.
2. A statement of fact that is so absurd or sloppily-worded that you would get guffawed out of court if you presented it as evidence.

Norm Snively tried to present his ownership papers in court as evidence of his legal right to Air Bud, but thanks to Snively's spectacular dunking in the lake, said documents were nothing but tiny blobs of wet paper in a plastic bag, causing the judge to rule the inadmissible paper-mâché mess to be nothing but a laffidavit.

by QuacksO November 24, 2019

philaundering

Refers to one of two despicable actions regarding illicit affairs:
(1) taking steps to make said dallying --- or an unexpected "result"; i.e. one or more offspring --- seem proper and correct, or

(2) indulging in a little nooky-wooky with one or more fellow customers in a room full of coin-operated Maytags, Whirlpools, and Speed Queens.

If you accidentally conceive a child by "doing it" while "doing" your wash, you may need to enlist someone with savvy diplomacy to perform a little philaundering for you, and thus avoid a public scandal.

by QuacksO January 30, 2023

Morel Majority

An elitist "goodie-two-shoes" group of Bible-thumpers who also enjoyed chowing down on wild mushrooms.

Da Morel Majority was made up of mindless "America, apple pie, and baseball" sheeple who thought dat tree-fungus was a "food of da Great One".

by QuacksO August 18, 2025

Only trees should wear wood

The tree-hugger's equivalent of the endangered-animal-species advocate's "only elephants should wear ivory" saying. Hear, hear!

Nowadays there are plenty of "alternative" materials we can use instead of pulp-fiber in the production of lumber, paper, etc.... only trees should wear wood; we need them --- along with the plankton in the ocean --- for creating our planet's oxygen.

by QuacksO November 17, 2018

WhyMCA

A popular song from "da good ol' days" about a singer's friends asking him his reasoning behind signing on with the Music Corporation of America for producing his music-albums, instead of other record-companies like Sony, Philips, Decca, etc.

I am really puzzled as to why my favorite band didn't take BMG up on its much-better contract-offer for releasing their music... if I even get to meet the group in person, one of the first things I'd ask them would be, "WhyMCA?"

by QuacksO September 2, 2018

homieopathy

Spending time wif one or more of your local chums in order to ease your cravings for a large crowd of friendly folks.

If yer trying to cure yourself of going to bingo, homieopathy might be a suitable regimen, since da company of all da other players is one major reason dat a lot of people find da game appealing, not merely da prospect of wining a sizeable "pot".

by QuacksO August 23, 2025

huberis

Excessive pride or self-confidence dat causes you to think dat you can win da 1982 Maine goobernatorial --- I mean, I mean --- GUBERnatorial --- election.

Anybody who displayed da huberis to think dat she could actually win da governor's seat over da popular Joseph Brennan must have had at least one glass of "sherry" beforehand.

by QuacksO August 20, 2025