QuacksO's definitions

financial dentist

Refers to someone who provides a low-income person with the most ideal and reasonable/healthy type of monetary assistance --- he simply "fills in the gaps" in the indigent person's financial life, such as purchasing economy-grade groceries, buying a few separate tools (extra points if the person requests/accepts used tools from a thrift store or yard sale) to replace broken/worn/missing ones in the person's toolbox, providing maintenance/repair materials to fix/upgrade things around the person's house, and so on.

Financially-solvent dude: I really appreciate how Tiffany only asks me to be a financial dentist for her, rather than expecting me to buy her everything under the sun. Plus not only does she never try to pressure me to go along on any of her boring mall-shopping trips, but she also always cuddles up with me while I'm browsing Amazon/E-Bay to locate the lowest price on the occasional replacement item or tape/disc that she wants, and accompanies me hand-in-hand to Goodwill or the local pawn-shops/thrift-stores whenever I go scrounging for bargains on the few simple household/recreational items that she does ask me for... her warm-hearted gratitude-filled companionship during these somewhat-tedious endeavors is an welcome bonus all on its own, of course, but her always being at my side also means that she's right there to actually observe and inspect each of the items that I'm thinking of choosing for her, and so she can more easily/reliably determine if the item I'm looking at is indeed the best choice to fulfill her needs.

by QuacksO August 15, 2017

reverse-contraband

The opposite of contraband (desirable/valuable items which you do not own but wish to possess), this term refers to decidedly UNdesirable/useless items (heaps of trash, bald tires, hideous-looking/sloppy-fitting clothing, etc.) which ARE indeed legally yours, but which you strongly wish to get rid of.

I got busted for "non-possession of reverse-contraband" when I was attempting to dispose of a truckload of moldy mattresses by throwing them into a ravine.

by QuacksO August 21, 2017

courtesy delay

Refers to any pause or temporary postponement of a minor action (speaking, standing up or shifting your position while seated or in bed, switching on/off a light or music device, performing a "noisy" task like moving furniture or operating a motorized household device, etc.) that a thoughtful considerate individual performs (often with a moderate taxing of his own patience/bodily comfort) so as to avoid/minimize the startling/distressing impact of said action on one or more other nearby humans, such as a slumbering partner who is super-exhausted and/or is in a lot of pain or other acute bodily discomfort that he feels whenever he's awake, and thus the only time he has relief is when he's actually asleep.

Cool dude #1: Geez, buddy --- why da awkward limp and droopy shoulders?!?!???
Cool dude #2: (groaning in pain as he hobbles over to sit beside his friend to watch the ball game with him): Oh, just da classic "courtesy delay" woes, pal... I was sitting cross-legged on the grass with my girlfriend, and she had fallen asleep with her head in my lap... I knew she'd been up since 3 a.m. to help her mom care for her colicky baby brother, and so naturally, Mr. Soft-Hearted here couldn't bear to wake her up by changing position, and so I just hadda sit motionless on the cold hard ground with my muscles going numb and cramping up for half an hour till she finally came awake to turn over herself.

by QuacksO August 23, 2017

Iacocca Cola

The carbonated beverage of choice for Chrysler owners, especially those who favor semi-vintage vehicles produced during Lee's period as "top dog", comprising the late 70's through the early 90's.

Good ol' L.I. is really gettin' up in years now... I wonder if they'll keep bottling the tasty Iacocca Cola after he finally passes (think, the "fighting nun" toy fitted with Margaret Thatcher's doll-head that came out after she got ousted as P.M.; they stopped making the dolls since Maggie was no longer politically-popular, and created the fighting nun toy merely to utilize the untold thousands of doll-heads that they'd made in her likeness).

by QuacksO August 25, 2017

optical delusion

Something that is merely for show or aesthetic/cosmetic purposes only --- it simply makes something APPEAR better or more attractive, but it does not actually add to the strength/quality/usefulness of the person or object.

Excellent examples of optical delusion are paint, Bondo, fancy costumes, plastic surgery, etc... they may make something or someone LOOK really nice on the outside, but the cosmetically-altered subject is still the same decrepit undesirable underneath.

by QuacksO August 27, 2017

Leave it to Deaver

What Washington's crooked higher echelon said during the Raygun years when crafty good ol' boy "Devious Deaver" was Prune-Face's Deputy Chief of Staff, anytime they were a subject of investigation by Congress, they would always just trust "The Deav" to fib and waffle on their behalf.

Whenever ol' Ronnie's shifty-eyed administration officials came under scrutiny, they would just tell "The Deav" about the situation, and then assure each other, "No worries now --- we'll just leave it to Deaver to get us out of this mess."

by QuacksO August 27, 2017

built-in back-rub reimbursement

AKA "boobies", particularly if they're C-cup or larger. As we all know, a guy will grant 'most any ordinary request from a buxom gal while she's nestling her ample chest-pillows against him (especially if it's direct skin-to-skin contact), and so as long as she lovingly clasps him in her arms and "supplies" him with her soft warm comforting ta-tas pressed firmly against his chest as "payment" for his efforts, he'll keep massaging her back.

I sometimes get totally achy arms from giving Tiffany a three-quarter-hour-long back-rub, but how can I stop when she is continuously "recompensing" me for my services with her built-in back-rub reimbursement???

by QuacksO August 28, 2017