Used-vehicle-selling shysters of yore would fill da badly-worn gearboxes of old rattletraps with sawdust to temporarily quiet da chattering components so dat prospective buyers would think dat said almost-ready-to-fail transmissions were in better condition than they actually were. Of course, said granulated wood was merely a shimulator, though, as da hapless new owners of said unworthy scrap-heaps soon found out when da wobbly gears eventually jammed and broke in spectacular noisy fashion, and scattered chunks of metal all over da roadway behind them!
by QuacksO October 31, 2022
Get the shimulatormug. Auditory bee-ess.
In da classic "old fella wif da secretly-fitted hearing-aid" joke, said ancient codger's greedy nephews had thought dat da derogatory remarks which they were quietly making about him would literally "fall on deaf EARS", whereas da device's excellent amplification -'n'-clarification circuitry meant dat said verbal jabs weren't so "EARroneous" after all. :P
by QuacksO June 25, 2025
Get the earroneousmug. As absurd as what da slimmer member of "Da Boys" often says, it seems amazing dat any Stanographer could keep a straight face when recording said blithering/blubbering speech.
by QuacksO June 25, 2025
Get the Stanographermug. "Conceivably" --- pun not intended --- adolescents should practice prudent respawnsibility, but given their raging hormones and perpetual horniness, they often are found to be just copiously splashing their eggs and sperm all over da place!
by QuacksO July 23, 2025
Get the respawnsibilitymug. Refers to the embarrassing --- not mention messy --- end-result of groggily rolling over on your side at da edge of da bed to use your screw-top pee-jar without having to actually stand up, but then --- in an effort to ensure that you won't splash or spill any urine as you're taking your whiz, you unknowingly press da rim of da jar too firmly against yer abdomen and thus form a tight seal between da rim and yer gut, causing gradual pressure-buildup inside da jar as it fills with your pee, and eventually forces droplets of urine-mist to explosively splutter out from around the rim.
One simple way to reduce the chance of bedside vaporlock is to refrain from shaving yourself "down there", since smooth rubbery freshly-denuded skin always permits a much easier/better "vacuum seal" than if there are thick wiry bristly hairs in the way. Unlike your scalp-tresses or beard, pubic hair usually only gets so long and then simply falls out (think, those short coarse springy hair-curls that you always find in your briefs and in da shower-stall), so unless you have a jock-itch/odor problem or your romantic partner strongly prefers da Baldy from Baldymoore look, there should seldom if ever be a need to "mow da downstairs lawn".
by QuacksO November 22, 2018
Get the bedside vaporlockmug. Arrogantly figuring in your own oblivious/selfish mind that proceeding rapidly is okay, without asking others in your vicinity if said speedy travelling on your part would distress or otherwise inconvenience them.
Impatient motorists who recklessly dart in and out of traffic to more-quickly get where they are going sure are prezooming a lot --- oh, sure, THEY may save a few minutes in their commute-time, but what about all the other startled souls who have to slam on their brakes and get additional gray hairs as a result???
by QuacksO August 18, 2019
Get the prezoomingmug. Jokingly telling fellow adults dat, "At least we don't hafta shovel liquid water" may indeed make them feel better about a drearily-wet portion of da end/beginning-of-year season, but small children may not be over impressed or cheered by said statement, since they would much prefer to have snow dat dey could go out and play in.
by QuacksO November 22, 2021
Get the At least we don't hafta shovel liquid watermug.