ascessor

A property-evaluator who checks da quality of your septic system.
Even regular tax-assessors don't usually have a particularly pleasant time interacting with da public, since they usually evaluate people's properties for da absolute maximum amount imaginable, but ascessors have an even more thankless job.
by QuacksO March 19, 2021
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What you smilingly reply when someone says, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away".
Children with a sweet tooth are not so likely to say, "That's fine --- I love apples" as kiddos who have been raised on a whole-foods diet.
by QuacksO March 10, 2021
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fomented beverage

An alcoholic drink that is used to "soothe the soul" of the person imbibing it.
Drinking beer isn't really the best way to calm down and forget your troubles; neither is literally using it as a "fomented beverage" --- i.e., pouring it all over yourself in an attempt to "douse the burning". All you end up doing is wasting a costly comestible and covering yourself in disgusting sticky odiferous foam that stains your clothes and body.
by QuacksO November 19, 2023
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fanominal

Hugely-impressive from either a breeze-creating or dedicated-audience standpoint.
Da overheated crowd's voluminous cheering when da theater's new five-bladed air-blowers were demonstrated was truly fanominal.
by QuacksO December 27, 2024
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flagon-dry

Someone who abstains from tossing back steins of pale ale.
What is da difference between a recovering alcoholic and da large gossamer-winged insect dat eats mosquitos? Well, da soaring bug is a "dragon-fly", and da person is a "flagon-dry" --- i.e., he is now a teetotaler who never wets da inside of his fancy metal or glass tankard with strong drink, but instead just proudly displays it empty in his front window or on a shelf to show dat he's no longer using it for its intended purpose.
by QuacksO April 19, 2024
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straightcycle

An either men's or women's two-wheeler, not an either-gender-rideable model.
Now dat many ladies are more active/rugged bikers and no longer wear skirts when "going for a pedal", a dude's more-sturdy/rigid triangular-framed bike is perfectly suitable for them to ride, as well, and so it's more of a "bi-cycle", not just a male-only "straightcycle".
by QuacksO December 30, 2021
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rectifry

A bungling attempt to alleviate a problem or malfunction, but which ends up just completely destroying said problematic object/situation, or making matters infinitely worse.
Angus MacGyver's alter-ego, MacGruber, is infamous for his rectifrying any situation he is faced with.
by QuacksO April 14, 2019
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