QuacksO's definitions

alibris

An "I couldn't have been the culprit because I was elsewhere" narrative dat you give da cops, saying dat you were at a house of learning at da time when da crime dat they're investigating happened.

Da term "alibris" can also refer to a tale of innocence dat you give da staff at a book store or reading room when they ask you about a book dat has not been paid for, signed out, or returned.

by QuacksO November 27, 2023

Spacific Ocean

Dat particular large body of salt-water dat's known for having less-choppy waves than others.

In da famous "building a bridge from Southern California to Hawaii is easier than helping you to understand women" genie-released-from-a-bottle joke, it's not always mentioned which Spacific ocean they are referring to where said bridge is supposed to be built across.

by QuacksO December 19, 2020

Gordon Leadfoot

Da "evil twin" to da "nearly-weightless on his toes" Canadian singer; said "black sheep" counterpart loves to really "floor it" when driving.

I wonder if da melodious-voiced songwriter of "Ghosts of Cape Horn:" and "Wreck Of the Edmund Fitzgerald" fame is having to perform overtime just to pay for his irresponsible relative Gordon Leadfoot's speeding tickets???

by QuacksO May 7, 2020

nizzard blizzard

What stilts-enthusiast King Birtram's patrol-cats prevent by guarding the Kingdom Of Binn's dike-trees night and day.

I take it that there is enough of a nizzard blizzard at egg-hatching time to keep the population of said snooty blackbirds fairly stable, since after his banishment, the evil Lord Droon was made to gaggingly make a meal out of one or more cooked specimens of said troublesome flapper three times a day.

by QuacksO January 8, 2020

Shylock Holmes

A late-19th-century consulting-detective who charged wayyyyy too much for his services.

If you think that Shylock Holmes charged too much for helping you legally, you would be totally "shocked" at how much his faithful sidekick, Doctor Wattson, charged for HIS medical services!

by QuacksO August 17, 2020

rhythm method

A supposedly-effective/reliable means of avoiding pregnancy, this technique practically guarantees that you will "crank 'em out like an assembly line" on an even and regular basis!

Jim Bob Skullduggary and his wife practiced the rhythm method when they first started out to raise a family, and you see where THAT got them!

by QuacksO December 29, 2017

calone

A non-German perfume that smells so intensely yucky or cloying that other folks typically clear out whenever someone wearing said crap-lotion comes anywhere near, leaving said scent-steeped person "all by his lonesome".

Slathering on copious quantities of calone can often be highly effective if you're not in the mood to be intimate with someone, but occasionally said ass-craving person will either not have a good sense of smell, can hold his breath for extended periods, have thought to bring along a damp rag to tie over his nose, or be so lust-crazed that he will feel that his getting laid is worth enduring the horrible stench.

by QuacksO December 29, 2018