QuacksO's definitions
A con-man who TELLS you b**ls**t advice/predictions and charges a FORTUNE for said "divine rvelations"/
Harry Houdini had little patience or respect for so-called fortune tellers, and he was able to expose the vast majority of them as nothing but frauds and humbugs.
by QuacksO March 29, 2019
Get the fortune tellermug. What you say when someone else asks for your help with a so-called "emergency". While this response may indeed be fully valid/appropriate in cases where the asker is unreasonably seeking assistance and/or should be seeking said assistance elsewhere, it unfortunately can also be abused, wherein the speaker may be wrongfully denying the asker reasonable or "Golden Rule" help --- in other words, the same type/degree of assistance that HE HIMSELF would logically expect from others if HE had a similar unexpected crisis in his OWN life.
Stranded motorist: Thanks so much for coming out in the rain to give me a jump-start, Buddy! Bless your heart!
Redneck hippie in an ancient Ford F-150: No problemmo, Dude --- it's only what I'd want myself if I was in this same situation. I'm just sorry you walked all that distance to ask me for help... there's a fairly well-off family who lives a good quarter-mile nearer here than I do, and they have several nice vehicles that they could have helped you with.
Motorist: Yeah, well I actually DID ask there, and the smooth-skinned older hombre who came to the door with a TV-remote in his hand just told me curtly, "It's not my problem --- you should have remembered to turn off your headlights."
Redneck: Really?!?? Well, that totally SUX --- I guess HE'S just never had any problems like this, and so he doesn't know that errors like that can happen to anyone!
Redneck hippie in an ancient Ford F-150: No problemmo, Dude --- it's only what I'd want myself if I was in this same situation. I'm just sorry you walked all that distance to ask me for help... there's a fairly well-off family who lives a good quarter-mile nearer here than I do, and they have several nice vehicles that they could have helped you with.
Motorist: Yeah, well I actually DID ask there, and the smooth-skinned older hombre who came to the door with a TV-remote in his hand just told me curtly, "It's not my problem --- you should have remembered to turn off your headlights."
Redneck: Really?!?? Well, that totally SUX --- I guess HE'S just never had any problems like this, and so he doesn't know that errors like that can happen to anyone!
by QuacksO January 1, 2017
Get the It's not my problemmug. In da hilarious animated short, "Pink Posies", da Little Big-Nosed Guy is having da equivalent of da "chrysanthemum vs. chrysanthepup" dilemma, in dat he is desperately trying to plant yellow flowers, whereas we know what color blooms dat our favorite fuchsia-colored feline is always slipping into da soil instead. :P
by QuacksO November 1, 2024
Get the chrysanthepupmug. Two examples of infurriating animals would be cats and squirrels --- da felines shed all over the house, and da chattering tree-dwellers always abscond with your bird-seed before your feathered friends can get it!
by QuacksO August 29, 2020
Get the infurriatingmug. The notorious 18th-century womanizing dandy whose chief means of impressing the ladies was to give them guided tours of his huge and fancy stone fortress.
Helen of Troy may indeed have had a "face that launched a thousand ships", but Castlenova's personal charm and the grandeur of his palace is known to have attracted nigh-onto-a-thousand Helen-faced damsels, so I dunno which legendary subject is more impressive overall.
by QuacksO April 22, 2019
Get the Castlenovamug. Bu**s**t!! This is merely what you **always** say when someone calls your help-line! You're just too cheap to hire enough customer-service reps!
Unless there actually was a recent major event like a power-outage or security-breach, DON'T BELIEVE IT if a company's caller-greeting recording says that, "We are currently experiencing higher-than-normal call-volumes; you may stay on the line and wait for the next representative, or you can leave a call-back number for one of our reps to return your call during this same business day, or you might want to try your call again later"... again, DON'T BELIEVE IT --- in all likelihood, this is merely what they ALWAYS tell ALL of their customers who call, no matter what time-period it is ! And whatever you do, DON'T THINK THAT "LEAVING YOUR NUMBER" WILL CAUSE THE COMPANY TO CALL YOU BACK... I have waited ALL THE REST OF THE DAY for a call-back, and the company **never** got back to me! The best thing to do, therefore, is to simply "stay on the line" to "keep your slot in the cue", even if it means a long wait... better to eventually get through than never reach a live person at all.
by QuacksO July 29, 2019
Get the We are currently experiencing higher-than-normal call-volumesmug. In-depth instruction and strenuous practice regarding how to attach cables or ropes for heavy freight-transporting.
Achieving efficient sling-building and block-and-tackle setup requires many hours of riggerous training.
by QuacksO November 3, 2025
Get the riggerous trainingmug.