homo erectus

An ancient species of primitive man who habitually walked about with huge boners, and had just one thing on their minds.
The homo erectus species faded out of existence fairly quickly due to their inherent failure in finding very many willing females to procreate their species. And you can't exactly blame the ladies, really --- after all, how many gals would wanna even *get near* a hulking hairy dude with a disgustingly-obvious and perpetually rock-hard schlong, let alone spread their legs for him??? I mean, seriously --- a lascivious stud should at least take the time to get to know a human heifer a little bit first, rather than just giving her a huge eager stupid "Gimme s'mass, baby!" grin and attempting to jump her bones the moment he first sets eyes on her!
by QuacksO April 23, 2018
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Handle with care

Just like "Fragile" or "This side up", this labeling will almost 100% guarantee that your parcel will be tossed, bounced, drop-kicked, and/or stomped upon by disgruntled/delinquent shipping-personnel during its entire journey from you to your intended recipient. Yep, I'm talking to YOU, USPS/UPS/FedEx!!! There --- I said it --- got it off my chest! :P
During the infamous "angry political activists shooting at passing semi-trucks" period back in the 80's, some truckers apparently resorted to painting their trailers with huge "Caution: explosives"-type signs to discourage nearby riflemen who would prefer not to get blown up themselves along with their intended targets. A cartoon in a magazine during that time showed two redneck 18-wheeler-drivers discussing a huge "WHAMMO DYNAMITE" label that the speaker has painted on the side of his van; the driver is saying something like, "Actually, I'm hauling dried prunes, but I feel a lot safer this way, rather than my having 'Handle with care' written on there instead."
by QuacksO September 10, 2018
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arrestaurant

An eating-establishment where undercover cops hang out in the hopes of nabbing people who are on the run.
Dirty Harry was able to use the arrestaurant to catch his suspect; too bad the crook didn't think to count whether Harry had fired five shots or six; he didn't know the gun was empty when Harry told him, "Go ahead --- make my day!".
by QuacksO May 12, 2019
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eggsasperated

Refers to a sore-emotions feeling that you get regarding an egg-related issue.
I put a pot on the stove to boil some eggs, but then I forgot to add the eggs to the pot, and so I discovered nuthin' but an "empty" pot after boiling it for five minutes! I was sooooo eggsasperated!
by QuacksO October 09, 2018
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quimprovise

To create a fake "va-jay-jay" if no real human "feline portion" is available.
High-quality fake "love-tunnels" made from silicone are available fairly inexpensively, so there is no need to actually quimprovise one of your own.
by QuacksO March 19, 2020
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insolin

A glucose-processing compound dat tempers someone's urge to act disrespectfully due to a sugar high.
Mouthy Madea seemed to have a large chip on her shoulder 24/7, regardless of her insolin levels.
by QuacksO July 20, 2021
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Da classic bu**s**t remark dat people use to try to make each other feel better regarding an unforeseen/inconvenient downpour.
Everyone's lawns and gardens were flourishing just dandy before today's torrential downpour, so why is everyone telling each other, "We needed the rain at this time"?! Who needs drenched muddy sidewalks and huge messy puddles all over town???
by QuacksO August 26, 2023
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