QuacksO's definitions

precursery examination

An assortment of inspections and tests that a pediatrician and/or child psychologist performs on a toddler during the time when he's just learning to talk, in order to determine the likelihood that he will develop a "potty mouth".

A precursery examination is all well and good, but I think that a physician should also check on how the child's PARENTS AND SIBLINGS "behave themselves" verbally, as well --- whether or not THEY exhibit a perpetually "salty" vocabulary is often a much-better indication of whether Little Junior is going to begin acquiring a "colorful" vocabulary than the results of any physical/medical tests!

by QuacksO November 26, 2018

acupunkture

The surgical insertion of sharp pointed metal probes into various areas of the body for the purpose of preparing said flesh for the installation of the metal stud-pins for fashion-jewelry (i.e., "piercings") denoting a defiant/non-conformist personality and a taste for loud/obnoxious music.

I see all these young people nowadays with their wild hair-styles and acupunkture-installed body-decor, and I just shake my head in confused disgust --- I happen to like my body just as it is naturally, so why should I wanna mess it up with a whole bunch of hideous hair-coloring and stainless-steel/titanium hardware?!

by QuacksO November 27, 2018

promisecuous

Denotes the status of frequently making an verbal commitment to spread your legs as "collateral" for a favor that someone else does for you, such as loaning you money, giving you a ride, performing manual labor for you, etc.

Agreeing to help a promisecuous lady may be all well and good, but one should consider how likely it is that said chick will actually keep her word when the time comes for her to "deliver the goods".

by QuacksO November 28, 2018

Marco Polo

An ancient European explorer who taught everyone whom he met how to play golf and croquet from horseback.

Marco Polo and his followers may indeed have had intensely happy times with all their whooping and swinging while riding on horseback, and more power to them, I say. Still, I much prefer just sharing a quiet "strolling around on foot" mallets-and-balls game with my family and friends, thank you very much.

by QuacksO November 28, 2018

periodic profile-purging

A boring-but-necessary bit of drudgery that must be performed every so often on your Facebook and other online "this is me and my life" pages, to ferret out and delete any derogatory/offensive/useless content that a few lazy-a** hoodlums with excessively-temperish personalities (and an unwillingness to merely talk to you directly/privately if they have a gripe with you about something, instead of just splashing their whimpery B.S. all over your profile's comments-section) and/or way too much time on their hands have posted there, so that other viewers of your profiles will not get any wrong ideas about you (i.e., incorrectly think that whatever is being complained about regarding you is actually valid, invalidly assume that you approve of and/or welcome less-than-decent-or-positive material, etc.).

I have to laboriously perform a periodic profile-purging for my Facebook and Tagged account-pages every few months, but I find it worthwhile, since most people whom I befriend online tell me that they like what they see in my profiles, and no doubt this is largely because I try to keep them "clean and pristine" so that viewers are not offended as they scroll down the pages.

by QuacksO December 2, 2018

embracing-towel

A large clean towel that you carry with you while strolling the beach, and then drape around the shoulders of any cute chicks whom you meet prior to giving them a hug, so that you don't hafta endure any disgusting yucky-sticky skin-to-skin contact with sweaty/oily arms, necks, chests, backs, and shoulders during said embraces.

I find that bathing beauties are much more willing to give me a hug when I bring along an embracing-towel; I even occasionally receive a warm-hearted compliment from da chick for my being "such a perfect gentleman" to think considerately of her like that.

by QuacksO December 2, 2018

Howard Bakery

Da infamous Washington, D.C.-based sweets-shop that sold all the tasty-but-super-unhealthy ingredients of the Iran-Contra scandal --- orange mcfarlanade, oliver oil, poindextrose. etc. They also often had a sale on Tower cakes, and ran specials on chocolate-chip cookies by the Casey.

I've heard of confectionery-stores' selling all kinds of "sinful delights", but the Howard bakery really "took the cake" for the total rogue's gallery of appallingly-harmful culinary products on its shelves!

by QuacksO December 3, 2018