QuacksO's definitions

HOWE did he make stitches so fast???

He used his newly-invented sewing machine (duh!).

In a historic mid-1800's sewing-speed contest, Elias Howe was able to sew 250 stitches per minute on his mechanical wonder, as opposed to a mere thirty stitches that a group of professional seamstresses were able to make in that same allotment of time. I imagine that said fleet-fingered ladies exchanged astonished gawking stares and asked each other, "HOWE did he make stitches so fast???"

by QuacksO April 5, 2019

alibris

An "I couldn't have been the culprit because I was elsewhere" narrative dat you give da cops, saying dat you were at a house of learning at da time when da crime dat they're investigating happened.

Da term "alibris" can also refer to a tale of innocence dat you give da staff at a book store or reading room when they ask you about a book dat has not been paid for, signed out, or returned.

by QuacksO November 27, 2023

rumspringer

An Amish "rite of passage" period whereby teenagers are permitted to indulge in certain "wild 'n' free" actions of "them English" --- such as "guzzling da Gordon's" and watching fake-fight scenes on TV --- in order to experience life outside of their communities and thus be better able to decide whether they want to continue with their insipidly-boring and oppressively-strict religion-steeped Amish ways, or live like da normal public does.

Somehow, da whole idea behind rumspringer seems like a very destructive and unwise idea... rather than Amish parents' allowing their children to totally "whoop it up big-time" --- and partake of unhealthy/dangerous activities dat could likely harm and/or negatively influence them permanently --- on just dat one glorious debauched-freedom-steeped period of their lives, why not instead merely "ease off a bit" on some of da most oppressive rules, and therefore simply let their children have a slightly-more-pleasant existence for da ENTIRE REST OF THEIR LIVES??? Da old adage, "Don't spend it all in one place!" comes to mind here --- kind of like if someone wastefully squanders his entire disability-check in just da first few days of da month ("Oh, boy --- PARTY TIME!!!) and then has nothing left to use over da entire remainder of da month, and thus has to just miserably sit around and mope in dissatisfied dejection for nearly four weeks till his next "helping of lifeblood" is released to him! Why not instead just carefully dole out said precious limited funds-allotment a little at a time over da entire month, so dat he will have enough for everything he needs?

by QuacksO February 12, 2023

sintax

What grammar teachers would like to charge their students if they use crappy English in their oral/written assignments.

Mary Kay Letourneau wasn't prompted by a "puffed score" deal when she chose to be intimate with her student; she merely liked him a lot, and vise-versa. She still hadda pay quite a "sintax", though --- a significant jail-sentence, participation in a probationary-program period, etc.

by QuacksO October 20, 2023

infirmation

Various facts and details dat da state and/or local government needs to obtain from a less-than-capable person to determine what benefits and assistance he qualifies for.

I make sure to always have any and all relevant infirmation handy whenever I re-apply for SSI and Food Stamps.

by QuacksO January 27, 2023

agreedgious

Excessively difficult merely due to someone else's wanting more than his share.

Gluttonous children often don't realize how agreedgious it is for grownups to hafta cook more food just to satisfy their voracious appetites.

by QuacksO February 20, 2024

Department of the Deterior

A b**ls**t US-government branch that is responsible for the eroding of our infrastructure and negatively impacting the lives of its citizens in general.

Ever since "The Donald" came to power, most of the government branches have largely "jumped the fence" and consolidated themselves into one huge Department of the Deterior!

by QuacksO August 10, 2018