Definitions by QuacksO
utility knock-knock joke
Any of several well-known "door-tap pun" verbal exchanges which involve either an offer ("Howard", "Tijuana", etc.) or a request ("Woodrow", "Kudu", etc.) by da speaker to da listener; often, said query is proffered in said manner in an effort to lighten da mood and add a little humor to said proposal, in order to hopefully take some of da sting outta da expressed idea, which might involve less-than-desirable aspects such as difficult/yucky/tedious labor, significant changes in habits/lifestyle such as being more active and/or giving up "comfort" foods, etc.
A lot of da utility knock-knock joke selections are somewhat "interchangeable" as far as their "request" or "offer" status --- i.e., a word dat's mostly intended for proposing an assistive/generosity action by da speaker to da listener (such as "Howard you like me to _?", or "Tijnana do/have _?") can also be used by da speaker for asking for assistance/charity from da listener (such as, "Howard you feel about doing _?", or "Tijuana volunteer to _?"). Or by da same token, a gigglingly-uttered conversing dat uses a word which is usually reserved for giving-of-time/resources appeals can also be used by da speaker to extend an offer of help to da listener, such as, "Woodrow like me to _?", or "Kudu let me help you out by _?"
utility knock-knock joke by QuacksO June 15, 2024
hynesight
What Lassie's Cockney caretaker should have had more of, so as not to get "sacked" by da Duke for being such an "utter nincompoop".
In hynesight, da Duke of Rudling should never have hired said "utter nincompoop" in da first place, given his inherent lack of learning from his past mistakes.
fart dieseling
Da embarrassing (or hilarious, depending on who you talk to, and/or whether da emotions-feeler is da "actor" or da "observer") interval of "run-on" dat sometimes occurs following da "main event" --- i.e., yer butt-trumpet keeps on "purrin' like a kitten" for an extended period afterwards, rather than just "saying its piece" and then being done wif it.
In da uproarious "National Baked Bean Month" speech, da formally-dignified speaker experiences a major bout of fart dieseling towards da end, totally goofing up said oration but majorly putting his audience in stitches.
fart dieseling by QuacksO June 15, 2024
re-permission
Refers to a confirmation of a previously-granted go-ahead dat you either periodically request from da same person who had already said dat a desired-by-you action was okay sometime in da past but you are concerned dat his circumstances might have changed in da meantime and so you'd better query him again to make sure dat he's still okay wif it, or ask for from da new owners/managers of whatever objects/property dat you'd previously been allowed to access by whoever was runnin' da show before it changed hands; for all you know, this present authority-figure's policies/conditions might be different from da previous owner's, and so it might NOT be okay wif HIM for you to continue doing whatever you'd been permitted in da past.
I occasionally cause unintentional irritation/impatience wif home/business-owners when requesting re-permission for some favor/allowance dat had always given to me in da past (they might exasperatedly snort, "We already said last year that you may do that, Dude --- why do you need to ask us again?" or, "Well, of COURSE it's okay with us, Buddy --- we've always had total respect for So-And-So's judgement, and so if HE said that you are a safe/honest/responsible person, then naturally we would trust his word and allow you the same privilege ourselves!"), but I figger dat I would likely get into a lot MORE dutch if I DIDN'T ask again on some unfortunate occasion when I SHOULD have "just checked to make sure", and so I would rather take da much-lesser risk of merely annoying someone wif my question, rather than potentially making him super-upset wif me if I naively did something dat he was not --- or no longer --- okay wif.
re-permission by QuacksO June 15, 2024
alphabetical easements
Assorted "from A to Z" relief-from-standard-requirements allowances, such as:
beesement: Where someone else volunteers to "get a buzz" managing da apiary so dat you can clear yer head for a while
breezement: Where you are allowed to either "fart proudly" or avoid "having yer cheek visited too roughly" by passing air-currents
ceasement: Not having to stop something you enjoy
cheesement: Being allowed to eat softer milk-curd solids instead of firmer-textured selections like Swiss or cheddar
Cleesement: Not having to sit in on a group-viewing of "Fawlty Towers" re-runs
creasement: Not having people fuss if yer clothes aren't ironed
Creesement: Where you are free to treat all Native-American tribes da same way
feesement: Having a service-charge waived
freezement: Not making you shiver yer a** off working outdoors in colder weather
geesement: Not having to deal wif all those annoying big white "honkers" in da farmyard
geezement: Fellow humans' refraining from expressing displeasure about your faults
greasement: Having someone else operate da lubing-gun
jeezement: Same deal as two definitions back
keysement: Not having to DIDDLE wif those FIDDLY little brass lock-opener devices, like if your ride uses a wireless remote
kneesement: What those squishy-foam mats or padded strap-on cups allow yer leg-joints when squatting on hard/rough surfaces
leasement: Not having to sign an agreement to use a dwelling or property
leesement: Being allowed "safe harbor"
beesement: Where someone else volunteers to "get a buzz" managing da apiary so dat you can clear yer head for a while
breezement: Where you are allowed to either "fart proudly" or avoid "having yer cheek visited too roughly" by passing air-currents
ceasement: Not having to stop something you enjoy
cheesement: Being allowed to eat softer milk-curd solids instead of firmer-textured selections like Swiss or cheddar
Cleesement: Not having to sit in on a group-viewing of "Fawlty Towers" re-runs
creasement: Not having people fuss if yer clothes aren't ironed
Creesement: Where you are free to treat all Native-American tribes da same way
feesement: Having a service-charge waived
freezement: Not making you shiver yer a** off working outdoors in colder weather
geesement: Not having to deal wif all those annoying big white "honkers" in da farmyard
geezement: Fellow humans' refraining from expressing displeasure about your faults
greasement: Having someone else operate da lubing-gun
jeezement: Same deal as two definitions back
keysement: Not having to DIDDLE wif those FIDDLY little brass lock-opener devices, like if your ride uses a wireless remote
kneesement: What those squishy-foam mats or padded strap-on cups allow yer leg-joints when squatting on hard/rough surfaces
leasement: Not having to sign an agreement to use a dwelling or property
leesement: Being allowed "safe harbor"
More alphabetical easements:
measement: Not having to just think of others all da time
niecement: Not having to deal wif yer kid-brother's bratty pigtailed ankle-biter
peasement: Not having to either shell sphere-shaped veggies or eat yucky cereal
pleasement: Not having to either kowtow to others or speak super-politely
queasement: Being given a rest-break 'cuz you're feeling "rumbly in yer tumbly"
Reesement: Being given an orange-wrapped candy bar to munch on
seesement: Not having to either keep yer eyes open or remember/report what you observe
seizement: Either having others keep their grabby hands off'n you, or having Loctite LB 8150 applied to metal parts
sleazement: Freedom from "shady" dealings
Smeesement: What Peter Pan got whenever Captain Hook's right-hand man was absent
sneezement: What cold-and-flu remedies hopefully will provide
spreesement: Relief from a noticeable uptick in something
squeezement: Not having to be subjected to a hardship or bear-hug
teasement: Having others either respect your feelings or not serve you disgusting herbal-brew
teesement: Not having to play golf, wear undershirts, or cross a certain letter of da alphabet
threesement: Being allowed to just deal wif either two-or-less or four-or-more items
treesement: Not having to deal wif large/tall plants
tweezement: Being allowed to leave your lashes/brows as they grow naturally
wheezement: What Pat McManus gains from following da MFFFF.
zeesement: Being allowed some shut-eye
measement: Not having to just think of others all da time
niecement: Not having to deal wif yer kid-brother's bratty pigtailed ankle-biter
peasement: Not having to either shell sphere-shaped veggies or eat yucky cereal
pleasement: Not having to either kowtow to others or speak super-politely
queasement: Being given a rest-break 'cuz you're feeling "rumbly in yer tumbly"
Reesement: Being given an orange-wrapped candy bar to munch on
seesement: Not having to either keep yer eyes open or remember/report what you observe
seizement: Either having others keep their grabby hands off'n you, or having Loctite LB 8150 applied to metal parts
sleazement: Freedom from "shady" dealings
Smeesement: What Peter Pan got whenever Captain Hook's right-hand man was absent
sneezement: What cold-and-flu remedies hopefully will provide
spreesement: Relief from a noticeable uptick in something
squeezement: Not having to be subjected to a hardship or bear-hug
teasement: Having others either respect your feelings or not serve you disgusting herbal-brew
teesement: Not having to play golf, wear undershirts, or cross a certain letter of da alphabet
threesement: Being allowed to just deal wif either two-or-less or four-or-more items
treesement: Not having to deal wif large/tall plants
tweezement: Being allowed to leave your lashes/brows as they grow naturally
wheezement: What Pat McManus gains from following da MFFFF.
zeesement: Being allowed some shut-eye
alphabetical easements by QuacksO June 15, 2024