Definitions by QuacksO
Pentaccostal
The infamous ultra-pushy hypocritical religious organization that makes you feel almost forcibly delayed ("accosted") when their overzealous members arrogantly approach you about joining their faith and/or attending their services, yet they themselves perform acts of blatant dishonesty and aggressive rudeness that even an openly-hardened atheist would probably never do. Can also loosely refer to any form of unwanted religion-based harassment, no matter from what denomination.
Redneck Teenager: I have to take an alternate route to the lake when I go fishing on the weekend, so that I don't get pentaccostaled by the local bible-thumpers.
Pentaccostal by QuacksO January 13, 2017
winter salt
What the D.O.T. puts on the road in snowy weather to clear it enough so that you can drive "safely and sanely" --- in other words, so that your car maintains a straight level path and keeps all four wheels on the road instead of doing twirlies or back-flips, i.e., "summer salts".
I usually walk to the store during snowy periods so that my car doesn't get rotted out underneath from all the winter salt on the road.
winter salt by QuacksO January 12, 2017
selective capability disorder
Refers to a broad range of pseudo-maladies (where the person is merely faking/exaggerating a certain physical/emotional/mental infirmity/disability, like the infamous "selective deafness") that many lazy/selfish/uncaring people complain of, merely to get out of performing some undesirable task. These supposed maladies include:
(1) selective stamina/fatigue disorder, whereby the "sufferer" instantly becomes a nearly-lifeless "limp rag" whenever anything resembling w-o-r-k is requested/suggested; he always seems to be perfectly able to jump robustly back up again, though, when some fun/pleasant activity is subsequently offered or suggested
(2) selective phobia disorder, whereby the "sufferer" claims to have an intense fear/loathing of a certain aspect of the task at hand, again, usually to simply be relieved of having to participate in said task; he often seems to be able to placidly/confidently manage other similar-context activities just fine, however
(3) selective allergy/medical-condition disorder, similar to #2, whereby someone claims to have a serious illness/infirmity that would prevent him from safely performing a less-than-pleasant task, yet he's perfectly okay with less arduous/boring tasks which involve the same types of substances/conditions
(4) selective strength/health disorder, whereby someone claims to not be physically muscular/fit enough to perform a certain task, but yet he lifts weights, moves heavy loads in a hand-truck/wheelbarrow, etc. at other times
(1) selective stamina/fatigue disorder, whereby the "sufferer" instantly becomes a nearly-lifeless "limp rag" whenever anything resembling w-o-r-k is requested/suggested; he always seems to be perfectly able to jump robustly back up again, though, when some fun/pleasant activity is subsequently offered or suggested
(2) selective phobia disorder, whereby the "sufferer" claims to have an intense fear/loathing of a certain aspect of the task at hand, again, usually to simply be relieved of having to participate in said task; he often seems to be able to placidly/confidently manage other similar-context activities just fine, however
(3) selective allergy/medical-condition disorder, similar to #2, whereby someone claims to have a serious illness/infirmity that would prevent him from safely performing a less-than-pleasant task, yet he's perfectly okay with less arduous/boring tasks which involve the same types of substances/conditions
(4) selective strength/health disorder, whereby someone claims to not be physically muscular/fit enough to perform a certain task, but yet he lifts weights, moves heavy loads in a hand-truck/wheelbarrow, etc. at other times
My uncle claims to be helpless.clueless whenever I ask him to step in and help resolve a dispute between a fellow youngster and myself, yet he is a headmaster at a private school and is known for his firm leadership there... sounds like selective capability disorder to me!
selective capability disorder by QuacksO January 10, 2017
confectional
Where a solemnly-sworn dieter goes to admit his "slippages" of partaking of sweets, usually to a resident health-guru.
I hate going to confectional, since as atonement they make you eat a four-ounce chunk of tofu and a medium bowl of alfalfa sprouts, then drink a whole pint of pureed green wheat-grass ---- bleaahhhk!!
confectional by QuacksO January 7, 2017
Morphy's Law
Refers to the often-experienced situation of frustration and lack of progress/advancement caused by the infamous "double-face" that so many lazy/selfish/insensitive people rapidly vacillate between, depending on current conditions --- one moment they may be robustly cheerful and agreeably open-minded, and then if someone mentions an unwelcome subject or task, they suddenly "morph" into an irritable depressed "limp rag" who does not wish to bestir himself or cooperate/assist in any way.
Morphy's Law: The level of energy/patience/good humor that someone possesses is in direct inverse proportion to the desirability of the topic under discussion, the amount of strenuous labor involved in a proposed task, etc.
Morphy's Law by QuacksO January 4, 2017
fart preview
Refers to any occasion when you feel a large bubble of gas "transfer" or "travel" from the upper part of your colon to a position somewhat lower down, but without actually exiting from your butt immediately. This gastronomical "heads up" can be extremely useful in allowing you to both adequately prepare for the eventual "eruption" and hopefully prevent any disasters/embarrassment from said expellation, since it not only notifies you that a sizable fart is imminent, but it also enables you to (1) judge the approximate size/intensity of the upcoming whizzpopper and thus determine whether you should hastily change locale to avoid offending others' ears/noses, and (2) predict what **type** of fart ("dry" or "wet 'n' messy") it will likely be, so that if necessary you can rush to the bathroom, shed your pants and underwear like they're on fire (if they aren't already smouldering from repeated extra-spicy-chili farts!), or take other appropriate steps/precautions to lessen your chance of soiling both yourself and anything else that your butt happens to be in close proximity to, such as a chair, mattress/bedclothes, someone else's lap, etc.
Girl, surprised out of a sound slumber by her guy's sudden alarmed flinging off of the bedclothes and hasty exiting of the bed: Where ya going, honeysnugglez?
Guy, calling back over his shoulder as he's sprinting for the bathroom: Sorry, sweet cheex --- didn't mean to startle ya like that, but I felt a major liquid-fart preview back there.
Girl, giggling: Well, you know, I did warn ya about partying till 2am at that Mexican all-you-can-eat bash --- now you're payin' for it, eh???
Guy, calling back over his shoulder as he's sprinting for the bathroom: Sorry, sweet cheex --- didn't mean to startle ya like that, but I felt a major liquid-fart preview back there.
Girl, giggling: Well, you know, I did warn ya about partying till 2am at that Mexican all-you-can-eat bash --- now you're payin' for it, eh???
fart preview by QuacksO January 3, 2017
family support
A sweet/innocent-sounding term for frequent/ongoing financial handouts that one or more mooching relatives (such as adult-children or nephews/nieces) request/expect from one or more fiscally-solvent/responsible relatives (such as parents, grandparents, or aunts/uncles), step-relatives, or in-laws.
Disgusted step-father: Boy, when I agreed to a "family support" clause in the prenup, it never occurred to me that I'd be expected to actually FINANCIALLY SUPPORT my apathetic step-daughter and her lazy good-for-nothing live-in boyfriend! They act like they love and appreciate me, but I know they really only view me as a walking ATM!
family support by QuacksO January 2, 2017