Definitions by QuacksO

Orenthology 

A published collection of poems detailing da infamous "If I did it" assertions supposedly penned by Da Juice.

I hear dat little or none of da highly-controversial "Confessions of the Killer" book was actually written by da "citrus-drink dude", so perhaps said tome is not really a true or accurate Orenthology of what he actually thinks about da matter.

Orenthology by QuacksO February 12, 2020

paraffinalia 

Da assorted equipment used for making or burning candles.

Plain white candle-wax is used for canning, too, so "paraffinalia" could also refer to tools used in sealing the jars.

paraffinalia by QuacksO February 11, 2020

callusthenics 

Exercises dat result in thickened rough patches of skin.

Callusthenics may indeed have health benefits, but you should have a supply of pumice-stone on hand if you also wanna look your best in a swimsuit.

callusthenics by QuacksO February 11, 2020

probeation 

An extra-strict-and-invasive type of "let's see if you can behave yourself this time" parole-period where your overseers really stick their long inquisitive noses deep into your personal business.

I really value my privacy, and so I try to avoid committing any crimes to begin with, so that hopefully I will never have to be put on probeation.

probeation by QuacksO February 11, 2020

tamperature 

Da level of heat required to either mess wif something or gain unauthorized access. (Tylenol bottles don't count, of course, since a blow-torch would just melt da plastic into a shapeless goo long before you got to da pills inside.)

Da word "tamperature" can also refer to da "degree" dat someone gets blood-boilingly frustrated while attempting to gain entry to something dat he's not supposed to be screwing wif --- da harder said object is to access, da more "hot under da collar" said feverishly-incensed vandal is likely to become.

tamperature by QuacksO February 11, 2020

saulution

Da violent "fix" or "answer" for alleviating da resentful jealousy dat da infamous hot-tempered Hebrew king felt towards David.

I always enjoy and appreciate it if someone plays soothing music for me, so I fail to understand why throwing spears at your musician would be a viable saulution...?

saulution by QuacksO February 11, 2020

exersize 

Stretches and workouts dat you perform to improve da physical dimensions of one or more body-parts.

One often does exersizes to enlarge muscles and reduce belly-fat. Another not-so-well-known regimen that's something like this was detailed in a humorous narrative a few years ago: a dude riding on a public bus notices a fellow passenger vigorously massaging her quite-ample chest while chanting something quietly to herself. Upon curiously questioning her, da guy is surprised to hear da lady say dat six months earlier, her therapist had recommended a fairly-simple cure for her then-unusually-flat chest --- "I just massage the area for a few minutes several times a day while uttering the phrase, 'Scooby-dooby-doobies, I want bigger boobies!' And as you can see, it's worked wonderfully!" Da guy ponders a moment and then asks, "Is your therapist Jim Jones, by any chance?" Upon hearing dat it is and being asked how he guessed, da dude replies a bit sheepishly, "Hickory-dickory-dock..."

exersize by QuacksO February 11, 2020