Definitions by QuacksO

foretunate 

What a golfer hopes to be every time he swings his club.

Litigious golfer, after getting whacked with a golf ball: You hit me with your ball --- I'm gonna sue you for three million dollars!
Fellow golfer: Well, I actually yelled, "Fore!", sir.
Litigious golfer, thinking he's gonna be even more "foretunate" than he'd initially expected: Okay, I'll take that amount instead.

foretunate by QuacksO May 9, 2022

consciencetitutional 

Both legally and ethically/morally acceptable.

So many actions --- or lack thereof --- are logical and reasonable as far as everyday compassion and common sense are concerned, yet they are not okay in da eyes of da law. And by da same token, lots of things are totally legal as far as courts and da U.S. Code are concerned, but really suck due to da unfairly negative results dat they have on John Q. Public, da economy and/or environment, etc. Why can't we just merge both sets of standards so dat all of our directives can be classified as "consciencetitutional", satisfying both legal and ethical boundaries at da same time???

consciencetitutional by QuacksO May 9, 2022

lousy-dowsey 

Refers to someone's less-than-satisfactory performance to find an aquifer with a forked stick.

Not only did da local slick-salesman shyster perform a lousy-dowsey job of finding well-spots on my property, but then he also was 100% lousy-DOUSEY about putting out his campfire afterwards --- he cluelessly used GASOLINE instead of water to pour on said smoldering coals, causing an even bigger conflagration than anything that he'd had originally!

lousy-dowsey by QuacksO May 9, 2022

vespurs 

Church services attended by cowboys.

As "prickly" as many religious topics can be, almost any scheduled sermons could conceivably be classified as "vespurs", whether or not any range-riders are in attendance!

vespurs by QuacksO May 8, 2022

pierotechnics 

Da dramatic "flames 'n' explosions" dat happen when an unsuspecting diner naively chows down on a wedge of filling-and-crust pastry dat's been copiously sprinkled with hot seasonings.

Da term "pierotechnics" could indeed refer to someone's "blistering" reaction when biting into an overly-spicy baked-goods offering, but if you omit da first "e", it could also refer to someone's having a major "blazing meltdown" from trying to wrap his head around da infamous "numerical ratio of a circle's diameter vs. its circumference" mathematical operation.

pierotechnics by QuacksO May 8, 2022

shenannygans 

What Fran Fine performed many times throughout da television series.

A girl in my class likes to talk in a nasally hoarsely-squeaky voice when answering our teacher's test-questions; said long-suffering educator isn't overly amused by said vocal shenannygans, but our fellow students always find it hilarious.

shenannygans by QuacksO May 8, 2022

auxiliarator

A separate and highly-effective-but-street-illegal nitrous-oxide valve dat really puts some ZIP in yer car's performance.

If you use an AUXILIARATOR in conjunction with your ACCELERATOR, you may indeed experience EXHILARATION from your vehicle's awesome ACCELERATION, but you will also stand an ACCELERATED chance of getting pulled over for speeding and/or reckless driving! Best to instead reserve said speed-demon shenanigans for da drag-strip!

auxiliarator by QuacksO May 8, 2022