President Jack Bauer's definitions

yor thtpd

A stupid-sounding way to say, "You're stupid."

Man 1: Hey, you! Yor thtpd!

Man 2: What the fuck does that mean?! What are you, stupid?!

by President Jack Bauer October 29, 2014

circumcastration

It is a process of removing a man's nipples or a woman's boobs through surgery, cutting that part in a circular motion, or clamping the blood vessel in that area, causing it to fall off. The patient often gets to choose which one of these procedires will be operated on them.

I wanted to have circumcastration done on me because I thought my nipples looked ugly as fuck.

by President Jack Bauer October 31, 2014

mermadillo

This is a fantasy creature whose combination is a mermaid and an armadillo. The bottom half of the creature is the mermaid-half. Its top half is the armadillo-half.

Man 1: Look at the beauty of the swimming mermadillo!

Man 2: Beauty wasn't really the word I had in mind...

by President Jack Bauer October 30, 2014

burgerlar

A man who only burgles burgers.

Burgerlar: Give me your fucking burgers!

Fast food worker: What are you, a burgerlar?

Burgerlar: Ha, ha, very funny...

by President Jack Bauer October 30, 2014

S.A.T.O.M.I. Syndrome

A rare but real disease. Very severe in all cases that have been found by scientists. It is not contageous, but people nearby may feel a small sample of the symptoms. The diseased person's children may inherit the disease. So far, a cure has not been found. Each letter of S.A.T.O.M.I. stands for a symptom that all cases have. Below are the main symptoms that come with the disease. Other minor symptoms may be found.

Stupidity (may vary from person to person)

Aging (body ages about three times faster than the actual age)

Terrifying (unattractive to the extreme)

Obesity (varies in body fat from person to person)

Mental-retardation (may actually have autism; a degrading of mental capacity is imminent)

Intolerance (to any degree of pain)

If at any time, you see or know anyone with the disease, all you can do is feel sorry for them.

I feel sorrow for anyone who has S.A.T.O.M.I. Syndrome.

by President Jack Bauer October 31, 2014

adestrogation

The process of removing just one of a man's genitals by means of surgery with no anesthesia or pain killers. More commonly done in third-world countries.

I remember the day that I had an adestrogation like it were yesterday. It was the worst fuckin' day of my life!

by President Jack Bauer October 30, 2014

pusilify

The process of removing a woman's pussy through casytation without anesthesia or pain killers. Most commonly done in third-world countries.

My husband was adestrogated. Then, I found out that the doctors told him that the would need to pusilify me, seeing my medical history. I was nervous...

by President Jack Bauer October 30, 2014