Complete engrossment in one's Blackberry, resulting in voluntary blindness and total ignorance of one's environment.
VJ: Dude why did you plow over that old lady?
Mike: I just had to finish the last line of that email. Total blackberry blindness.
Mike: I just had to finish the last line of that email. Total blackberry blindness.
by PositiveZero April 11, 2008
That Windows Vista, man. Such abortionware.
by PositiveZero October 28, 2007
Almost having sex, but having the universe dick you over in some way. Like, so close that, could you freeze-frame the moment and displace a single electron one nanometer, sex would've occurred.
Guy1: She was totally into it, but wanted to wait until the next day to do it for the first time. Then she got back together with her boyfriend the next morning.
Guy2: Shoulda sealed the deal that night.
Guy1: Yeah, I got quantum-fucked.
Guy2: Shoulda sealed the deal that night.
Guy1: Yeah, I got quantum-fucked.
by PositiveZero January 13, 2009
To give up, or entirely avoid, trying to instruct/enlighten a person because it's likely to be too much work.
Strong Mad: ::etching DAGRON into a desk::
Strong Bad: Strong Mad? You keep on doing your thing, man.
---
Incompetent employee: I've been copying and pasting data from the database into Word in order to build this ridiculously long set of database insert statements.
Competent employee: You know there are tools you can use to do that more intelligently?
Incompetent employee: There's what I can what to what?
Competent employee: ::walks away, shakes head:: Never mind, just keep plugging along, sport.
Strong Bad: Strong Mad? You keep on doing your thing, man.
---
Incompetent employee: I've been copying and pasting data from the database into Word in order to build this ridiculously long set of database insert statements.
Competent employee: You know there are tools you can use to do that more intelligently?
Incompetent employee: There's what I can what to what?
Competent employee: ::walks away, shakes head:: Never mind, just keep plugging along, sport.
by PositiveZero June 19, 2008
The most dreaded words in the English language. May be used by:
1) bosses to survey how productive an employee is being on a task. Chances are, said employee hasn't been working so much as he has been writing UrbanDictionary definitions.
2) girls (and gay men) who want to survey the status of a relationship. Chances are, the guy (or somewhat dignified girl) has to sugarcoat the fact that he or she is using said girl or gay guy for his or her body, and nothing more.
1) bosses to survey how productive an employee is being on a task. Chances are, said employee hasn't been working so much as he has been writing UrbanDictionary definitions.
2) girls (and gay men) who want to survey the status of a relationship. Chances are, the guy (or somewhat dignified girl) has to sugarcoat the fact that he or she is using said girl or gay guy for his or her body, and nothing more.
Boss: Sooo where do we stand? Did you implement that absurdly disinteresting software feature?
Employee: *closes multiple browser tabs* Uh... *takes out gun and shoots self in temple*
Employee: *closes multiple browser tabs* Uh... *takes out gun and shoots self in temple*
by PositiveZero March 16, 2007
One motivated by nothing but money (and maybe sex). An otherwise empty vessel that contributes next to nothing to process that he profits from.
Guy 1: The placement agent I talked to was all over the place when it came to how much money the position offered. Seems like he was just trying to placate me
Guy 2: Um, yeah. He's a headhunter, dude. In an industry of motherfucking vermin, he is the lowest of the fucking low. A bottomfeeder. Scum of the earth, man; a total greedtomaton.
Guy 2: Um, yeah. He's a headhunter, dude. In an industry of motherfucking vermin, he is the lowest of the fucking low. A bottomfeeder. Scum of the earth, man; a total greedtomaton.
by PositiveZero April 17, 2008
A quality possessed by hot girls; a portmanteau of damage and majesty. Derived from the fact that most hot girls have a myriad of psychological issues stemming from years of abuse by step-fathers and boyfriends selected for their desirably abusive tendencies.
VJ: Dude, that girl's so HOT. Look at all that majesty.
Mike: Whatever, dude - you see blond locks; I see damage.
VJ: Still, look at all that damagesty.
Mike: Whatever, dude - you see blond locks; I see damage.
VJ: Still, look at all that damagesty.
by PositiveZero January 22, 2007