PositiveZero's definitions
Almost having sex, but having the universe dick you over in some way. Like, so close that, could you freeze-frame the moment and displace a single electron one nanometer, sex would've occurred.
Guy1: She was totally into it, but wanted to wait until the next day to do it for the first time. Then she got back together with her boyfriend the next morning.
Guy2: Shoulda sealed the deal that night.
Guy1: Yeah, I got quantum-fucked.
Guy2: Shoulda sealed the deal that night.
Guy1: Yeah, I got quantum-fucked.
by PositiveZero January 13, 2009
Get the quantum-fucked mug.by PositiveZero October 18, 2008
Get the VPILF mug.Complete engrossment in one's Blackberry, resulting in voluntary blindness and total ignorance of one's environment.
VJ: Dude why did you plow over that old lady?
Mike: I just had to finish the last line of that email. Total blackberry blindness.
Mike: I just had to finish the last line of that email. Total blackberry blindness.
by PositiveZero April 11, 2008
Get the Blackberry blindness mug.A quality possessed by hot girls; a portmanteau of damage and majesty. Derived from the fact that most hot girls have a myriad of psychological issues stemming from years of abuse by step-fathers and boyfriends selected for their desirably abusive tendencies.
VJ: Dude, that girl's so HOT. Look at all that majesty.
Mike: Whatever, dude - you see blond locks; I see damage.
VJ: Still, look at all that damagesty.
Mike: Whatever, dude - you see blond locks; I see damage.
VJ: Still, look at all that damagesty.
by PositiveZero January 27, 2007
Get the damagesty mug.The most dreaded words in the English language. May be used by:
1) bosses to survey how productive an employee is being on a task. Chances are, said employee hasn't been working so much as he has been writing UrbanDictionary definitions.
2) girls (and gay men) who want to survey the status of a relationship. Chances are, the guy (or somewhat dignified girl) has to sugarcoat the fact that he or she is using said girl or gay guy for his or her body, and nothing more.
1) bosses to survey how productive an employee is being on a task. Chances are, said employee hasn't been working so much as he has been writing UrbanDictionary definitions.
2) girls (and gay men) who want to survey the status of a relationship. Chances are, the guy (or somewhat dignified girl) has to sugarcoat the fact that he or she is using said girl or gay guy for his or her body, and nothing more.
Boss: Sooo where do we stand? Did you implement that absurdly disinteresting software feature?
Employee: *closes multiple browser tabs* Uh... *takes out gun and shoots self in temple*
Employee: *closes multiple browser tabs* Uh... *takes out gun and shoots self in temple*
by PositiveZero March 17, 2007
Get the where do we stand? mug.The most flaccid statement in all of history. It is scientifically impossible to fit more ridiculous into three fucking words.
"Wait, so if nothing is impossible, is it possible that something IS impossible? Man, what the fuck."
by PositiveZero April 10, 2008
Get the Nothing is Impossible mug.When two people interlock faces such that each of their mouths is close to the other's ear. This is generally the only way to have a conversation in a crowded club or bar.
"I got the digits of this girl that was probably pretty hot. I'm not sure though, I didn't get a good look at her since we had to ear-69 to talk."
by PositiveZero June 19, 2008
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