Man, my grandma was really horny last night. I decided to oblige after she took her teeth out.
Fumbling in the poorly lit bedroom, I couldn't find my tube of lube. She moaned "give it to me Hansel!"
Shuddering with disgust, I closed off my left nostril and blew a filthy, brown-green snot clot all over her clitoris (which was withered and deformed with age).
Then I gave her a hard hump and had my first official booger sex.
Fumbling in the poorly lit bedroom, I couldn't find my tube of lube. She moaned "give it to me Hansel!"
Shuddering with disgust, I closed off my left nostril and blew a filthy, brown-green snot clot all over her clitoris (which was withered and deformed with age).
Then I gave her a hard hump and had my first official booger sex.
by Pollup November 15, 2007
The pubic hair of a woman with a ginger complexion. Gingers are redheaded and often have a large number of freckles either on their faces or possibly all over their bodies.
Given the rarity of true gingers, a ginger muff is often considered to be a topic of great excitement for men seeking the sexual conquest of a redheaded woman.
Given the rarity of true gingers, a ginger muff is often considered to be a topic of great excitement for men seeking the sexual conquest of a redheaded woman.
by Pollup November 24, 2007
When the tensions between two or more rival gangs reaches a critical point in which the outcomes of any violent act would be devastating to all parties.
In the early 1990s, when Whitey's control over street gangs was much more pronounced, the main fear during a situation of Street Brinkmanship was that violence would spill into the suburbs and cause the hammer of the white devil to fall from the sky. As a result, Street Brinkmanship was maintained through the practice of having satellite affiliate gangs perform indirect attacks on gang assets through much milder warfare. The warfare was often set up to look like "some crackhead" got his hands on a gun and blew a whole bunch of motherfuckers away.
Into the early 2000s, however, Whitey's control over street gang activities became less obvious (although farther reaching and exponentially more sophisticated). Only the most intelligent gang members were able to steer their "Ghetto Pirate Ships" through the webs of deceit that were woven by evil "Prime Movers" who governed the urban underworld from back rooms in sinister-looking high-rises. It was imperative, therefore, for all gangs to protect the unsettled peace that was imposed upon them for fear of repercussions unimaginable to mortal men.
In the early 1990s, when Whitey's control over street gangs was much more pronounced, the main fear during a situation of Street Brinkmanship was that violence would spill into the suburbs and cause the hammer of the white devil to fall from the sky. As a result, Street Brinkmanship was maintained through the practice of having satellite affiliate gangs perform indirect attacks on gang assets through much milder warfare. The warfare was often set up to look like "some crackhead" got his hands on a gun and blew a whole bunch of motherfuckers away.
Into the early 2000s, however, Whitey's control over street gang activities became less obvious (although farther reaching and exponentially more sophisticated). Only the most intelligent gang members were able to steer their "Ghetto Pirate Ships" through the webs of deceit that were woven by evil "Prime Movers" who governed the urban underworld from back rooms in sinister-looking high-rises. It was imperative, therefore, for all gangs to protect the unsettled peace that was imposed upon them for fear of repercussions unimaginable to mortal men.
Crip #1: I wanted to fuck that motherfucker up, but my man, Slimey, will let "The Old Man in the Tower" know about it and he'll feed my family to pigs.
Crip #2: That's fucked, man. I wish it was like the old days where you could go out and blast a motherfucker without having to get permission from some old white dude. The Bloods been waitin' for this motherfuckin' shit and we's afraid to deliver.
Crip #1: Chill it, bro. Let's keep waitin'. I don't want get no cement shoes or nothin'. A niggah will get his own when he has it comin'. Maintain, motherfucker. Maintain the Street Brinkmanship. Let's get us some tacos.
Crip #2: A'ight.
Crip #2: That's fucked, man. I wish it was like the old days where you could go out and blast a motherfucker without having to get permission from some old white dude. The Bloods been waitin' for this motherfuckin' shit and we's afraid to deliver.
Crip #1: Chill it, bro. Let's keep waitin'. I don't want get no cement shoes or nothin'. A niggah will get his own when he has it comin'. Maintain, motherfucker. Maintain the Street Brinkmanship. Let's get us some tacos.
Crip #2: A'ight.
by pollup December 29, 2007
When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you're talking about, so you run out to the garage and dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
by Pollup January 17, 2008
The term "one word" is used in place of the term "gay," usually in Politically correct environments such as offices or family dinners. The usage of the term "gay" in this instance refers to lame situations, not someone's sexual orientation.
The term only works when the speaker and the listener are both familiar with one another's lingo.
The term only works when the speaker and the listener are both familiar with one another's lingo.
Ernie: Hey Frankie, how was the weekend?
Frankie: Oh, it was pretty bad. My girlfriend made me watch Titanic and then she started singing along with that crappy Celine Dion song...
Ernie: One word.
Frankie: Indeed. One word.
Frankie: Oh, it was pretty bad. My girlfriend made me watch Titanic and then she started singing along with that crappy Celine Dion song...
Ernie: One word.
Frankie: Indeed. One word.
by Pollup December 02, 2007
When a girl's vagina tastes a little funny. Sometimes the "mutton-esque" flavour comes on as the result of middle age.
When you eat out the snatch of an 18-year old girl, it tastes quite a bit like lamb chops.
But when you eat out some dirty old cougar, it tastes kinda wonky. A mutton cunt!
BAAAAAAA!
But when you eat out some dirty old cougar, it tastes kinda wonky. A mutton cunt!
BAAAAAAA!
by Pollup January 10, 2008
When a big fat guy steps on your belly and ruptures your intestines. The poop squishes down into you scrotum causing your testicles to get all shitty.
by Pollup December 03, 2007