Pollup's definitions
When a girl's vagina tastes a little funny. Sometimes the "mutton-esque" flavour comes on as the result of middle age.
When you eat out the snatch of an 18-year old girl, it tastes quite a bit like lamb chops.
But when you eat out some dirty old cougar, it tastes kinda wonky. A mutton cunt!
BAAAAAAA!
But when you eat out some dirty old cougar, it tastes kinda wonky. A mutton cunt!
BAAAAAAA!
by Pollup January 14, 2008
Get the mutton cunt mug.When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you're talking about, so you run out to the garage and dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
by Pollup January 18, 2008
Get the Burlap Sack Condom mug.Not quite the same as wigger-speak, Suburb Ebonics is a form of language used by middle class white kids who secretly wish that they were black but won't admit it to anyone.
Commonly, the white males get together on the weekend and binge drink (often a college activity) and mystically start "talking like black people" after they've had 10 drinks. Of course, the style of speech in no way reflects the way that black people actually talk, but at least they're trying.
The hilarious thing about these homos is that they would never in a million years talk that way around another black dude. It's like a strange style of speech that is preserved entirely for the whitey club. It makes them feel like they have a cause in life - like they were oppressed and have to be gangstas to rebel against the man. Unfortunately for them, their Dads bought them their cars and the worst thing that ever happened to them is getting busted smoking crappy weed in the basement.
The tragic thing about these pathetic white kids is that they are secretly cowards who run away from fights, can't hold their liquor, are literally frightened by black people and the worst thing they've ever done is break a window. Suburb Ebonics is like a cover for "HUGE GIANT PUSSY."
Commonly, the white males get together on the weekend and binge drink (often a college activity) and mystically start "talking like black people" after they've had 10 drinks. Of course, the style of speech in no way reflects the way that black people actually talk, but at least they're trying.
The hilarious thing about these homos is that they would never in a million years talk that way around another black dude. It's like a strange style of speech that is preserved entirely for the whitey club. It makes them feel like they have a cause in life - like they were oppressed and have to be gangstas to rebel against the man. Unfortunately for them, their Dads bought them their cars and the worst thing that ever happened to them is getting busted smoking crappy weed in the basement.
The tragic thing about these pathetic white kids is that they are secretly cowards who run away from fights, can't hold their liquor, are literally frightened by black people and the worst thing they've ever done is break a window. Suburb Ebonics is like a cover for "HUGE GIANT PUSSY."
The Tragic End of Suburb Ebonics at Lonnie's House:
Lonnie: sup Beaker? Man, I fucked that guy up in that fight last night. Muthuh fuckuh. He was all like "whaaaa, I'm a loser." Then I smacked that bitch UP!
Beaker: Yeah L-dog. S'right. You messed that muthuh fucuh UP right on him an shit. That's some fucking wick-ass shit.
Lonnie: A'ight
Beaker: Ok, dude...I can't do this anymore. We didn't get in a fight. We sat here and talked like retards for three hours last night. I gotta go. My Dad said not to stay out too late. We've been doing the same thing every weekend for 6 years!
Lonnie: But...but...dude? What's wrong here?
Beaker: Nothing. I have to go. Sorry dude. This is just way too gay. See ya.
Lonnie: sup Beaker? Man, I fucked that guy up in that fight last night. Muthuh fuckuh. He was all like "whaaaa, I'm a loser." Then I smacked that bitch UP!
Beaker: Yeah L-dog. S'right. You messed that muthuh fucuh UP right on him an shit. That's some fucking wick-ass shit.
Lonnie: A'ight
Beaker: Ok, dude...I can't do this anymore. We didn't get in a fight. We sat here and talked like retards for three hours last night. I gotta go. My Dad said not to stay out too late. We've been doing the same thing every weekend for 6 years!
Lonnie: But...but...dude? What's wrong here?
Beaker: Nothing. I have to go. Sorry dude. This is just way too gay. See ya.
by Pollup January 18, 2008
Get the Suburb Ebonics mug.When a terrorist is about to set off a suicide bomb in the middle of a Middle Eastern market and shits himself before he can set off the bomb. Generally, the poo flies all over the place and ruins all the food in the market.
Akmed: sup Mohammed? Wow, this market is really packed, eh? Check out Abdul with his big, fancy chicken stand over there. Oh, look at me; I'm Abdul and I think I'm so important with my magical chicken stand. I provide protein for people and think I'm the hottest shit in town.
Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?
Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.
Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.
Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -
************BOOM************!
Akmed: What happened?
Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!
Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?
Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.
Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.
Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.
Akmed: Let's go take a shower.
Mohammed: uh...
Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?
Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.
Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.
Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -
************BOOM************!
Akmed: What happened?
Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!
Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?
Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.
Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.
Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.
Akmed: Let's go take a shower.
Mohammed: uh...
by Pollup January 31, 2008
Get the Suicide Shitter mug.When a porn movie is about, features, or includes some kind of diarrhea in someone's mouth or snootch.
by Pollup February 3, 2008
Get the Diarrhea Porn mug.Imagine you're getting head from a chunky fat chick. She drops to her knees, causing a thunderous, earthquake-like shimmy in your house as she hits the floor. You look her in the eyes, disgusted at yourself for your disgusting fat chick blow job habit. Sick.
Before she envelops your cock with her slovenly horse gullet, you cram your finger up your nose and pull out the filthiest booger in history. You slather it all over your cock and cry "give me a salty cabbage, baby!"
She complies. And cries a little afterwards.
Before she envelops your cock with her slovenly horse gullet, you cram your finger up your nose and pull out the filthiest booger in history. You slather it all over your cock and cry "give me a salty cabbage, baby!"
She complies. And cries a little afterwards.
by Pollup November 4, 2007
Get the salty cabbage mug.Man, my grandma was really horny last night. I decided to oblige after she took her teeth out.
Fumbling in the poorly lit bedroom, I couldn't find my tube of lube. She moaned "give it to me Hansel!"
Shuddering with disgust, I closed off my left nostril and blew a filthy, brown-green snot clot all over her clitoris (which was withered and deformed with age).
Then I gave her a hard hump and had my first official booger sex.
Fumbling in the poorly lit bedroom, I couldn't find my tube of lube. She moaned "give it to me Hansel!"
Shuddering with disgust, I closed off my left nostril and blew a filthy, brown-green snot clot all over her clitoris (which was withered and deformed with age).
Then I gave her a hard hump and had my first official booger sex.
by Pollup December 11, 2007
Get the booger sex mug.