Phineas T's definitions
As close to erect as a penis can possibly get without standing up or sticking out. The state of full hanging engorgement.
The optimum conditions for a soft core full frontal Playgirl photo shoot.
Deceiving because one assumes that if it's still hanging down it's gonna be bigger standing up when in fact that's all there is.
The optimum conditions for a soft core full frontal Playgirl photo shoot.
Deceiving because one assumes that if it's still hanging down it's gonna be bigger standing up when in fact that's all there is.
Cinema appreciator 1: "You saw the end of Boogie Nights, little Marky Mark is hung like a bull moose!"
Cinema appreciator 2: "The hell he is! That was maximum tumescence in repose."
Cinema appreciator 2: "The hell he is! That was maximum tumescence in repose."
by Phineas T April 9, 2008
Get the maximum tumescence in reposemug. the stick thin and freakishly tall adolescent girl creatures who actually work in the fashion industry in print and runway (as opposed to normally proportioned adult females who lug modeling portfolios but work as waiters) they can often be found in little clusters along 7th avenue in manhattan, taking in sustenance and trying to avoid predators wherever zero calorie snacks are sold.
Does your building have an agency in it or something? I was almost trampled by a herd of baby giraffes in the lobby.
by Phineas T April 24, 2009
Get the baby giraffemug. A gangbang, but specifically a gangbang with a stripper or professional sex worker of some type. The implication is an impromptu gangbang usually with the stripper hired in for a bachelor party, or the strip-a-gram girl sent out to some other type of stag event or sausage fest.
While not an event which to fit the definition requires consent, there is some implication of it being a business transaction, the terms might not be particularly favorable for the provider as the settled upon price may have been influenced by the fact that the provider was naked and outnumbered.
As expected, this occurs more frequently when the sex worker is inexperienced or unprepared for the scene, but it also tends to plague providers who are overweight or are less attractive for some reason or another.
When a Happy Funtime Party is initiated because the party goers were disappointed with the stripper the ensuing activity can easily degenerate into a Pig Fucking Contest.
While not an event which to fit the definition requires consent, there is some implication of it being a business transaction, the terms might not be particularly favorable for the provider as the settled upon price may have been influenced by the fact that the provider was naked and outnumbered.
As expected, this occurs more frequently when the sex worker is inexperienced or unprepared for the scene, but it also tends to plague providers who are overweight or are less attractive for some reason or another.
When a Happy Funtime Party is initiated because the party goers were disappointed with the stripper the ensuing activity can easily degenerate into a Pig Fucking Contest.
That may have been the most whiskey tango bachelor party I've ever attended, the stripper was pushing 40 and had a prosthetic leg and a lazy eye and she took an extra fifty to upgrade the toy show into a happy funtime party.
by Phineas T July 5, 2009
Get the Happy Funtime Partymug. An onomatopoeic verb used to describe the act of vomiting when the vomiter is a dog or cat.
On some pets it can actually take on a sort of brass pipes and plunger tone.... after an evening where you stupidly let your dog finish the left over onion and anchovy pizza and are awakened to that terrifying "KA-Churg! KA-Churg! KA-Churg! sound and poor Bowzer in a muzzle down reverse hunch stepping slowly backwards across the foot of your bed...... the series of "KA-Churg!"'s ends with a louder "Ka-Kack!" when the offending substance is finally laid half digested on the bedspread your sainted grandma knitted in the old country.
On some pets it can actually take on a sort of brass pipes and plunger tone.... after an evening where you stupidly let your dog finish the left over onion and anchovy pizza and are awakened to that terrifying "KA-Churg! KA-Churg! KA-Churg! sound and poor Bowzer in a muzzle down reverse hunch stepping slowly backwards across the foot of your bed...... the series of "KA-Churg!"'s ends with a louder "Ka-Kack!" when the offending substance is finally laid half digested on the bedspread your sainted grandma knitted in the old country.
"Sorry I'm so out of it today, Bowser kachurged cup-o-pizza all over my bed in the middle of the night and I had to get up to try and save my sainted grandma's bedspread that she knitted in the old country. After that I couldn't get back to sleep."
by Phineas T April 9, 2009
Get the kachurgmug. The business issues related to not demanding payment up front and by allowing a customer to set a price after services are rendered.
A classic red flag in the services industry.
In sex work this tends to be more of an issue for semi-pros and "friendly gals" looking to pick up some extra cash than it is for genuine mercenary hookers.
The phrase is commonly applied to any service business where there is no product that can be returned (house cleaning, tree surgery, psychotherapy, hot dog vending, midwifery, meth dealing, lap dancing, wedding singing, etc)
From a customer perspective the value of a service is worth less after it has been delivered.
Being asked to do something on the basis that you will be paid according to the customer's view of the value afterwards.
A man in a titty bar will pay $300 for a ten minute hands-off pants-up lap dance after three vodka-redbulls and an hour or two of watching T&A.
If the same dancer meets him after work instead and screws him at a motel and asks for a tip afterwards he'll notice that she has a caesarean scar and that her boobs are a little lopsided and she wouldn't let him touch her hair and her teeth are kinda yellow and besides... she liked it too. and offer her $50 bux.
(conversely, getting a customer to set a price before service and pre-pay or contract to pay that price can often benefit the service provider. People tend to inflate the value of services they hope to acquire)
A classic red flag in the services industry.
In sex work this tends to be more of an issue for semi-pros and "friendly gals" looking to pick up some extra cash than it is for genuine mercenary hookers.
The phrase is commonly applied to any service business where there is no product that can be returned (house cleaning, tree surgery, psychotherapy, hot dog vending, midwifery, meth dealing, lap dancing, wedding singing, etc)
From a customer perspective the value of a service is worth less after it has been delivered.
Being asked to do something on the basis that you will be paid according to the customer's view of the value afterwards.
A man in a titty bar will pay $300 for a ten minute hands-off pants-up lap dance after three vodka-redbulls and an hour or two of watching T&A.
If the same dancer meets him after work instead and screws him at a motel and asks for a tip afterwards he'll notice that she has a caesarean scar and that her boobs are a little lopsided and she wouldn't let him touch her hair and her teeth are kinda yellow and besides... she liked it too. and offer her $50 bux.
(conversely, getting a customer to set a price before service and pre-pay or contract to pay that price can often benefit the service provider. People tend to inflate the value of services they hope to acquire)
"When I do emergency tech work I let the customer pay what they think the service was worth after I fix the problem, but I avoid the whore's dilemma by making it clear that their level of monetary appreciation will determine the priority I give them when responding to future emergencies."
by Phineas T January 19, 2009
Get the Whore's Dilemmamug.