12 definitions by Phineas T

A portion of a party stripper's show where she uses sex toys like dildos etc.
This part of the event can sometimes include audience participation and tricks or gags like shooting ping pong balls or puffing a cigarette or cigar with her girl parts.
The stripper at the bachelor party did a toyshow where she let the groom use a dildo on her and then shot ping pong balls across the room with her snatch.
by Phineas T July 5, 2009
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The now obsolete name for the male facial hair feature now known as a Douche Tag or Dork Tuft.

Historically known also as a Sax Player's Moustache

It consists of a tuft of hair left unshaven just under the lower lip, upper lip and chin are clean shaven.

Sported with and without sideburns of varying ludicrous lengths.
Jeebus! That Soul Patch makes you look like a douche!
by Phineas T July 5, 2009
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As close to erect as a penis can possibly get without standing up or sticking out. The state of full hanging engorgement.
The optimum conditions for a soft core full frontal Playgirl photo shoot.
Deceiving because one assumes that if it's still hanging down it's gonna be bigger standing up when in fact that's all there is.
Cinema appreciator 1: "You saw the end of Boogie Nights, little Marky Mark is hung like a bull moose!"
Cinema appreciator 2: "The hell he is! That was maximum tumescence in repose."
by Phineas T April 9, 2008
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An onomatopoeic verb used to describe the act of vomiting when the vomiter is a dog or cat.
On some pets it can actually take on a sort of brass pipes and plunger tone.... after an evening where you stupidly let your dog finish the left over onion and anchovy pizza and are awakened to that terrifying "KA-Churg! KA-Churg! KA-Churg! sound and poor Bowzer in a muzzle down reverse hunch stepping slowly backwards across the foot of your bed...... the series of "KA-Churg!"'s ends with a louder "Ka-Kack!" when the offending substance is finally laid half digested on the bedspread your sainted grandma knitted in the old country.
"Sorry I'm so out of it today, Bowser kachurged cup-o-pizza all over my bed in the middle of the night and I had to get up to try and save my sainted grandma's bedspread that she knitted in the old country. After that I couldn't get back to sleep."
by Phineas T April 9, 2009
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The obsolete name for the male facial hair feature formerly known as a Soul Patch or and now more properly called a Douche Tag.

It consists of a tuft of hair left unshaven just under the lower lip, upper lip and chin are clean shaven.
Sported with and without sideburns of varying ludicrous lengths.
"Dude! You ought to grow a sax player's moustache! Play up the beat poet thing." "No thanks, I tried it in high school when I believed I was going to grow up to be Charles Bukowski, turns out it does nothing to improve your brand with girls, it has no ability to increase your alcohol tolerance and it ups your chances of getting punched in the face by strangers like ten fold."
by Phineas T April 4, 2009
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An extremely rough and competitive gang bang or gang rape. Can involve an overweight or unattractive woman but not technically required.
As a competition it is scored loosely by the other participants. Rating each other on technique, creativity, duration, amplitude, modulation, depravity and unnecessary roughness.
It was clear to the members of the Omega Sigma Tau outlaw Bike Gang and tea society that MaryLou had agreed to to be the playing field for a pig fucking contest when she chose to drink the beer with the roofy in it.
by Phineas T June 27, 2009
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A gangbang, but specifically a gangbang with a stripper or professional sex worker of some type. The implication is an impromptu gangbang usually with the stripper hired in for a bachelor party, or the strip-a-gram girl sent out to some other type of stag event or sausage fest.
While not an event which to fit the definition requires consent, there is some implication of it being a business transaction, the terms might not be particularly favorable for the provider as the settled upon price may have been influenced by the fact that the provider was naked and outnumbered.
As expected, this occurs more frequently when the sex worker is inexperienced or unprepared for the scene, but it also tends to plague providers who are overweight or are less attractive for some reason or another.
When a Happy Funtime Party is initiated because the party goers were disappointed with the stripper the ensuing activity can easily degenerate into a Pig Fucking Contest.
That may have been the most whiskey tango bachelor party I've ever attended, the stripper was pushing 40 and had a prosthetic leg and a lazy eye and she took an extra fifty to upgrade the toy show into a happy funtime party.
by Phineas T July 5, 2009
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