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Definitions by Phil Bailey

Sports invest 

The investment of funds, paid to a bookie, betting on the outcome of a sporting event
"I need some extra cash, hmmm, i know, i'll throw three hundred bucks on the Melbourne Storm against the Panthers, that has got to be a lock of the week"
Sports invest by Phil Bailey April 14, 2005

Fancy black hair

The condition whereby a man with black hair takes an inordinately and suspiciously long time at the hair dresser
"You know that Duffield is a miserable cunt, you know the cunt who decided to hang my shit out the window?"
"What the guy with the red hair?"
"NO, DUFFIELD'S THE CUNT WITH THE FANCY BLACK HAIR!!!!"
Fancy black hair by Phil Bailey April 14, 2005

Don't you judge me

Used as an exclamation against those who seek to take the moral highground and pass judgement, when they have no such right to pass judgement
(random person living life of quiet desperation): "that is sick that you fucked your sister"
(God's lonely man): "Don't you judge me!"

Five way friday 

Having sex with five people, on a friday
"Damn, I can't wait for five way friday"
Five way friday by Phil Bailey April 13, 2005

Hummer girl 

Girl employed to do nothing other than give you a hummer
"when i win the lottery, i am getting a hummer girl"
Hummer girl by Phil Bailey April 13, 2005

split the charge

A non-existent defence, used by those who mistakenly believe that if a crime is committed in conjunction with others, the charge can be split, thereby reducing one's sentence (has been used in conjunction with the defence bender your honour)
"Bender your Honour! My client was hoping that as he committed the offence with his two mates, they could all split the charge"
(Judge) "throw the defendant in jail!"
split the charge by Phil Bailey April 13, 2005

Meth breath 

The condition experienced after an all night bender, whereby one's breath takes the form of methylated spirits fumes
"Oh god, i am never drinking again, I have the worst meth breath ever, here, pass me a mint will you"
Meth breath by Phil Bailey April 13, 2005