Peter Greenwall's definitions

obspervant

(adj.) The uncanny ability to observe your surroundings with a totally innocent yet undeniably pervy undertone. Whether it’s clocking every gym bro flexing in a tank top, side-eyeing that audaciously short skirt, or mentally cataloging every exposed tattoo in sight, you just have an eye for noticing sexiness wherever you go

Often accompanied by a running internal monologue:
“Is that even legal to wear in public?!”
“OMG, is it me, or is everyone else this obspervant?”

“I wasn’t creeping, I’m just naturally #Obspervant.”

Warning: High levels of #Obspervant behavior may lead to embarrassing slip-ups like audibly gasping at someone’s daring outfit. Proceed with caution and sunglasses.

by Peter Greenwall November 10, 2024

voice-prompt hell

the frustration experienced when dialling a large organization to speak to a real person about a specific query that isn't covered by the maze of multiple automated options, and / or the voice recognition system can't understand you

I just spent at least 10 minutes in voice-prompt hell trying to speak to someone about my traffic fine, only to discover at the end there's an option to press zero to speak to a real person

by Peter Greenwall July 6, 2011

Recipussity

the modern rebranding of reciprocity in transactional relationships, where the give and take is crystal clear: he offers finance security, or unsolicited display of affection (random dic pic) and she offers her... well assets. Think of it as the mutual exchange economy for trophy vibes and bedroom favours

Dude, I paid for her nails, dinner and that surprise spa day - don't you think a little #recipussity is fair?

by Peter Greenwall December 12, 2024

go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings'

a novel way to start offering advice and easy solutions to complex problems

Example 1:

I don't know what to do - my boyfriend can't stop turning his head at anything in a short dress and stilettos. I find it really humiliating.

ah yes, go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings' and then adjust his horndog settings to what you'd like them to be

Example 2:

what are we going to do about the energy crisis and global warming?

go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings', click on 'energy efficiency' and then next to that you'll see 'make the world a lot more energy efficient'

Example 3:

How do I stop my boyfriend from farting so much?

go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings' and then 'flatulence'...

by Peter Greenwall March 2, 2011

yogalingus

cunnilingus and yoga combined - 'for the mind,spirit and tongue'

that ballet dancer has the most perfect yogalingus body

that gymnast is giving me so many new yogalingus ideas

our yoga teacher showed us 4 new positions perfect for yogalingus - frog pose, camel pose, boat pose and cobblers pose

try saying 'the myth of miss muffet' or 'noose noshing much mush' - it's like yogalingus for your tongue

by Peter Greenwall February 4, 2009

Upgrade High

that short-lived personal satisfaction you get just after upgrading your software to the latest version

oh what an upgrade high I'm on - I'm now running the latest version of Skype, BBM and BB Sync for Mac. Pity it will only last a few days...

by Peter Greenwall November 13, 2011

Ashed in

stuck where you are due to volcanic ash grounding all flights

excuse me, how long are we gonna be ashed in for?

impossible to say, the last time Eyjafjallajokull erupted it went on for 2 years. But I doubt you'll be ashed in for that long

by Peter Greenwall April 18, 2010