Peter Greenwall's definitions

Ashed in

stuck where you are due to volcanic ash grounding all flights

excuse me, how long are we gonna be ashed in for?

impossible to say, the last time Eyjafjallajokull erupted it went on for 2 years. But I doubt you'll be ashed in for that long

by Peter Greenwall April 18, 2010

Multiple HARASMS

(Hyper Awareness of Realworld And Social Media Simultaneously) - the ability to post on social media while also being fully present in the moment

PETER: What kind of Social Media Whore are you that you can't put your phone away at this concert and just enjoy it, you know? FFS live in the moment! Why do you have to constantly video, tweet and post about it?

TONI: Because Ive taught myself to have Multiple HARASMS

by Peter Greenwall September 26, 2018

Recipussity

the modern rebranding of reciprocity in transactional relationships, where the give and take is crystal clear: he offers finance security, or unsolicited display of affection (random dic pic) and she offers her... well assets. Think of it as the mutual exchange economy for trophy vibes and bedroom favours

Dude, I paid for her nails, dinner and that surprise spa day - don't you think a little #recipussity is fair?

by Peter Greenwall December 12, 2024

yogalingus

cunnilingus and yoga combined - 'for the mind,spirit and tongue'

that ballet dancer has the most perfect yogalingus body

that gymnast is giving me so many new yogalingus ideas

our yoga teacher showed us 4 new positions perfect for yogalingus - frog pose, camel pose, boat pose and cobblers pose

try saying 'the myth of miss muffet' or 'noose noshing much mush' - it's like yogalingus for your tongue

by Peter Greenwall February 4, 2009

Mystonomy

the taxonomy of mysteries; the practice of labeling confusion in order to make new conditions or weird phenomena feel understandable and normal

all entries in the urban dictionary come about through mystonomy

why do I feel the need to chase supermodels and buy sports cars even though I’m married with kids? via mystonomy, that becomes ‘mid-life crisis’ (source unknown)

why do I feel depressed? via mystonomy: ‘depression' (source unknown)

how is it that we don't fall off the planet? via mystonomy: 'gravity' by Isaac Newton

why am I utterly bored at work? via mystonomy: 'boreout' by Peter Werder

why does my penis shrink when it gets cold? via mystonomy: 'shrinkage' by Seinfeld

by Peter Greenwall February 4, 2009

go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings'

a novel way to start offering advice and easy solutions to complex problems

Example 1:

I don't know what to do - my boyfriend can't stop turning his head at anything in a short dress and stilettos. I find it really humiliating.

ah yes, go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings' and then adjust his horndog settings to what you'd like them to be

Example 2:

what are we going to do about the energy crisis and global warming?

go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings', click on 'energy efficiency' and then next to that you'll see 'make the world a lot more energy efficient'

Example 3:

How do I stop my boyfriend from farting so much?

go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings' and then 'flatulence'...

by Peter Greenwall March 2, 2011

raging groupon

an obsessive desire to participate in the latest groupon deal

I woke up with a raging groupon this morn - inbox filled with so many exciting deals, what to do?? apple mini speakers? anti-stress facial? love massage neck pillow? ooh the flotation pool treatment looks good, but then so does a Indian head neck & shoulder, or a photoshoot I could justify, somehow. Hey anyone know what the regular price of non invasive ultrasound liposuction is? How do I know $240 is a good deal?

by Peter Greenwall November 7, 2011