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Peter Greenwall's definitions

Mystonomy

the taxonomy of mysteries; the practice of labeling confusion in order to make new conditions or weird phenomena feel understandable and normal
all entries in the urban dictionary come about through mystonomy

why do I feel the need to chase supermodels and buy sports cars even though I’m married with kids? via mystonomy, that becomes ‘mid-life crisis’ (source unknown)

why do I feel depressed? via mystonomy: ‘depression' (source unknown)

how is it that we don't fall off the planet? via mystonomy: 'gravity' by Isaac Newton

why am I utterly bored at work? via mystonomy: 'boreout' by Peter Werder

why does my penis shrink when it gets cold? via mystonomy: 'shrinkage' by Seinfeld
by Peter Greenwall February 4, 2009
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yogalingus

cunnilingus and yoga combined - 'for the mind,spirit and tongue'
that ballet dancer has the most perfect yogalingus body

that gymnast is giving me so many new yogalingus ideas

our yoga teacher showed us 4 new positions perfect for yogalingus - frog pose, camel pose, boat pose and cobblers pose

try saying 'the myth of miss muffet' or 'noose noshing much mush' - it's like yogalingus for your tongue
by Peter Greenwall February 4, 2009
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go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings'

a novel way to start offering advice and easy solutions to complex problems
Example 1:

I don't know what to do - my boyfriend can't stop turning his head at anything in a short dress and stilettos. I find it really humiliating.

ah yes, go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings' and then adjust his horndog settings to what you'd like them to be

Example 2:

what are we going to do about the energy crisis and global warming?

go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings', click on 'energy efficiency' and then next to that you'll see 'make the world a lot more energy efficient'

Example 3:

How do I stop my boyfriend from farting so much?

go to 'start' 'control panel' 'settings' and then 'flatulence'...
by Peter Greenwall March 2, 2011
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Date Rip

an expensive date that leads nowhere
Leon: hey how did your date go with that girl you met on facebook?

Peter: Holy crap dude, complete date rip!! She gets nailed on 3 mojitos, orders the seafood platter, bitched about all her cheap friends, doesn't even offer to pay when the bill comes, and then when I take her home she blows me a kiss and says 'call me'.
by Peter Greenwall January 22, 2010
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FABOL (FABOLLING)

FABOL: Fashionable Adjective Based On Lifestyle

Fabolling: (pr like 'labeling')
remixing a trendy adjective to sell your product
examples of a FABOL (FABOLLING)

dolphin friendly cars
eco-friendly movies
organic cellphones
carbon neutral Sky TV
fairtrade lesbian pornography – where all actresses were paid a minimum of $1000 per scene, so no exploitation going on here folks
by Peter Greenwall February 4, 2009
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Recipussity

the modern rebranding of reciprocity in transactional relationships, where the give and take is crystal clear: he offers finance security, or unsolicited display of affection (random dic pic) and she offers her... well assets. Think of it as the mutual exchange economy for trophy vibes and bedroom favours
Dude, I paid for her nails, dinner and that surprise spa day - don't you think a little #recipussity is fair?
by Peter Greenwall December 12, 2024
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obspervant

(adj.) The uncanny ability to observe your surroundings with a totally innocent yet undeniably pervy undertone. Whether it’s clocking every gym bro flexing in a tank top, side-eyeing that audaciously short skirt, or mentally cataloging every exposed tattoo in sight, you just have an eye for noticing sexiness wherever you go

Often accompanied by a running internal monologue:
“Is that even legal to wear in public?!”
“OMG, is it me, or is everyone else this obspervant?”
“I wasn’t creeping, I’m just naturally #Obspervant.”

Warning: High levels of #Obspervant behavior may lead to embarrassing slip-ups like audibly gasping at someone’s daring outfit. Proceed with caution and sunglasses.
by Peter Greenwall November 10, 2024
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