(sub-variant of hairnosis)
A form of visual "hypnosis" used to make people think, at first glance and hopefully longer, that you are more attractive than you actually are through the use of:
- a great abundance of natural blonde hair,
or, more often,
- a great abundance of bleached blonde hair.
The goal is to divert attention from one's plain or unattractive face, or unattractive body. This purposeful deception falls between "accentuating the positives" of one's appearance and actually undergoing cosmetic surgery or liposuction.
A form of visual "hypnosis" used to make people think, at first glance and hopefully longer, that you are more attractive than you actually are through the use of:
- a great abundance of natural blonde hair,
or, more often,
- a great abundance of bleached blonde hair.
The goal is to divert attention from one's plain or unattractive face, or unattractive body. This purposeful deception falls between "accentuating the positives" of one's appearance and actually undergoing cosmetic surgery or liposuction.
Brunettes and redheads think that women who use blondenosis are stupid and fake (but not as stupid as the guys who are deceived by it).
Brunette at party: "Can't that cute guy see that fake blonde for what she is?"
Redhead at party: "Only if he snaps out of the blondenosis by taking a long, second look."
Brunette at party: "Can't that cute guy see that fake blonde for what she is?"
Redhead at party: "Only if he snaps out of the blondenosis by taking a long, second look."
by One Stark Reality April 11, 2008
Get the blondenosis mug.Usually known by the acronym SIF, a secret internet fatty posts photographs of themselves on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise their obesity. Classic examples usually include a combination of:
- close-up head or face shots
- extremely high or overhead camera angles
- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.
Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception.
Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.
(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?
Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child).
To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.
To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
- close-up head or face shots
- extremely high or overhead camera angles
- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.
Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception.
Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.
(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?
Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child).
To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.
To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
>>>>>
SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another secret internet fatty with delusions of grandeur.
SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another secret internet fatty with delusions of grandeur.
by One Stark Reality September 19, 2009
Get the Secret Internet Fatty mug.A combination of "boobs" and "tunnel vision" that hinders men from looking a well endowed woman in the face.
One group of women find this very irritating and assign all sorts of presumed motives to the man in question (especially if they're lesbians): "he's objectifying me", "I have a brain", "he doesn't take me seriously", "what a jerk", "stop gawking", etc. In protest, these women often remark "stop talking to my tits" or wear tight t-shirts (with an upward pointing arrow) that says "Hey! I'm up here." Whether the presumptions about these men are actually true depends on the man in question.
A second group of women understand that having a natural C cup, or larger, bust line (without being fat), is a blessing. (34 D is ideal of course). To these women, if the man with booblevision is a nice, decent, responsible guy, with a sense of humor (and could be introduced to their parents) then they are flattered to some degree. They know that this guy has an appreciation for their beauty in the same way that he appreciates: a Key West sunset, a polished red Ferrari, an otter playing in the wild, a perfectly thrown football, or even the Blue Angels executing an aerial fleur de lis.
A third group is not the least bit offended, because they are getting what they want. They use boobnosis and whatever "charm" they possess to try and overcome whatever they're lacking in physical attractiveness. In order to avoid the probability of contracting a myriad of STDs, some men will limit their sexual contact with this group to titty sex (use your imagination). These women are the diametric opposite of the first group.
And lastly, members of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee have rarely, if ever, personally experienced booblevision and so, ironically, may yearn to be occasionally objectified or gawked at. This attitude is the bane of feminism.
One group of women find this very irritating and assign all sorts of presumed motives to the man in question (especially if they're lesbians): "he's objectifying me", "I have a brain", "he doesn't take me seriously", "what a jerk", "stop gawking", etc. In protest, these women often remark "stop talking to my tits" or wear tight t-shirts (with an upward pointing arrow) that says "Hey! I'm up here." Whether the presumptions about these men are actually true depends on the man in question.
A second group of women understand that having a natural C cup, or larger, bust line (without being fat), is a blessing. (34 D is ideal of course). To these women, if the man with booblevision is a nice, decent, responsible guy, with a sense of humor (and could be introduced to their parents) then they are flattered to some degree. They know that this guy has an appreciation for their beauty in the same way that he appreciates: a Key West sunset, a polished red Ferrari, an otter playing in the wild, a perfectly thrown football, or even the Blue Angels executing an aerial fleur de lis.
A third group is not the least bit offended, because they are getting what they want. They use boobnosis and whatever "charm" they possess to try and overcome whatever they're lacking in physical attractiveness. In order to avoid the probability of contracting a myriad of STDs, some men will limit their sexual contact with this group to titty sex (use your imagination). These women are the diametric opposite of the first group.
And lastly, members of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee have rarely, if ever, personally experienced booblevision and so, ironically, may yearn to be occasionally objectified or gawked at. This attitude is the bane of feminism.
Roderick: "Yo Reggie, check out dat foo Leroy. He bees gotsin' da booblevision again."
Reggie: "Man, dat dude ain't no playa. He don't even wait 'till da ho' turn her head away to be peepin' at dem titties."
Reggie: "Man, dat dude ain't no playa. He don't even wait 'till da ho' turn her head away to be peepin' at dem titties."
by One Stark Reality April 11, 2008
Get the booblevision mug.A form of visual "hypnosis" used to make people think, at first glance and hopefully longer, that you are more attractive than you actually are through the use of long, shapely legs coupled with:
- short skirts
- short shorts (aka Daisy Dukes)
- high heels
- eye-catching stockings, tights or pantyhose.
The goal is to divert attention from one's plain or unattractive face, or otherwise unattractive body. This purposeful deception falls between "accentuating the positives" of one's appearance and actually undergoing cosmetic surgery or liposuction.
- short skirts
- short shorts (aka Daisy Dukes)
- high heels
- eye-catching stockings, tights or pantyhose.
The goal is to divert attention from one's plain or unattractive face, or otherwise unattractive body. This purposeful deception falls between "accentuating the positives" of one's appearance and actually undergoing cosmetic surgery or liposuction.
"Those Coco Loco skanks always show up on weekends and use legnosis to try and attract guys. However, once the guys take a long, second look, the legnosis is dispelled and they are not duped by the subterfuge. Pudgy or ditzy, with too much make-up, I hope those skanks don't become skankasaurus-rexes."
by One Stark Reality April 11, 2008
Get the legnosis mug.A person who "reinvents the wheel" by posting non-slang, Wikipedia-like (or Dictionary.com) definitions to Urban Dictionary.
Urban Dictionary is more for slang, coined words, ghetto slang (ebonics), teenspeak, regional colloquialisms and other neologisms that are defined for the benefit of others (preferably with some wit and humor).
Urban Dictionary is more for slang, coined words, ghetto slang (ebonics), teenspeak, regional colloquialisms and other neologisms that are defined for the benefit of others (preferably with some wit and humor).
Contrasting examples:
MISOGYNIST (UrbanDictionarytard definition): A woman hater.
MISOGYNIST (slang definition): A man who wins an argument with a feminist.
>>>>>>>>
RACIST (UrbanDictionarytard definition): Someone who feels racially superior, and exercises prejudice or negative attitudes towards people of a different skin color.
RACIST (slang definition): A statement of surrender during an argument.
When two people are engaged in an acrimonious debate, the one that first says "Racist!" has conceded defeat. Synonymous with saying "Resign" during a chess game.
"Racist" acquired this new meaning when debaters (predictably) used the term as an argument of last resort. (They couldn't prevail against logic, truth, and common sense, so they played the race card to try and eek out a victory).
>>>>>>>>
CLOWN (UrbanDictionarytard definition): a circus performer known for their comic antics, exaggerated physical features, brightly colored costumes, and heavy use of stage make-up.
CLOWN (slang definitions): 1. A person who is humorous without intention, therefore is a dumb mutha.
2. A girl who covers herself in so much makeup, the true flesh of her face is difficult or impossible to see.
>>>>>>>>
Do you see the difference in these examples???
MISOGYNIST (UrbanDictionarytard definition): A woman hater.
MISOGYNIST (slang definition): A man who wins an argument with a feminist.
>>>>>>>>
RACIST (UrbanDictionarytard definition): Someone who feels racially superior, and exercises prejudice or negative attitudes towards people of a different skin color.
RACIST (slang definition): A statement of surrender during an argument.
When two people are engaged in an acrimonious debate, the one that first says "Racist!" has conceded defeat. Synonymous with saying "Resign" during a chess game.
"Racist" acquired this new meaning when debaters (predictably) used the term as an argument of last resort. (They couldn't prevail against logic, truth, and common sense, so they played the race card to try and eek out a victory).
>>>>>>>>
CLOWN (UrbanDictionarytard definition): a circus performer known for their comic antics, exaggerated physical features, brightly colored costumes, and heavy use of stage make-up.
CLOWN (slang definitions): 1. A person who is humorous without intention, therefore is a dumb mutha.
2. A girl who covers herself in so much makeup, the true flesh of her face is difficult or impossible to see.
>>>>>>>>
Do you see the difference in these examples???
by One Stark Reality May 12, 2009
Get the UrbanDictionarytard mug.A form of visual "hypnosis" used to make people think, at first glance and hopefully longer, that you are more attractive than you actually are through the use of:
- a thong bikini bottom or g-string
- thong panties
- thong straps that conspicuously protrude from the waistline of a pair of jeans.
The goal is to divert attention from one's plain or unattractive face, or otherwise unattractive body. This purposeful deception falls between "accentuating the positives" of one's appearance and actually undergoing cosmetic surgery or liposuction.
This technique is more "equal opportunity" than boobnosis or legnosis (which are so DNA dependent) because of the woman's willingness to bare her butt in public. This carries a lot of weight with men.
The butt in question can actually be somewhat flat, large, or even slightly flabby, but these negative characteristics may be somewhat discounted as long as it is uncovered. A very attractive butt, of course, greatly enhances the overall thongnosis effect.
- a thong bikini bottom or g-string
- thong panties
- thong straps that conspicuously protrude from the waistline of a pair of jeans.
The goal is to divert attention from one's plain or unattractive face, or otherwise unattractive body. This purposeful deception falls between "accentuating the positives" of one's appearance and actually undergoing cosmetic surgery or liposuction.
This technique is more "equal opportunity" than boobnosis or legnosis (which are so DNA dependent) because of the woman's willingness to bare her butt in public. This carries a lot of weight with men.
The butt in question can actually be somewhat flat, large, or even slightly flabby, but these negative characteristics may be somewhat discounted as long as it is uncovered. A very attractive butt, of course, greatly enhances the overall thongnosis effect.
"There were three chicks at the pool party using thongnosis to try and attract guys. However, once they took a long, second look, the thongnosis was dispelled and they were not duped by the subterfuge. I hope those chicks don't become future cougars."
by One Stark Reality April 11, 2008
Get the thongnosis mug.A form of visual "hypnosis" used to make people think, at first glance and hopefully longer, that you are more attractive than you actually are through the use of:
-a great abundance of beautiful hair (either long, "big", or both).
The goal is to divert attention from one's plain or unattractive face, or unattractive body. This purposeful deception falls between "accentuating the positives" of one's appearance and actually undergoing cosmetic surgery or liposuction.
-a great abundance of beautiful hair (either long, "big", or both).
The goal is to divert attention from one's plain or unattractive face, or unattractive body. This purposeful deception falls between "accentuating the positives" of one's appearance and actually undergoing cosmetic surgery or liposuction.
When Meredith thinks that her powers of hairnosis are fading, she goes to a salon and spends 150 dollars for a "recharge." However, once guys take a long, second look, the hairnosis is dispelled and they are not duped by the subterfuge.
by One Stark Reality April 11, 2008
Get the hairnosis mug.