13 definitions by One Stark Reality
Father's Day in the ghetto.
LBJ's "War on Poverty" was a $5,000,000,000,000.00 boondoggle that destroys black families to this very day.
LBJ's "War on Poverty" was a $5,000,000,000,000.00 boondoggle that destroys black families to this very day.
Maury: "In our seemingly endless series on mass confusion, Boomsheeka 'Miss Thang' Chickenheader is about to find out the results of her 87th paternity test."
Boomsheeka: "This is gonna be the one Maury; I am sure this time. D'tronne is definitely the father."
Maury: (thinking to himself that he needs to get a REAL job) "D'tronne... is NOT the father!"
Boomsheeka: "Aiiiyeeeee!" (runs backsatge and slides down wall)
by One Stark Reality May 17, 2008
Usually known by the acronym SIF, a secret internet fatty posts photographs of themselves on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise their obesity. Classic examples usually include a combination of:
- close-up head or face shots
- extremely high or overhead camera angles
- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.
Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception.
Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.
(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?
Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child).
To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.
To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
- close-up head or face shots
- extremely high or overhead camera angles
- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.
Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception.
Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.
(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?
Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child).
To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.
To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
>>>>>
SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another secret internet fatty with delusions of grandeur.
SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another secret internet fatty with delusions of grandeur.
by One Stark Reality September 17, 2009
A male-oriented restaurant where the servers' bodacious, natural cleavage is never on the menu--but always in voluminous supply. Daisy Dukes in various forms (denim, khaki, Lycra) function to round out the servers' assets.
Openly admiring these women is an unspoken, but completely sanctioned, activity by all parties involved: owners, managers, servers, and patrons.
(With apologies to Yoda), "The force of booblevision is strong yes?"
Breastaurants are in a class by themselves. They are certainly above the mainstream in terms of atmosphere, but will never be considered fine dining by pretentious elitists who value "ambiance" (pronounced OM-bee-ahnse) over ample portions of, well... everything.
Breastaurant atmosphere is both fun and titillating. It gives new meaning to the phrase: "Let's head to the mountains!" Likewise, the food is a carnivore's delight.
As such, breastaurants send out a vibe that wards off feminists, vegans, and queer men in a TWO block radius.
See also: brestaurant, breastraunt.
Openly admiring these women is an unspoken, but completely sanctioned, activity by all parties involved: owners, managers, servers, and patrons.
(With apologies to Yoda), "The force of booblevision is strong yes?"
Breastaurants are in a class by themselves. They are certainly above the mainstream in terms of atmosphere, but will never be considered fine dining by pretentious elitists who value "ambiance" (pronounced OM-bee-ahnse) over ample portions of, well... everything.
Breastaurant atmosphere is both fun and titillating. It gives new meaning to the phrase: "Let's head to the mountains!" Likewise, the food is a carnivore's delight.
As such, breastaurants send out a vibe that wards off feminists, vegans, and queer men in a TWO block radius.
See also: brestaurant, breastraunt.
>>>>>
The Metroplex area really has it going on when it comes to breastaurant selection.
Between Twin Peaks, Bone Daddy's and Hooters, one can keep abreast of some of the finest female forms that America has to offer world humanity. Breastaurants should be declared "UNESCO World Heritage" sites.
UNESCO DELEGATE: "I agree! Twins, twins everywhere, it's a bodacious breastacular!
In my country of Crapistan the waitresses all wear BURQAS for Pete's sake! Oy vey."
The Metroplex area really has it going on when it comes to breastaurant selection.
Between Twin Peaks, Bone Daddy's and Hooters, one can keep abreast of some of the finest female forms that America has to offer world humanity. Breastaurants should be declared "UNESCO World Heritage" sites.
UNESCO DELEGATE: "I agree! Twins, twins everywhere, it's a bodacious breastacular!
In my country of Crapistan the waitresses all wear BURQAS for Pete's sake! Oy vey."
by One Stark Reality May 26, 2009
Basically a "big, beautiful woman" is a fat chick with a pretty face. She is the diametric opposite of a butterface.
The ongoing debate rages as to whether this term is an oxymoron. For the most part it IS (but I have never been a fan of flab). One has to concede, however, that for a woman to be considered physically "beautiful", she MUST possess a pretty face. (So there is potential for a "big, beautiful woman" to trim down and become truly beautiful).
Admittedly, definitions of beauty can be somewhat subjective. Realistically speaking though, if a woman is too overweight to wear a two-piece bathing suit in public, then she does not approach an accurate description of beautiful. (Curves are nice, cellulite isn't).
Modern day beauty pageants like "Miss USA" and the "Miss Hawaiian Tropic International" are very illustrative of this point. The contestants possess varying physical attributes but, regardless of height, breast cup size, butt size, hair length, hair color and eye color, they have one thing in common: flat stomachs.
Usually known by the acronym BBW, a "big, beautiful woman" posts photographs of herself on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise her obesity. Classic examples usually include a combination of:
- close-up head or face shots
- extremely high or overhead camera angles
- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.
Flashing cleavage or employing hairnosis and/or boobnosis are often used as secondary deceptions.
Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the BBW in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess flab. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.
(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?
Big, beautiful women come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "thick", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "more to love." Star Jones is their poster child).
To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.
To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
The ongoing debate rages as to whether this term is an oxymoron. For the most part it IS (but I have never been a fan of flab). One has to concede, however, that for a woman to be considered physically "beautiful", she MUST possess a pretty face. (So there is potential for a "big, beautiful woman" to trim down and become truly beautiful).
Admittedly, definitions of beauty can be somewhat subjective. Realistically speaking though, if a woman is too overweight to wear a two-piece bathing suit in public, then she does not approach an accurate description of beautiful. (Curves are nice, cellulite isn't).
Modern day beauty pageants like "Miss USA" and the "Miss Hawaiian Tropic International" are very illustrative of this point. The contestants possess varying physical attributes but, regardless of height, breast cup size, butt size, hair length, hair color and eye color, they have one thing in common: flat stomachs.
Usually known by the acronym BBW, a "big, beautiful woman" posts photographs of herself on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise her obesity. Classic examples usually include a combination of:
- close-up head or face shots
- extremely high or overhead camera angles
- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.
Flashing cleavage or employing hairnosis and/or boobnosis are often used as secondary deceptions.
Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the BBW in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess flab. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.
(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?
Big, beautiful women come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "thick", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "more to love." Star Jones is their poster child).
To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.
To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
>>>>>
SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another big beautiful woman with delusions of grandeur.
SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another big beautiful woman with delusions of grandeur.
by One Stark Reality September 17, 2009
(sub-variant of hairnosis)
A form of visual "hypnosis" used to make people think, at first glance and hopefully longer, that you are more attractive than you actually are through the use of:
- a great abundance of natural blonde hair,
or, more often,
- a great abundance of bleached blonde hair.
The goal is to divert attention from one's plain or unattractive face, or unattractive body. This purposeful deception falls between "accentuating the positives" of one's appearance and actually undergoing cosmetic surgery or liposuction.
A form of visual "hypnosis" used to make people think, at first glance and hopefully longer, that you are more attractive than you actually are through the use of:
- a great abundance of natural blonde hair,
or, more often,
- a great abundance of bleached blonde hair.
The goal is to divert attention from one's plain or unattractive face, or unattractive body. This purposeful deception falls between "accentuating the positives" of one's appearance and actually undergoing cosmetic surgery or liposuction.
Brunettes and redheads think that women who use blondenosis are stupid and fake (but not as stupid as the guys who are deceived by it).
Brunette at party: "Can't that cute guy see that fake blonde for what she is?"
Redhead at party: "Only if he snaps out of the blondenosis by taking a long, second look."
Brunette at party: "Can't that cute guy see that fake blonde for what she is?"
Redhead at party: "Only if he snaps out of the blondenosis by taking a long, second look."
by One Stark Reality April 11, 2008
A person who "reinvents the wheel" by posting non-slang, Wikipedia-like (or Dictionary.com) definitions to Urban Dictionary. Come on sheeple, awaken and get a clue!
Urban Dictionary is supposed to be a place where slang, coined words, ghetto slang (ebonics), teenspeak, regional colloquialisms and other neologisms are defined for the benefit of others (preferably with some wit and humor).
Abbreviations and acronyms of non-slang words/terms are also acceptable as long as they are briefly defined (and don't then morph into an encyclopedic reference).
Urban Dictionary is supposed to be a place where slang, coined words, ghetto slang (ebonics), teenspeak, regional colloquialisms and other neologisms are defined for the benefit of others (preferably with some wit and humor).
Abbreviations and acronyms of non-slang words/terms are also acceptable as long as they are briefly defined (and don't then morph into an encyclopedic reference).
Contrasting examples:
MISOGYNIST (UDtard definition): A woman hater.
MISOGYNIST (slang definition): A man who wins an argument with a feminist.
>>>>>>>>
RACIST (UDtard definition): Someone who feels racially superior, and exercises prejudice or negative attitudes towards people of a different skin color.
RACIST (slang definition): A statement of surrender during an argument.
When two people are engaged in an acrimonious debate, the one that first says "Racist!" has conceded defeat. Synonymous with saying "Resign" during a chess game.
"Racist" acquired this new meaning when debaters (predictably) used the term as an argument of last resort. (They couldn't prevail against logic, truth, and common sense, so they played the race card to try and eek out a victory).
>>>>>>>>
CLOWN (UDtard definition): a circus performer known for their comic antics, exaggerated physical features, brightly colored costumes, and heavy use of stage make-up.
CLOWN (slang definitions): 1. A person who is humorous without intention, therefore is a dumb mutha.
2. A girl who covers herself in so much makeup, the true flesh of her face is difficult or impossible to see.
>>>>>>>>
Do you see the difference in these examples??? UD is for entertainment, so keep that in mind as you add words in the future--no more boring, unimaginative stuff! You're dismissed.
MISOGYNIST (UDtard definition): A woman hater.
MISOGYNIST (slang definition): A man who wins an argument with a feminist.
>>>>>>>>
RACIST (UDtard definition): Someone who feels racially superior, and exercises prejudice or negative attitudes towards people of a different skin color.
RACIST (slang definition): A statement of surrender during an argument.
When two people are engaged in an acrimonious debate, the one that first says "Racist!" has conceded defeat. Synonymous with saying "Resign" during a chess game.
"Racist" acquired this new meaning when debaters (predictably) used the term as an argument of last resort. (They couldn't prevail against logic, truth, and common sense, so they played the race card to try and eek out a victory).
>>>>>>>>
CLOWN (UDtard definition): a circus performer known for their comic antics, exaggerated physical features, brightly colored costumes, and heavy use of stage make-up.
CLOWN (slang definitions): 1. A person who is humorous without intention, therefore is a dumb mutha.
2. A girl who covers herself in so much makeup, the true flesh of her face is difficult or impossible to see.
>>>>>>>>
Do you see the difference in these examples??? UD is for entertainment, so keep that in mind as you add words in the future--no more boring, unimaginative stuff! You're dismissed.
by One Stark Reality May 11, 2009