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Nutzen YerMouf's definitions

Microsoft Excel

Software created by Microsoft that non-technical people use instead of a database, or cheap companies use as a crappy application studio.
We have 6,000 Microsoft Excel files out there that are exactly identical in reference to the type of data they store. It would be perfect for a database, but we use Excel because the web server we store them on is already paid for by another department and we don't want to pay for a database.

Microsoft Excel VBA applications need to die. You will never get a real programmer to stay around if all you want them to do is build VBA applications with that shit because you are too cheap to buy Visual Studio. This may be why your turnover is so high or your developers lack motivation and ambition to do real work.

My shitty job wants me to program in VBScript and Microsoft Excel VBA. I am looking for a new job because I value my skills and wish to avoid Excel hell.
by Nutzen YerMouf March 12, 2018
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girther movement

After President Donald J. Trump's first annual physical as President of the United States the Physician announced that Donald Trump's weight was 239 pounds. The girther movement was born out of disbelief that his stated weight was so low and people believed that there was a cover-up hiding his real weight. If he was hiding his real weight, it was likely the other results were also questionable; specifically his mental state.
The White House Physician announced that Trump weighed 239 pounds, and the girther movement was born.
by Nutzen YerMouf May 3, 2018
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It's the people.

Banning guns won't solve the problem, only cherry picked evidence supports this.
Giving all citizens guns won't solve the problem, only cherry picked evidence supports this.
Putting armed guards in schools, arming teachers, gun restrictions or prohibitions, school lock-downs, won't solve this.

These all are reactions to the problem, they do not solve the core problem.

The problem is the American people. Everyone is so concerned with what we can do after the fact, that no one cares to look in to why we have a relatively large population that wants to go in to schools and shoot them up.
Another school shooting, more politicians screaming about more guns, less guns, gun restrictions on psychopaths... The real problem with America is the people.
by Nutzen YerMouf May 6, 2018
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Phrase used in the Midwest United States that means "It's really cold".
Often used in rural areas by senior citizens or those over 50.
The temperature dropped to -5 degrees during the daylight hours. My grandmother exclaimed, "It's colder than a two peckered billy goat out here." I agreed and retorted, "It's colder than a well digger's ass"
by Nutzen YerMouf May 8, 2018
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Dallas dustblow

Ronnie just wanted to get his dick sucked. So he gave some tweaker whore $5 and a cigarette for a Dallas dustblow.
by Nutzen YerMouf March 4, 2018
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squirty-circus

Consists of a group of 3 or more people performing in a show for an audience, where one of the people serves as the ringmaster and the others the clowns or entertainers. The ringmaster must be suffering from diarrhea, often achieved through the use of a laxative. During the show the ringmaster will attempt to defecate on the faces of the other clowns, resulting in a hazy spray of diarrhea. Many of the clowns perform tricks, such as a trampoline or trapeze, while trying to avoid the fecal matter spray.
This was Rebecca's first time watching a squirty-circus. She had fun, and even got hit by some of the ringmasters fecal matter.
by Nutzen YerMouf June 7, 2017
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scrum methodology

An agile methodology primarily used for software application development related projects where you talk more about what you are going to do and spend less time actually doing it.
"Do we really need to have these update meetings every 2 hours? You want to know what I did for the past two hours, I was in other meetings, just like the two hours prior. I haven't wrote jack shit for code, but I am really getting sick of hearing Brenda say, 'Can you see my screen now?'"
Project manager responds, "We practice Scrum methodology here. If you don't like it go to Diane's team, they use Crystal Methods"
Stoned application developer responds, "Crystal Meth? Where is Diane's team?"
by Nutzen YerMouf May 9, 2018
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