Nick D's definitions

Slalom Lager

A type of beer that tastes like shit, but it has 9% alcohol content, so you just fucking drink it.

Heineken, Foster's, and High Life are bitch beers. Real men drink Slalom Lager.

by Nick D October 16, 2003

babysitters club

Collective name for any group of lightweight bitches who nurse the same beer all night or warehouse beer like it ain't no thing. Members of this club often resort to faking drunk to not seem like a pussy in front of real drinkers.
Derives its name from a ridiculous book series for little girls.

Timmy: "Oh man, I'm SOOOOO wasted! I must have had at least 20 beers tonight!"
Steve: "Yeah, right! I've seen you warehousing like a mofo all night!"
Timmy: "Well what I mean is I took 15 shots before I even came here."
Steve: "BUUUULLLLLLSHIIIIT!!!"
Matt: (mocking Timmy) "RING, RING, RING! Hello...babysitters club! Timmy speaking! Oh of course I can babysit your beer tonight, Mrs. Johnson...but I can only handle one. If I get two beers in me I usually puke my pants. OK, sounds great. Toodles!"

by Nick D October 25, 2005

female condom

A contraceptive that is best compared to a plastic bag like you get at the supermarket. There's really no reason to use one of these, when better options are available for a couple of bucks at the mini mart, and pulling out is free.

Matt: "So Kevin, how was Lindsey last night? Did you beat it up, as usual?"
Kevin: "Hell yeah dogg, I beat that up like I was the school bully."
Matt: "You guys use those female condoms, right?"
Kevin: "Yeah, but she ran out. Fortunately she had just bought groceries at Safeway, so I just strapped on a plastic bag and went at it."
Matt: "Good thinking, man. That's some serious Macgyver shit."
Kevin: "No, not really."

by Nick D February 8, 2004

twatmaster

a pimp, with complete control over all the twat in his domain

No bitches wanted me when I worked at Burger King, but this big time job waiting tables at Denny's has transformed me into the...da da da da...twatmaster. That's clit commander in layman's terms.

by Nick D February 11, 2003

kings

A drinking game using all 52 cards in a deck, drawn one at a time. Rules vary from place to place, with each card meaning a different activity must be done, but the game has one common feature all over the world: the kings cup. This cup is placed in the middle of the table, with the cards around it. Whenever a king is drawn, the person who draws it must pour some of his/her drink in the kings cup. The unlucky bastard who draws the fourth and final king in the deck must chug whatever is in this cup. Can often be some nasty, ungodly concoction if people are playing with different drinks.

I almost shit myself when I saw the dreaded fourth king and realized I'd have to drink that disgusting mix of Irish Stout, Smirnoff Ice, and white russian.

by Nick D July 19, 2004

remainders of fun

A game used to determine who gets to sit shotgun in a car. Basically you pick a number between zero and the number one less than the number of people who are playing. Then everyone throws out a number in that range, and whoever's original number matches the remainder when the sum of the thrown numbers is divided by the number of people playing, wins. It's a really dumb game, and that tool bag Nicholas D claims to have invented it.

Nick D: "Shotty!"
Nicholas D: "No, let's play remainders of fun for it."
Nick D: "I already called shotty."
Nicholas D: "So what? Let's play."
Nick D: "Shotty is french for 'let me sit fucking shotgun before I shoot you with a fucking shotgun'."
Nicholas D: "OK, I'll just sit bitch."
Nick D: "You would."

by Nick D May 23, 2004

refrigerator raider

A very obese person who consumes a large quantity of food. May eat you out of house and home if he/she visits. Closest known synonym is cheese hog.

Better hide those Cheesecake Factory leftovers before Ted comes over with his girlfriend Cindy. That bitch is a big-time refrigerator raider.

by Nick D June 28, 2006