being black on a Friday night

A crime on which cops have seriously cracked down over the years. The sentence is usually a beating with nightsticks and a night in jail. The perpetrator is usually released the next morning since it's only a misdemeanor. (don't take this seriously kids, I'm not racist, it's satire)

Jamal and Rashawn had a killer craving for Krispy Kremes, but they knew they'd better stay away from the store if they didn't want to get the shit beat out of them and get booked for being black on a Friday night.

by Nick D July 19, 2004

fork it over

To hand something off to another person, usually used when an item is being confiscated or something is owed.

You: "What seems to be the problem, officer?"
Cop: "Speeding, you idiot!"
You: "I don't think so, I was going the speed limit."
Cop: "Yeah...um...well...that box of Krispy Kremes! You have drugs in there, don't you?"
You: "Uh...no."
Cop: "Stop being a smartass! Fork it over!"
(Cop ravenously scarfs down all 12 donuts)
Cop: "Nope, no drugs. Sorry to bother you. Have a nice day."
(Cop pulls into Dunkin' Donuts for a second helping)

by Nick D July 19, 2004

baller block

A synonym of cock block. When someone baller blocks you they are hindering your attempt to get your mack on with a member of the opposite sex. This heinous crime is punishable by castration, Chinese water torture, slow painful death, or community service.

Todd: "Man last night was a bitch. I was trying to work my game on that hot chick from the PR department, but some asshole was hanging all over her the entire night. Total baller blockage."
Luke: "That was her husband, dude."
Todd: "Still, what would it hurt him to let her take a couple of rides on my jock? I had to go home and spank it to the newspaper lingerie ads again."
Luke: "You sure do that a lot. You must have some killer chafing going on."
Todd: "Man, you have no idea."

by Nick D August 30, 2004

goggles

Something you put on figuratively when you go to a place with very low quality women for an extended period of time. The goggles change the apparent attractiveness of the women based on a relative scale, sort of like a curve on a test. So if a 6 is the best around, she starts looking like a 10 and a 4 will start looking like a 7 or 8. A girl who at first appears tore up from the floor up will eventually improve to nothing to write home about as the goggles set in. It's an altered state of perception.

When Will first came to UC-Berkeley and saw all the nappy-dreaded hippie beast women the school had to offer, he thought he'd never find anything to beat up. But eventually, after the goggles finally took effect, he found himself bringing home a new swamp donkey every night and loving every minute of it.

by Nick D August 18, 2004

fish

a loose poker player who loses all their money easily.

Matt Damon is such a fucking fish.

by Nick D March 06, 2003

blunt

1. (adj) abrupt and obvious in manner of speech.
2. (adj) not sharp-pointed; dull (describing an object).

1. To be blunt about it, I really need a fucking blunt. I haven't had a good smoke all day.

2. Hand over the blunt before I hit you with this large blunt object. I'm mad jonesing for a hit.

by Nick D April 28, 2003

B.S.

1) short for "bullshit"
2) short for "beer shits", a more subtle way to say it

You: "Let me use the shitter, I've got serious B.S.!"
Your grandma: "Shut up, that's total B.S. Anyway I need to piss like a racehorse."
You: "Move bitch!!! Oh shit I'm not gonna make it!!!"
(doesn't make it)

by Nick D November 19, 2003