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Nicholas D's definitions

ZIRP

Zero Interest Rate Phenomenon. In the period of near-zero interest rates that lasted from roughly 2008-2021, cash was cheap and many people - especially large tech companies - were throwing away money on silly things. Those things went away in 2022 and are now known as ZIRPs.
Googler 1: “Arrrgh I can’t fix this bug! Can you call the office fluffer down here to help get my mind off this for a bit?”
Googler 2: “Sorry chief, they got rid of the fluffers in ‘22. Just like the dog spa and the corporate Segways. Those were all ZIRPs, bud. Welcome to the age of austerity.”
by Nicholas D March 24, 2024
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cum in the fluffer

To mess up completely and utterly; to screw the pooch. Comes from pornstar/influencer/philosopher Aella's 2024 birthday gangbang, where 5 of the 37 guys allowed to have intercourse with Aella came in the fluffer and missed their shot at the birthday girl. A fluffer is an assistant who keeps performers excited on pornography sets to prepare for their scene.
Johnson, if you don't get that TPS report in by end of day you're going to get shitcanned. Step it up and don't cum in the fluffer here.
by Nicholas D March 3, 2024
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onager

An Asian wild ass. This is actually an animal, but can also be used to signify a crazy and promiscuous woman from the East.
When you’re in Tokyo, you should hit the clubs in Shibuya and see if you can score some onager.
by Nicholas D February 3, 2024
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Σ

1) The Greek letter sigma
2) The summation operator, indicating a series to be summed
3) A synonym for "summer" due to definition (2) above
4) A synonym for "count it" due to definition (2) above, indicating agreement with someone
Guy 1: "Hey man, can't believe tomorrow is June 1st and it's almost Σ. What do you want to do after we finish these Σ exercises for math class? Maybe go to the ΣAE frat party?"
Guy 2: "Nah, let's chill with the broskis and watch '500 Days of Σ' while we drink some White Claw and Aperol spritzers."
Guy 1: "Σ! But it bothers me in that movie how Σ really screwed over JGL, NGL."
Guy 2: "Σ."
by Nicholas D August 8, 2023
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girish

A name commonly used as a pun in many words in the Engirish language. Can be pronounced either "grr-IHSH" or "grr-EESH".
Girish Girishtie, a poligirishian from the girishdiction of New Girishey, had a big debate to attend. He had girishently been engirished to run for Congirish by mentors like Girish W. Bush and Newt Gingirish. Girish wasn't the most girishmatic man and sometimes spoke jibgirish. Nor was he learned, never having read "Ode on a Girishan Urn" or the writings of the Hare Girishna, instead preferring a John Girisham book or "The Lion, Girish, and the Wardrobe". Still, he lived a fairly luxurgirish life and certainly was not malgirished due to his love for sugirish foods. Speakingirish, he enjoyed Girish's Pieces, Rice Girishpie Treats, licgirish, and Ben and Girish ice cream.

Girish studied his policy points he might have to regirishitate later, rigirishly covering all the categirish. He boned up on the situations in Kyrgirishtan and United Arab Emgirish, Turgirish transgirishins against the Kurgirish people, the ingirishingly girishly water crisis in Flint, Girishigan, the latest girishmandering district lines, the new tax on cigirish, and girisht of the issues. With fingirish crossed, off to girishes he went! Unfortunately he had an amagirish and disgirishful performance and was embarrgirished by the eventual election winner, Mr. Girishon from "South Park", an aggirishive gingirish ogirish clown with angirishues and no disgirishion. At least he was a girishous loser, figuring it's all girisht for the mill. Someday, he regirishured himself, his face would be on Mt. Girishmore.
by Nicholas D December 19, 2022
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Tetanus

A disease that affects the asshole on Vietnamese New Year (Tet). Unlike the other disease spelled similarly, this is pronounced TET-AY-nuss, not TET-uh-nuss.
Guy 1: Sup bro, how was the weekend?
Guy 2: Not great, had a mad case of tetanus.
Guy 1: Oh shit, did you step on a rusty nail?
Guy 2: No, I went over to Trinh’s house for Vietnamese New Year and went overboard on the five fruit tray. It ran through me like a hot knife through butter.
Guy 1: Oh yeah that’ll do it.
by Nicholas D December 16, 2022
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joe biden

Waiting (biden your time) for the right opportunity to drink coffee (joe)
Worker 1: "Did you get your coffee yet?"
Worker 2: "No, I've been stuck in this meeting but I'm joe biden and ready to make a run for the coffee pot as soon as there's a break."
by Nicholas D July 11, 2022
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