Newton Orchid's definitions

Masturdate

A very good date, but you are all alone.

Had the greatest masturdate this weekend! I even "scored."

by Newton Orchid October 8, 2018

Knews

News that everyone already know about. That's the joke.

And in other knews, water is pretty pretty wet.

by Newton Orchid October 7, 2018

Smock Drawer

Sock drawer for your smocks. A sign of elegance, taste, and class.

Every visitor to my home is permitted to wear one of my smocks. Please select one to your liking from my smock drawer.

by Newton Orchid October 7, 2018

Baneener

Banana, but older. Sold at a discount and is probably very squishy.

I am too poor for bananas but I can still afford half a baneener

by Newton Orchid October 7, 2018

Hatsplatter

A bird popped on your hat, so now you have a hatsplatter.

Can be any stain on hat, bird or not

Oh, whiskers, I believe I've just been hatsplattered!

by Newton Orchid October 7, 2018

Cushion Pusher

Not dirty. Literally a professional who has the job of pushing cushions around. Not about sex.

My father, and my father's father before him and now me. We have all worked as cushion pusher.

by Newton Orchid October 7, 2018

Brett Kavagnaw

Term of endearment for dog who chews on everything

Hey, who chewed my duvet? Must have been Brett Kavagnaw. Good boy!

by Newton Orchid October 7, 2018