A spare parent. A parent you could quite easily manage without for the rest of your life.
Usually people have either one sparent, but ideally no sparents until the age of 18. After this age one ought to have two sparents, but may feel as if they still need at least one of their sparents.
The maximum number of sparents a person can have is 4, when one's parents have divorced and both remarried such that one has two actual parents and two step-parents, but all of them are useless and hence spare.
The minimum number is -2, i.e. one is an orphan, under the age of 18 who really needs two parents.
Usually people have either one sparent, but ideally no sparents until the age of 18. After this age one ought to have two sparents, but may feel as if they still need at least one of their sparents.
The maximum number of sparents a person can have is 4, when one's parents have divorced and both remarried such that one has two actual parents and two step-parents, but all of them are useless and hence spare.
The minimum number is -2, i.e. one is an orphan, under the age of 18 who really needs two parents.
by Mr. Cardboard November 08, 2011
One of the best possible pranks you can pull on someone who gets too drunk and falls asleep at a party. Various forms are possible but depend largely on the pre-existing haircut, the position the recipient has passed out in, how unconscious they are and the hair cutting devices available.
The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".
nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".
nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
Dude 1: Urgh, where am I? What time is it?
Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*
Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??
Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*
Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??
by Mr. Cardboard November 06, 2011
A sizeable stash of pornography built up over several decades, enabling you to relive the experiences of people who masturbated in those times.
Will Ferrell: "I still hate you, but you've got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags."
John C. Reilly: "Yeah, I got them from the '70's, '80's and '90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine."
John C. Reilly: "Yeah, I got them from the '70's, '80's and '90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine."
by Mr. Cardboard November 07, 2011
Any situation where you are legs and/or cheeks akimbo and feel sudden terror, for example:
- you are getting fucked by the gardener when your psychopathic mobster husband comes home early
- the shit you are taking is so wide, long and dry you fear it might split your ring open and/or drag out some colon with it
- two guys hold you bent over a table while a third kicks your legs open in preparation for the gang that's about to ass rape and possibly kill you
- the glass jar you put up your ass for a sexual thrill suddenly breaks under the pressure
- you are getting fucked by the gardener when your psychopathic mobster husband comes home early
- the shit you are taking is so wide, long and dry you fear it might split your ring open and/or drag out some colon with it
- two guys hold you bent over a table while a third kicks your legs open in preparation for the gang that's about to ass rape and possibly kill you
- the glass jar you put up your ass for a sexual thrill suddenly breaks under the pressure
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm trying to work out what colour your eyes are."
"Well stoppit you're freaking me out."
*infinitive of "freak out"
"I'm trying to work out what colour your eyes are."
"Well stoppit you're freaking me out."
*infinitive of "freak out"
by Mr. Cardboard November 07, 2011
by Mr. Cardboard November 07, 2011
Untidy skin/flesh emanating from the ringpiece, giving it the appearance of chewed bacon. Usually as a result of overly aggressive anal sex but can equally be caused by prolapse or even be congenital.
Lord Asquith met Lady Jane at the Spring ball, and after months of wooing he finally came to court her. In time they were married and there was much rejoicing throughout the land. Alas on their wedding night he discovered she had anal bacon, rendering him impotent. He obtained an anullment later that week.
by Mr. Cardboard July 04, 2012