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Mr Cunninglinguist's definitions

PAY TWICE

Noun. a name for an extremely overweight person, someone who would have to 'pay twice' to get in the cinema, ride a bus etc.
Man 1 "you've put some weight on since I last saw you you've turned into a proper 'Michelin Man'"
Man 2 " I gained 80 pounds"
Man 1 "you fat pay twice, I bet your gut has its own postcode now"
Man 2 "I've been a bit pie-friendly recently"
by Mr Cunninglinguist July 7, 2010
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MAKE YOUR TABS LAUGH

Derbyshire Slang:

This describes a substance that is particularly strong tasting or bitter (like lemons or popping candy). the phrase comes from the face pulled when tasting such substance, tabs in this case being a slang word for 'ears'. (also, in Derbyshire this phrase would be pronounced 'meck yer tabs laugh')
Man 1'Whats that you eating?'
Man 2' Raw Lemon'
Man 1' blimey mate if you suck on that much longer, that'll make your tabs laugh'.
by Mr Cunninglinguist July 7, 2010
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POLONY TREKKING

yet another name for sexual intercourse, derived from the British word for Boloney (Polony) which sounds like 'Pony' British Polony is a curled red cooked meat sausage available from the butchers. Pony Trekking- a popular equestrian activity.
On observing a saddle sore woman at a show jumping event:
man 1:"look at her, she can hardly walk'
man 2 :'I bet she spent the whole night polony trekking'
by Mr Cunninglinguist July 7, 2010
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two slices of fuck all

1. a sarcastic reply to someone who is not satisfied with what they have or
2. a claim to have eaten less than someone else
3. a moan that there was no food ready to eat at home
man 1 'I've only got one slice of bread here mate'
man 2 'you'll get two slices of fuck all in a minute mate if you don't stop moaning'

man 3 'I only had a pot noodle for my dinner'
man 4 'so what, I've had two slices of fuck all for mine'

man 5 'what did you get for your dinner when you got home mate?'
man 6 'same as usual, two slices of fuck all'
by Mr Cunninglinguist May 15, 2010
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COTMANHAY MONEY

shoplifting, named after a small town in Derbyshire England famed for its population of thieves, tramps, drug addicts and 'chavs'
man 1 'where did you get the cash to buy all those cans of lager?'
man 2 'no body was watching so I used Cotmanhay Money in the beer-off '
by Mr Cunninglinguist May 15, 2010
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ENAMEL BANGER

a huge turd, so long it touches the toilet bowl before being 'crimped off' by the ass muscles- also known as a 'crowd pleaser' , a yam, U571 or a Trent Otter
I did a massive shit last night, a real Enamel Banger
by Mr Cunninglinguist May 15, 2010
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JESUS

A pretty cool chap according to his fans. Played in goal for Tottenham Hotspur FC in the late 60's.
Eddie Wolstenholme (commentator): "JESUS SAVES.. but Best knocks in the rebound!!
by mr Cunninglinguist April 1, 2013
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