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Mr Cunninglinguist's definitions

Hogged Up

Derbyshire slang term for when you have not had sex for a while and are getting desperate. Term can be used equally for men and women.
a build up of 'sperm pressure' in men can be caused by being Hogged Up
I'm so Hogged Up I'd fuck a horse...with John Wayne on it...again. sex
by Mr Cunninglinguist August 20, 2013
mugGet the Hogged Upmug.

COTMANHAY MONEY

shoplifting, named after a small town in Derbyshire England famed for its population of thieves, tramps, drug addicts and 'chavs'
man 1 'where did you get the cash to buy all those cans of lager?'
man 2 'no body was watching so I used Cotmanhay Money in the beer-off '
by Mr Cunninglinguist May 15, 2010
mugGet the COTMANHAY MONEYmug.

Bellamy's Backyard

1. A very overgrown unkempt garden, reaching head height and resembling a jungle, named for the 70's TV show 'Bellamy's Backyard Safari' hosted by bearded botanist Sir David Bellamy.

2.An untrimmed 'Mary Hinge' as favoured by German ladies in the 1980's.
1,The chap kicked the football high, it went through the air and landed over next doors front wall
kid 1' You fetching that ball back youth?'
kid 2 ' Not a chance mate, its like Bellamy's Backyard over there, we'll never find it'

Hermann noticed that Lotte's 'Mappatazi' was sprouting out the sides of her knickers, on further inspection, he concluded that it was like Bellamy's Backyard down there
by Mr Cunninglinguist October 5, 2012
mugGet the Bellamy's Backyardmug.

shit in my hands and clap

Sarcastic Reply.
when asked to do something unpleasant or tedious, this response sums up how horrid you think that task is- and you are not going to do it .
Teacher: Smith, can you help me to hand out these excercise books to the rest of the class?
Smith: no chance...I'd rather shit in my hands and clap. Sir.
by Mr Cunninglinguist August 20, 2013
mugGet the shit in my hands and clapmug.

POLONY TREKKING

yet another name for sexual intercourse, derived from the British word for Boloney (Polony) which sounds like 'Pony' British Polony is a curled red cooked meat sausage available from the butchers. Pony Trekking- a popular equestrian activity.
On observing a saddle sore woman at a show jumping event:
man 1:"look at her, she can hardly walk'
man 2 :'I bet she spent the whole night polony trekking'
by Mr Cunninglinguist July 7, 2010
mugGet the POLONY TREKKINGmug.

MAKE YOUR TABS LAUGH

Derbyshire Slang:

This describes a substance that is particularly strong tasting or bitter (like lemons or popping candy). the phrase comes from the face pulled when tasting such substance, tabs in this case being a slang word for 'ears'. (also, in Derbyshire this phrase would be pronounced 'meck yer tabs laugh')
Man 1'Whats that you eating?'
Man 2' Raw Lemon'
Man 1' blimey mate if you suck on that much longer, that'll make your tabs laugh'.
by Mr Cunninglinguist July 7, 2010
mugGet the MAKE YOUR TABS LAUGHmug.

PAY TWICE

Noun. a name for an extremely overweight person, someone who would have to 'pay twice' to get in the cinema, ride a bus etc.
Man 1 "you've put some weight on since I last saw you you've turned into a proper 'Michelin Man'"
Man 2 " I gained 80 pounds"
Man 1 "you fat pay twice, I bet your gut has its own postcode now"
Man 2 "I've been a bit pie-friendly recently"
by Mr Cunninglinguist July 7, 2010
mugGet the PAY TWICEmug.

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