shit in a piss time

Toilettiquette...When visiting the restroom out on a date, or at a dinner party, you take a lightning fast crap to fool your date or fellow diners into thinking you only needed a piss by being in the can for such a short time.

a very hurried poop taken so as not to keep guests waiting
I really needed to take a shit but my date had arrived, so I told her I was just 'nipping to the bathroom to freshen up' and took a quick 'shit in a piss time', so as not to keep her waiting
by mr Cunninglinguist October 27, 2012
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two slices of fuck all

1. a sarcastic reply to someone who is not satisfied with what they have or
2. a claim to have eaten less than someone else
3. a moan that there was no food ready to eat at home
man 1 'I've only got one slice of bread here mate'
man 2 'you'll get two slices of fuck all in a minute mate if you don't stop moaning'

man 3 'I only had a pot noodle for my dinner'
man 4 'so what, I've had two slices of fuck all for mine'

man 5 'what did you get for your dinner when you got home mate?'
man 6 'same as usual, two slices of fuck all'
by Mr Cunninglinguist May 14, 2010
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Sack Off

Mild substitue for the stronger 'fuck off', used by kids in the 1970's Derbyshire playgrounds if in earshot of 'the dinnerlady'.
similar in use to the Aussie 'Rack Off'

The word 'sack' replaces 'fuck' in other uses:
Sack All - nothing
Sackin' Ada - 'kin'ell.. an exclamation of surprise
Sack it off - to get rid of or finish (also Sack it)

Sacked Off - fed up with or bored with or pissed off with
eg1:
kid 1 "who's brock me pencil, was it you?"
Kid 2 "Sack Off, I ant ad it"

eg 2:
Kid 1 'Gizza Chip mate?'
Kid 2 'An you can Sack off an all Get yer own chips'

Alternative 'clean' Lyrics to 'Its so Easy' by Guns 'n' Roses

"I see you standin' there, you think you're so cool
Why don't you just...
Sack Off!"
by Mr Cunninglinguist October 04, 2012
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JESUS

A pretty cool chap according to his fans. Played in goal for Tottenham Hotspur FC in the late 60's.
Eddie Wolstenholme (commentator): "JESUS SAVES.. but Best knocks in the rebound!!
by mr Cunninglinguist April 01, 2013
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Bellamy's Backyard

1. A very overgrown unkempt garden, reaching head height and resembling a jungle, named for the 70's TV show 'Bellamy's Backyard Safari' hosted by bearded botanist Sir David Bellamy.

2.An untrimmed 'Mary Hinge' as favoured by German ladies in the 1980's.
1,The chap kicked the football high, it went through the air and landed over next doors front wall
kid 1' You fetching that ball back youth?'
kid 2 ' Not a chance mate, its like Bellamy's Backyard over there, we'll never find it'

Hermann noticed that Lotte's 'Mappatazi' was sprouting out the sides of her knickers, on further inspection, he concluded that it was like Bellamy's Backyard down there
by Mr Cunninglinguist October 04, 2012
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Hogged Up

Derbyshire slang term for when you have not had sex for a while and are getting desperate. Term can be used equally for men and women.
a build up of 'sperm pressure' in men can be caused by being Hogged Up
I'm so Hogged Up I'd fuck a horse...with John Wayne on it...again. sex
by Mr Cunninglinguist August 18, 2013
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Popeyeing of the forearm

a condition usually found in single men who spend so much time 'pleasing themselves in the Boy area' that their right arm over develops severely, like one of Popeye's arms...or a fiddler Crab
man: Doc, you got to help me, I can't get my shirt sleeve over my arm its so swollen.
Doc: I'm afraid young man that you have developed "Popeyeing of the forearm"
man:is it curable?
Doc: try not to wank your nutsack flat every night and shag someone instead, that'll sort it.
by Mr Cunninglinguist August 18, 2013
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