Mr Ben's definitions

scrawl

Messy or illegible handwriting, usually a signature or a small piece of graffiti. Doctors and other health workers are masters of the scrawl.

"Call that a signature, it's just one big scrawl!"

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

tube

1. A round, cylindical object.

2. The London Underground.

3. Medical term for a totally unneccesary breast examination, usually applied to the person asking for it.

1. "Pass me a tube of loo-roll."

2. "I'll take the Tube to work this morning."

3. "Dr Marsh, we have a TUBE fo you in ward three. Enjoy!"

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

DTS

Another medical term, used to describe obese people who are a Danger To Shipping. Those crazy doctors...

"Ms Winters has a fractured right femur, severe brusing along her right arm and is DTS."

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

NOMS

Acronym for Not On My Shift. Used to pass the buck and shift blame for an incident that you are directly responsible for but do not want to admit. Care must be taken when using the word as management will think you are muttering under your breath.

"Mr Ben, did you see who attacked Mrs Webster with the fire extinguisher?"

"No, I didn't. NOMS."

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

cashcow

A product or item that is endlessly upgraded or improved and which users don't mind having to pay full price for the latest examples. A frequent occurance within video games.

EA Games have two cashcows - "The Sims" and the "FIFA" series of games. Neither of which I'd play if you paid me.

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

goodie-two-shoes

Someone who always does what's right and not what they're supposed to do.

"That goodie-two-shoes grassed up his own mother! The little bastard..."

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

satnav woman

A mysterious woman, locked away in a secret lab somewhere in Germany, whose sultry sexy tones provide guidance to millions to male drivers via their satellite navigation system. Can also be used to describe the vocal commands heard in other places, like an elevator.

"After... 200 yards, turn... left. Turn left. Do it now. You have turned... right. You are now going the wrong way." - satnav woman in full flow.

by Mr Ben July 18, 2006